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VERY LONG RANT - tired of welfare/medicaid people/ moms that abuse the system!!!

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  • 1 Post By Casey99
  • 3 Post By MindyRambo
  • 2 Post By MzzMommaD
  • 3 Post By Mom2Froggy
  • 3 Post By Kiam

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January 12th, 2013, 09:28 AM
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 73
I am just really annoyed this morning about this. Let me first say that I grew up VERY POOR. Up until I was 10 my dad lived with us, and there were many times we were without heat (no $ for oil ,we had oil heat) or without electricity, and please, TV?? lol thankfully then you could still use the rabbit ears! I never had Bday parties growing up, we NEVER went out to eat, NEVER went on vacation, not even day trips, and I never got anything just because. ANd we did not have insurance, so I rarely went to the dentist or doctor.
My mother, who I no longer have in our life for reasons not stated here, was lazy for starters. She refused to work, ever. Even though we were struggling. My dad worked 7 days a week in a labor job (no education) and mom sat around the house. When I was 10 mom decided she was sick of dad, and left him and did it by applying for welfare, section 8 and all the fixings. We moved to some shady apartment, and mom did do some off the books work here and there (this will be the most she works in her life, as later in life she remarries a loser bigger than she was for the $$) Mom worked the system, having boyfriends live with her so she had their income plus welfare. You just don't tell welfare that the bf is living there. All the families we lived around did it. Mom got into alcohol too. ALL of the kids I knew from there had parents that worked the system, smoked, some did drugs, some sold drugs, and all collected welfare. It was like a big joke how well we all (friend, neighborhood) worked the system.

I started working at 15 to buy myself school clothes. (been working ever since) Sometimes mom would take my pay check and go to the bar, but as I got bigger (mom's only 5', but I grew to 5'6") she was less able to physically bully me and I kept my money. I ran with the wrong crown outside of school, but in school I kept my head on straight because I knew I did not want to live like this forever. As I got to the end of high school, most of the kids from the neighborhood were either dropped out, in juvy or pregnant. My DH and I actually met because he was the step brother if a girl in my neighborhood who I was friends with. She dropped out at 17, started stripping at 18, and got pregnant from a crack dealer when she was almost 19. I just can't make this stuff up. But her step brother was like me, not willing to live like this for ever. He and I started hanging out when she was off with the crack dealer (before getting pregnant, because soon as she was knocked up, he dumped her).

When I was 19 mom's bf (the one she finally ended up marrying) attacked me physically (he usually just yelled but I had a feeling it was coming) and I packed stuff in a bag and left that day. I moved in with a friend, they had a room in the attic. When my bf (future DH) turn 18 a few months later he was kicked out and moved in with me. His step mom (stripper drop out preggo's real mom) another welfare-ie, pill head, said she was no longer responsible for him and kicked him out, in the middle of his senoir year of high school. We did not drop out. We actually graduated, which was unheard of in our circle of friends/ town.

DH and I supported ourselves through school and went to college on loans. NO help from parents at all. I will say that we tried to get assistance. There were many times we went to churches for food baskets because we couldn't afford food. But we were ineligible for any public assistance because... we DIDN'T have kids!! And we kept saying we don't have kids yet because we are so poor!! One time a social worker actually told me, the system is not set up for hard workers making good choices. If you go get pregnant we can help you. ....W. T. F. ?!?!

DH and I did not even OWN a TV. We took no vacations, no tattoos, I did not get my hair or nails done. We bought clothes at flea markets and thrift stores. We lived in dumpy places in shady neighborhoods. We drove clunker cars that DH would fix himself if they broke. He even did his own oil changes to save money. And of course, no health insurance.

Fast forward 10 years.

And now DH is a physician assistant and I am an RN. We own a home and make a very good living for ourselves. It took us a decade, and some serious student loan debt, but we should be well off.

But we are bogged down with student loan payments and taxes. Yes, we now pay tons of money every year in taxes for programs that couldn't do **** for us when we needed it. And why? Because we waited until we could afford kids to have them.

I still have friends from the other side of the tracks, but the relationships are getting strained. They spent their 20s getting drunk and popping out kids and now still live in shady neighborhoods, have no plans of bettering their life, and get free stuff from the government. They take their tax money REFUND each year and go on vacation, get tattoos, smoke, drink, go on day trips, throw $400 bday parties for their kids, and get their hair and nails done. Mean while, DH and I still shop at the flea market and thrift stores, by choice, because we'd rather save the money or make sure all our bills are paid.
DH and I came from a poor life, and we have said that the stories of people that "make it" are very rare, and he and I both saw growing up, but most people are ABLE to make better choices but they just live off the system. (we were in different poor neighborhoods as kids, didn't live near each other until late teens)

Thens there's the other people I met in my 20s...When we were say 25, we were very poor, so of course we ended up hanging out with other poor 20-somethings. But come to find out they didn't come from poor families. A lot of them came from middle class homes, with parents that would have paid for their college, and let them live at home through college, but these kids felt the need to move out and be idiots, because it made them feel cool to live on their own. So they pissed away their 20s working at the mall, not going to college, and partying, and now as we enter our 30s, they are meeting someone and settling down, but they can't affrod kids. So they are getting medicaid and some other various assistance, because they feel its their right to have kids. I've seen this one message boards too. Women say being poor shouldn't stop them from having kids. And that's fine, but just don't do it on my dime! This pisses me off too.

I would like to say that I do know ONE woman who has 7 kids and they get NO government help by choice, not even medicaid. And they are very poor, they would qualify. But she feels its her choice to have a huge family and that she and her husband should be the ones to provide for them. I take my hat off to such a hard working family.

What is wrong with people that don't get that they had the baby, so they need to pay for the child? And I don't even want to hear the word accident, we know how babies are made. I didn't have birth control in my 20s with DH (then my bf) because I had no insurance, so we bought condoms or did other things that didn't lead to babies. Its called being responsible. If your man finishes inside of you, its not an accident. And I'm talking about ones, and these are the kinds of friends I have from my old neighborhood, that don't "like" condoms, "could never remember to take a pill even day", and just have unprotected sex then say it was an accident...

Why does our society reward for laziness? Welfare and medicaid are for hard times not lazy people that can't make responsible decisions. And what happened to Medicaid?? When I was a kid, when mom went on all the welfare fixings, medicaid included and I went to school where I was around peers that weren't all from the poor neighborhood, I NEVER told them I was on it. It was humiliating!! I never told the kids with money we were on welfare, and I hid as best I could where I was from, try to quick, get on the bus going to the poor section of town.

Medicaid is so normal now, people are comfortable to say that they are having kids while on it. Like its an insurance option! Some people don't even think of it as welfare. Like they are entitled to it...no, its still a form of government assistance. If you are on it, and going to Dinsey, getting your hair done, buying $100 jeans, are driving an expensive car, going out to eat regularly ect. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR ENTITELD ATTITUDE AND OF YOUR LIFE! YOU ARE LIVING OFF THE GOVERNMENT WHEN YOU DON'T NEED IT! If you seriously added up all the money you spend on your LUXURY items, you might actually be able to purchase health insurance. Just because you don't actually collect food stamps doesn't mean you are not taking money from tax payers. Those programs are there for people that really need it. You are not one of them.

Are there good people that fall on hard times, of course. I'm not talking about those people. But you know when you are where you are because of no fault of your own or because you are irresponsible and lazy. And its funny but the people that tend to get the angriest at a vent like this, are the lazy ones. If you know that you are on hard times, but you will get through it and this is temporary, then you don't need to prove yourself. But the people that always feel the need to argue...it seems like they are trying to prove that somehow they deserve welfare/medicaid ect despite the fact that they caused this situation and are doing nothing to improve their current life.

ah, I just needed to get this out somewhere. I also need new friends. I don't care what's in your wallet, but if I have to listen to my cousin complain one more time about her medicaid doctor minutes after talking about their weekend vacation (with 3 kids, and one was just born!) and how her mom is "only" filing up her gas tank once this week, and how she is due to have her hair highlighted again...I'M GOING TO LOSE IT ON HER!!!
utexas10 likes this.
January 13th, 2013, 07:45 PM
Super Mommy to be
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,146
well good for you and you're husband for persevering thru hard times to make a good life for yourself!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Phillipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
'Blessings' by Laura Story (What if trials of this life, are your mercies in disguise)
Glorious Ruins
January 16th, 2013, 01:08 PM
MindyRambo's Avatar Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 839
Honestly, you are right about needing new friends. Why are you associating with these people if they disgust you so much? I do get that people use the system, but I feel there are just as many who have fallen on hard times and really need the help.

Condoms fail as well, so you could have possibly found yourself in a situation with an unplanned pregnancy. I don't judge unless this is happening over and over again.

I get how a hard life can make you cynical but try to see the best in people and if there isn't any good in them you feel, cut them out of your life.

Good luck.

You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of stranger, you'll learn things you knew... you never knew.
January 16th, 2013, 05:19 PM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
Ok, YES there are people that abuse the system, but I think you are bringing it to a whole other level. Medicaid is mainly for low income families, but that is NOT all it is for. The cost of health insurance is outrageous when you have a family, especially to include dental and vision. Some families just cant afford it, but they make just under the limit to no longer qualify for medicaid. So they choose medicaid. I was on medicaid when i was pregnant with my son, shortly after his birth i was sent for an unnecessary surgery that could have been corrected with therapy. The surgeon messed up and destroyed my heart, resulting in me getting a pacemaker, which i am fully dependent on. I am 23 years old (will turn 23 in march rather..) and have had my pacemaker for almost 4 years now. I fully feel i deserve to be on medicaid because it was the care providers offered through medicaid that destroyed my heart. I will have a very difficult time finding an insurance provider that will accept me. And my life has been changed severely because of the surgeons mistake, and will be shortened greatly in the long run. You have to realize that yes, there are some people who abuse the system, and they dont ALL get caught, but a good amount of them still do get caught. If your cousin is abusing the system then report it, dont get huffy and complain to all of us about it. DO your due diligence and report her abusing the system. Yes she is family, but honestly, i would report my family if they were abusing it. You are clearly sensitive about things like this, you need to use your experience with the system to HELP correct the issues. If these people you know want to abuse it then go report it. It will be taken care of. Im not saying i disagree WITH you, however i disagree with the way you are going about this. You are looking at all the bad things there are. You need to look at the good things, and then look at the bad things and see if there is a way you can help make the bad into good.
MindyRambo and jennjenn84 like this.

February 4th, 2013, 10:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,090
Wow, I think you took it to another level as well. Yes people do not need to pop out one baby after the next if they can't take care of the kids they have. But really, **** happens. Medical is EXPENSIVE in this country. I think its sickening that we dont have universal healthcare or affordable insurance. I get a shot that is 2000$ alone a month. Adding in all the surgeries and medicines I have... I wouldnt even be able to work 60 hours a week and be able to pay medical alone. That's what's sick... the fact that we don't make health care affordable. I have no qualms with being on medicaid because when you are told you may have brain cancer and cant pay for the simple tests, your view changes. When you cant afford to be healthy you change. I have a BA and can't find work. I work in retail and am lucky to get 10 hours a week lately. So not even 100 bucks a week.... I get maybe 120 bucks a month.

Why do people feel the need to dictate what we DO do with our money if you are on assistance? So, I'm on medicaid, I can't get my hair cut? I cant save up for a vacation? I swear, people think that those on assistance should wear ratty clothes from a thrift shop, drive a clunker or take the bus, never treat themselves to dinner or a night out to the movies or such... you think WE have our noses in the air, but so do you all! I am very appreciative of the help I get with insurance, believe me. My Mom is disabled and gets food stamps, and we are all appreciative of that. My Mom didn't cause her situation as you may think, and neither did I. I prevented my pregnancy, and **** happens. I dont accept child support because it puts my child at risk. I am helping myself along in life but I pretty much can't get ahead until I get a teaching job and can get benefits... but I can tell you now that if I DIDNT get medical help, I wouldn't be able to take care of my kid. I wouldn't be able to work. So.... I will gladly work my 20 hours a week tops, in my ****** job, and take medicaid. Because it's better than dealing with my ex and not being able to parent my child because of the pain I'm in.

You have a very narrow view of assistance... yes people abuse it but a lot don't. It's not cut and dry with those that are on it. And it's pretty sickening to have your nose so high in the air that you look at someone and say "She's on assistance and they are going out to eat for dinner.... HOW DARE THEY!!!" Or "Look at those jeans, they aren't from the thrift shop, they are new.... why are you getting clothes when you are on food stamps?!" Im sorry but that is a horrid way to look at people. It is NOT the people who get clothes or go out to eat that are abusing state aid... the real abuse comes from those lying to get it. Not those who do need it but decide to go out to eat as a treat.
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February 18th, 2013, 12:09 AM
Kiam's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,954
Lots of things seem to bother you, don't they Casey? How people spend their money, whether or not people choose to have children... you know, all those general inflammatory type things that make great online arguments.
February 18th, 2013, 12:39 AM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
You know what Casey I am going to share my story with you since you seem to think that so many people are abusing the system and are all so horrible.

DH and I were on assistance for a year. He was going to school full time and his loans had very little extra for us to live on. We had a 6 month old baby. He donated blood and plasma 2-3 times a month for an extra 50-60 bucks. My ex wouldnt send a penny in support to his son (and four years later he still hasnt sent a penny). We shared a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 other guys who were DH's friends from school. SO imagine this, all 3 of us in a small bedroom, 1 guy in the other bedroom, 2 guys on pull out couches in a living room. Our food stamps was not even enough to feed the 3 of us for a month, we would go 1-2 weeks every month with little to no food, and have to use a food bank. I had had major heart surgery 3 months prior, TWICE. So between my surgery recovery, the baby, and us... we would still go out once a month JUST US TWO for a date night to a movie and a cheap dinner. Or go to the clearance racks and get a new pair of jeans. And you know what? I bet this will press your buttons... we would use our cash assistance for it! When we paid our single phone's bill, our share in power use, and a bit in rent for our room... we would still manage to save about 40 bucks for ourselves. On top of getting diapers and wipes. Now, in your honest opinion, did we abuse the system by allowing ourselves to get a little break away and enjoy ourselves from a hard struggling month? DO others not deserve a chance to do something joyful? You know what to this day I still shop goodwill or clearance and believe me... we can afford WAY better than that. But I enjoy using something others were able to enjoy and cherish. Before DH and i were together, i was in a horrible abusive relationship. And i was still pregnant with my son. it was bad. My ex would steal half our cash assistance for drugs. I had to juggle two minimum wage jobs, we lived in section 8 housing where outside out sanctuary of our tiny apartment there were roaches, needles, used condoms, all over the place. After being in the relationship for over 2 years, when my son was 5 months old i FINALLY made my break and ran like hell. I fled across state lines and moved in with the man I chose to marry. YOU don't know anyone's story. You only know your own. And you in no way are allowed to place yourself as high and mighty above everyone else and judge everyone's situation. You only have the right to judge your own. And based on all the things you have written, you clearly are no saint. Who knows, you could be a very generous person in real life and just let all your anger and frustration our on here. But you know what? They way you choose to do so makes you look like a complete monster in need of some serious help. I don't mean to be overly rude, but its the clear simple truth. You are too judgmental and jaded. Quit searching out the negative and faults in the word around you and learn to see the things of beauty. Because YES the world is full of horrible things but you know what? There are a lot more beautiful things than not. Wake up and see them.

Oh and by the way, I dont have any medical insurance, nor does my husband or my son. And i am fully dependent on a pacemaker. But only because an unnecessary first heart surgery that the surgeon slipped, left me needing a pacemaker. And both surgeries combined were paid for by medicaid, and when they sent me copies of all the bills? It was $154K worth in medical care. And it turned out i never needed the first surgery to begin with. But because i was 18, alone, and thought i could trust my care provided, i did what he told me to do. So every 6 years I will have to pay approx 10K for a new device (since the battery is not replaceable) and about 20K more in surgery and hospital care and recovery. Not to mention they failed to put me into rehab for recovery from the first surgery so i had to struggle to heal on my own, with a baby, with no family, and an ex who would rather beat me, scream at my crying baby, and go out to get high on government money. And i did it ALL by myself.

Last edited by MzzMommaD; February 18th, 2013 at 12:44 AM.
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