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21 weeks pregnant and husband disappeared!

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  • 10 Post By *Jennifer*
  • 5 Post By Dhartanya
  • 2 Post By Mom2Froggy
  • 1 Post By MindyRambo

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June 10th, 2012, 08:26 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1
Hi, I donít know how to start this. ButÖ I am having some serious problem right now. Iím 21 weeks pregnant and really need some help.

Both my husband and I know that my hormone is going crazy which isnít fun for either of us at all or anybody else. Most of the times I donít want to be talk to or near to anyone. Also little things that seem innocent and make no sense seem to get on my nerve so bad.
I know my husband have it really hard and he is really trying to do his best to be there for me.

A bit more than a week ago, his mother passed away. Ever since then, things have just been getting really bad.
I was mad at him because ever since his mother passed away, he has been a big baby about it. He took a week off work against my suggestion. Now he is home a lot more which doesnít help at all!
To make thing worse, he seems to show no regarding for my needs or anything and doesnít appreciate any support I have gave. It was very tough for me to try giving him any support since I really canít stand him at all, let lone try to be around him with him wanting to hug or be close to me a lot.

Thing seems to steadily get worse over the time. Finally four days ago, we got in a terrible argue and I ended up did few things that I really regret and am not proud of.
My husband ended up left at middle of the night then took almost all money out of the bank account next day.

He isnít answering phone call and have answered text only twice despite of numerous calls and texts I sent him!
I have tried to apologize many times and explain him that I didnít mean to be that way toward him. Yet he doesnít even seem to care.
I donít know what to do anymore! Iím getting desperate and scared.
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June 11th, 2012, 10:18 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
Can I be totally honest with you? I need to vent after reading your post. I know this is a place of support, but saying your husband is being a big baby about his mom dying leaves me baffled. It is his mother for crying out loud! Being pregnant and hormonal does not give you a pass to be a less than understanding wife.

Also, I am assuming you told your husband to keep going to work because you need the income. Trust me, most families cannot afford missed income. However, if he needs time to mourn the loss of his mother, then you should be supportive about it. Time off for bereavement is there for a reason.

I hope you two can get to a better place and that he can forgive you.

Sorry if I come off as judgmental and harsh.

Last edited by *Jennifer*; June 11th, 2012 at 10:22 AM.
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June 11th, 2012, 10:36 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: North Delta, BC & Tucson, Arizona
Posts: 2,576
I know your pregnant, but in no world is it appropriate for a wife to call her other half a baby a week after he loses his mother.

Instead of being there for him in his time of need, you tore him down and emotionally kicked him out of the door. Your now shocked he physically walked out?

He's hurt, he's mourning, he's no doubt not thinking or acting clearly. He probably feels very lost and alone.

It may take him a lot of time to come back, and it's gonna take a lot from you for him to regain his trust in you.

I know pregnancy makes you feel outta sorts and can make you say and do things you don't mean. This time, your words have consequences though.

Time to deal with the consequences with maturity and hope he can forgive you.
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June 19th, 2012, 08:03 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,090
I don't see how someone can be a "baby" over the loss of one of their parents. I also don't see how taking time off of work to properly mourn can make things worse... You say he shows no support for your needs, but it doesn't seem like you are being supportive of his needs.

Sorry, but you seem to be really in the wrong about this. I'd be trying to do all I could to show how wrong you are in this situation.
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June 20th, 2012, 05:51 AM
MindyRambo's Avatar Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 839
If this post is real, I completely agree with the others, you are being selfish here, pregnant or not. However, I have a feeling we are being punked.
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June 22nd, 2012, 09:03 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I agree with everyone else. No reason to call him a baby after his mother died and it is completely normal to take time off during that time as well. I think you need to talk to your dr about getting on something to help with your moods. I am sure you really hurt him and I do not blame him for not talking to you or answering your texts. Give him some space and time to think things through.
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July 13th, 2012, 09:02 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
Has he came back yet or have you talked to him??? Just wondering how things were...
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