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Would this be to mean?

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February 28th, 2012, 09:16 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 444
I've sort of had it with my sister and her kids. Well not so much her kids, but her.

We often have family get togethers, and each family takes turn hosting. My sister and her husband will not watch their kids and they are destructive.

This one I really feel bad about. They have a son who is severely autistic and mentally retarded. He often runs away from the group to find his own place to hang out, which is fine. The thing is, he often poops or pees in a room, and my sister and her husband just laugh! And my sister gags when asked to clean it up. Our mom always ends up cleaning. He also throws up for next to know reason, get his hands dirty in food and smears it on walls, licks food off his fingers and reaches into a bowl full of food, and he often gets angry and tries to beak things or will dump his drink on the floor. And his parents do nothing and feel that this behavior is acceptable because he is handicapped. He also likes to strip, which isn't so much of a problem now, but he will be hitting puberty soon and he is starting to show signs of aggression. He is getting too old for that behavior. And once again, the parents do nothing and treat this as normal. And I feel bad being angry because the child is severely handicapped.

Now for the other one. They have an adopted 7 year old deaf son, which no problem. He also likes to get into things. He runs upstairs or into another room, opens drawers, and pulls things out. Some times things break. He also one time poured and entire container of soap out onto the floor. When I complained to his parents, they just laughed and said "oh he's just curious". Last time he was in the back yard throwing rocks and later kept slamming the door everytime he came inside. We had pizza for dinner and his hands were full of sauce. I had to run over, direct him to the sink and have him wash his hands. I have trouble correcting him because I don't know a lot of sigh language. i am trying to learn more, and I have mastered the "don't" sign. The thing is, he's not a bad kid, he just doesn't get corrected. Like the other son, his parents excuse his behavior because he is adopted and he is deaf.

The sister is the most well behaved though she is doing certain actions that are no longer appropriate for her age. But she is better behaved for the most part.

There are six other kids that attend these parties. Their parents take turns watching the kids when they are in a separate room to make sure that they do not cause trouble. My sister and her husband never take a turn. They just let their kids go off and do whatever they want.

I can't enjoy any family get togethers when I host because I pretty much spend the entire time watching her kids. I honestly dread when my week comes up.

I have talked to my sister, and every time she has played the victim. She tells me that I am a horrible person because I do not understand that her kids are special needs. And to be honest, I do feel bad that her kids are the only ones I am picking on. But I feel with a little supervision and explaining to their son what he is doing wrong, we won't have so many problems. And if they make a mess, if they could clean it up.

I am about to not invite her to the next party. I will tell her that until she disciplines her kids and helps to supervise, that she is not welcome. Her kids behavior has also been bothering my other siblings.

Is to harsh or too mean? Am I just out of line?

(And if anyone is curious, yes their house is a mess and destroyed. I am afraid to sit down on any of their furniture. I don't know how they put up with in.)

Last edited by Rinchan; February 28th, 2012 at 09:21 PM.
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February 29th, 2012, 09:25 AM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 4
As a parent of a child with special needs, i woud say you are absoutly NOT out of line to ask her to not come unless she can, at the very least, help supervise her children and clean upp after their messes.

My daughter does not have autism, but she has some mild autistic-like tendencies. Honestly, my daughter has a lot of "tummy trouble", i would NEVER expect anyone other then my husband or myself to clean up any of her "bodily messes". There also are ways to not have to clean up poop and pee, if he can't control his bowels and bladder why is he not wearing diapers. They do make diaper for older children too, there is nothing wrong with it if he has a ligitament reason to need diapers.

Most of the other things i could see happening. If it were just those things, then i dont think it would be so bad, but if the parents leave it all for others to clean up then that is a problem too.

(i know no one actually "knows" me, so im not sure how much my opinion is worth, but i just wanted to let you know i really dont think its out of line)

Mommy to Val, my very special little girl. Born on 28 May 2007. She is my world.
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February 29th, 2012, 09:31 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 53
I 100% do not think you are out of line. Alicia said it best. I feel that special needs or not, children need to be taught discipline and how to act. Obviously, this is not the children's fault..the parents need to step up and take responsibility for their children. I would do the same thing, in asking that your sister's family not come over unless she takes those steps...at least in your home. She should be respectful of other people's children and living space.
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March 4th, 2012, 08:14 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I agree, if she cant supervise her kids better than that, then there would no invite. So who cleans up the poo when they are at home??
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March 11th, 2012, 01:49 PM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,641
Originally Posted by in_mommy View Post
I agree, if she cant supervise her kids better than that, then there would no invite. So who cleans up the poo when they are at home??
Maybe that's why she's afraid to sit on the couch

Kinda sad that they are being allowed to adopt children when they treat them that way too.

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