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suggesting marriage only because...

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September 23rd, 2011, 12:37 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 27
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and just got pregnant back in early spring. My family doesnt like him (that's a long story I wont go into) or his family and havent for a good amount of our relationship. Every time I think "oh maybe they're finally coming around to him" something just has to happen and all of a sudden it's back to square one. It seems like he cant do anything right and make them happy. He takes care of me, he feeds me and puts clothes on my back and supports me and makes me so happy and he's the love of my life. I tell them nothing is wrong with our relationship and how he takes care of me, but it doesnt seem to phase them. He's not even allowed at my parents' house. It started because they think he "stole me away from them" and pressured me into moving in with him a few years ago (when he didnt, I just didnt have the heart to tell my family we had been planning it for a little while. Long story), and I understand they were upset over that. But it's been a few years and he hasnt even really done anything, and they still dont like him. Now that I'm pregnant they're suggesting we get married because he's in the military and our little girl and myself would be covered with his insurance. I'm under my mother's right now but they baby wont be and I dont know if my hospital visit will be covered by hers, yet my boyfriend's insurance will cover me completely if I give birth in a military hospital. My sister has flat out told me several times "no offense but I hope you guys dont get married" yet my parents are suggesting it only because of the insurance benefits I'd have. I love him more than anything and want to marry him but not because my parents say I should only for insurance. That's the only reason they're saying we should, otherwise they've told me "there are other fish in the sea" before I got pregnant. They hinted "you dont need to spend the rest of your life with him" and I'm "still young" and all that. I'm just upset because first they hint I should find someone else now they're telling me we should get married because I would have insurance. What do I do I'm already half way through my pregnancy and it's flown by, I can only imagine how the next half will go
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September 24th, 2011, 07:55 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
((HUGS)) You sometimes have to move on from your family if they can not be supportive of you. They may not like the decisions that you make, but it is YOUR life not theirs and you have to do what YOU feel is right. I have no contact with DH's family, I just can't deal with those people. He has cut himself off from them several times in the past as well. As hard as it may be, your just going to have to tell them to butt out. If you and your SO feel like marriage is the next step in your relationship then by all means go for it. Marriage is a decision you need to make with your heart not your wallet. Good luck!! Keep us posted on how things go.
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September 26th, 2011, 11:58 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,585
Huge hugs.

I am a military wife so I can shed a bit of light on the insurance. Your child will be covered because the baby will be his dependent. Once the baby is born he will need to add the baby to DEERS and once in DEERS the baby will be on tricare. She will be standard for the 1st 30 days then she will be prime. He will need to take her birth certificate to his PSD office and once she added she will be covered. She will also be covered under his insurance for 60 days after birth. Hope that helps a bit.

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