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really angry need some advice

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May 30th, 2006, 06:34 AM
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 24
hello ladies... Im new to posting to this board .... ive been recently been running into some issues regarding having my child baptised , im catholic and my BF is Jehova Whitness .... it is quite important to me to have the baby baptised as well as to my family espically to my mom as she is a hard core christian.... the latest blow up is my mother says she refuses to attend the christning if my Bf will not attend , although we are of different religions i think its a bit selfish for me to expect my BF to come and perticipate in something he does not beleive in ... Right? my mom says that he is the babys father and out of respect for me he should be there ..... what would the views of the catholic church be on this ? personally to me the baptism of a child should not be for show ... im sure my moms concern is people in the parish wondering where the father of the child is my personal opinion is she will be embaressed ..... and that makes me sooo angry .... I need to know if i can convince my BF to attend what exactly happens at a christining (its been many years since ive been to one ) do they ask the parents something along the lines of will you raise this child in christian beleifs ? ( i wouldnt want to hear bf's answer to that question) .... i just need to know what to expect .... also i would like to know if there is anyway to have a private baptism done , just myself and the baby to avoid all this conflict ... opinions please
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May 30th, 2006, 07:12 AM
mmsmom_25's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 162
Yes they will ask you to promise to raise the child with christian beliefs. As far as a private baptism being done, you should call your church office and talk to the church secretary. She would be able to tell you, we did just a family bptiam on a saturday night for our oldest daughter. If I were you I would just tell everyoe you had planned on inviting that the bptim will be taking place on this day and if you want to come fine if not the baptim will go on without you. If it is so important for your mother to see your baby baptised, she should be there regardless of whether your SO will be there or not. I would talk to your BF bout it and go from there. Good Luck and one way or another your baby will be bptised!
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May 30th, 2006, 10:44 AM
Posts: n/a
I know you are Catholic and you believe in Baptism. But, you could compromise if your willing too. My husband doesn't believe in God, and my family are strict Christians. His family is Catholic. We can't baptize the baby Catholic because I am not Catholic. And, he doesn't want to push any religious beliefs on our son. So we decided to have him Christened instead which means he is under the protection of the God, but is not commited to any religion until he is old enough to pick a religion for himself. You may not like this idea. And, your husband may not either. It was just a suggestion. Good luck though...
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June 1st, 2006, 09:04 AM
M4NE's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: In a state of confusion
Posts: 2,453
I'm Baptist so I don't know much about the religous ceremonies for Catholics or Jehovah's Witnesses. But is there some sort of baptism/christening/dedication type ceremony that Jehovah's Witnesses perform for babies? Perhaps you can have the baptism and a ceremony for the baby in your BF's church. As for your mom not attending if your BF doesn't, she should look at her motivation for being there...Is it to support her daughter and grandchild or is it to keep up appearances? If she is more concerned about what the neighbor's will think than she is about witnessing such a momentous occasion in your life and the life of her grandchild...then do you really want her there anyway?? Best of luck to you!

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June 2nd, 2006, 01:38 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,597
I don't know really what to tell you. My whole family is Lutheran, and my DH kind of chose to be Lutheran once we got together. His mother is Catholic, and his father just went to church on holidays. KWIM?

Anyways, when my DD was born my DH's mother's side of the family wanted her to be baptized as Catholic, while my DH and I wanted her baptized in our church which was Free Lutheran. We just had to tell his mother that she is our daughter, which means that it's up to us. She came around and was ok with our choice, because she realized that we were not gonna change our minds.

I say if you want to baptize as Catholic, but your man doesn't want to be involved, then go for it. Just do a private baptism, and explain to your mother that it's your decision to make with your man and that she can either accept it or not show up. KWIM? Good luck!

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June 2nd, 2006, 10:23 PM
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 177
I say respect your boyfriend's wish to not attend, especially since he's respecting your wishes to have your son baptised even though he doesn't believe in it. Sorry to say it but your mom is the one with the problem and if she really wants to see her grandson baptised then she will attend regardless.

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June 3rd, 2006, 11:28 AM
Deena's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,501
I used to be a Jehovah's Witness, and I can say .. good luck on getting him to attend. I would be totally surprised if he did, because ofhis beliefs. But since he had sex before marriage, he may not be so strong in his religion, so maybe you MIGHT be able to talk him into it..
I can't believe your mom wouldn't go if he didn't go!! She should do it for you and your baby. What does it have to do with the dad???

I hope you get it worked out .. *hug*

Our boy, James!! Born February 18, 2006!! xoxoxoxox
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June 13th, 2006, 02:18 PM
Deena's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,501
How's it going for you??? Any updates????

Our boy, James!! Born February 18, 2006!! xoxoxoxox
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June 14th, 2006, 03:06 AM
Posts: n/a
My family is Catholic. When I left home I made the choice to leave the Catholic church. If I am home at the holidays I will still attend with my family but I never felt it was somwhere I belonged. I will have a Christening of some descrpition but we have yet to decide what we will do.

My mother has been throwing fits since I was 12 weeks about the baby being raised in the Catholic church and baptised in the Catholic church. She has threatened everything from not having anything to do with her grandchild to not attending the whatever type of ceremony we choose to have.

I told my mom it was her choice and if that was her decision she was only hurting herself. She raised me how she wanted and now I'll raise my child how I want to.

I wouldn't give into your mother; she'll come around eventually. If your BF does not want to attend don't force him to, it'll only cause issues between the two of you. If your mother chooses not to attend it is her decision and one she will come to regret.
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