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really starting to get annoyed.

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February 19th, 2014, 11:14 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 5 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 957
i have a twin brother that i love to death.

when we were 20, he was still living at home with my mom and abusive crazy ex step father (divorced now, THANK GOD) and hated that the ex step monster was so controlling and over bearing that he wanted to gain some independance, but was worried about a car and a phone, etc. so to help him get out, we added him to our cell phone plan and to make it fair, split the plan itself into thirds (DH, me and him) and i told him any extras added to his line will just be added to his bill. he also didn't like driving the step monsters car, so we took out a loan to get him a truck.

the loan on the truck isn't a big deal, because its in our name at our bank, DH can keep an eye on it, and they automatically withdraw the monthly payments out of bro's account. the cell phone bill on the other hand is different.

our bill is due the 4th of every month. the total bill comes to like $250/mo (we all have iphones and internet and other stuff) and his share comes out to about $75. the original plan, was he would pay us his portion BEFORE to 4th, and we would pay the entire bill. but he never did so we would have to pay the entire amount, then hunt him down for his portion. i've even told him if he wants to pay just his portion online, i would give him the password to the online account so he could. i told him even if he wanted to access the online statements he could do that too. he's always declined. i told him i didn't want to hide anything from him and he could see exactly what all of us are paying

$75 doesn't seem like a lot, but when we're between paychecks and need gas or a few more groceries and short on money, his portion is needed to make those ends meet, and i've tried explaining that to him. he always eventually pays us, but its weeks late.

for this month, DH waited and waited, and finally paid the phone bill on the 1st. about a week before it's due, we text bro to let him know what the total amount was, and what his portion was. then after he pays, he sends another text. then a week later, we have to send another text (can't call him, he never answers). usually a week or so after the due date, he pays. but this month, we've been in constant contact with him about this, and no payment. he recently moved to FL (we live in MN) so he always insists on mailing us a check. i told him that it may be easier for all of us to just transfer the amount from his account into ours (we're still at the same bank). there have been a few months that he is short on money and needs some extra time, but when he says that, we lay off for a week or two. can't make him pay when he doesn't have any money. but it's feb 20th, and he still hasn't paid.

by the time he pays, the next bill will be due! there have been a few months that he hasn't paid at all, but the way our paychecks were scheduled out, we were able to make it just fine without his portion. on feb 6 (thursday) he said that he would put the check in the mail on monday because he didn't get paid until that day. i suggested he just post-date the check because even if he mailed it on thursday, we wouldn't get it until after monday. no response. on monday afternoon (the 10), he said he mailed the check. so we figured about four days for it to come. thursday mail, no check. friday mail, no check. saturday mail, no check. yesterdays mail, no check. i told DH, i don't think he mailed it.

so we came back to him about just transfering the money saying when his check did show up, we would just shred it. he said he would call the bank, and this was yesterday at around noon. as of today, noon, no transfer. i told DH let's just wait it out and see if his check shows up today, and if it does, we'll tell him not to transfer. at no time did he say he didn't have money to pay it. so either he didn't send the check, or he did and it got lost, or (and i doubt) it takes two weeks to mail something from florida to minnesota. i mail things to my grandma in portland, or, all the time and she gets it within 3 (or 4 depending on a sunday or holiday) to get it. i told bro we shouldn't have him send checks anymore because this time of year is when people start stealing mail, hoping tax refund checks or other checks will be there. DH suggesting suspending his line until we get the money. the problem with that is we lose our only communication with him and then i would feel like i have to parent him and punish him if he doesn't pay.

i'm so tired of harassing him to pay his portion of the cell phone bill. he keeps saying he isn't getting paid much at his job, but he doesn't want a new job either. DH and i are seriously considering having him get his own cell phone plan and taking him off ours. i love my brother, but this money stuff DEF ruins things.
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February 22nd, 2014, 11:53 AM
katylady's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 3,446
oh boy! I had a similar situation with my MIL. Ended up just telling her she is going off our account and if she wants to continue with Verizon she would have to go in and give her information.

Hope you figure out a situation that is helpful to all of you.
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February 23rd, 2014, 11:32 AM
MzzMommaD's Avatar Sibe Momma
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kennewick WA
Posts: 1,231
As much as i love my brother, at this point i would remove him from your account. This is very disrespectful to you and your family. It is also a financial burden in times when many people are economically struggling.

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