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negative about this pregnancy

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  • 1 Post By jaclynluc

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April 20th, 2014, 08:47 PM
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2
I am 17 weeks pregnant and feeling more negative then ever. I am 27 years old and this would be my first child. I know I should be excited but im not. I remember my life a few years ago.. I would work two part time jobs, was involved in swimming, tennis, and had a ton of friends. Then last year I decided to get married because I did love him and I still do but I didn't realize how different we are. Honestly I want my old life back. The marriage and the pregnancy are putting a damper on my life. I have huge boobs now which I hate, my belly pops out so I cant fit in any of my summer clothes. Then I think of having this child and after working I wont be able to do tennis or swimming I have to spend a ton of my money on this child and my time. There will be no time for me to spend on me. Ever since I got married my husband is the only friend I have and I miss my friends and my life. It just isn't any fun anymore. The worst part about this is that I feel I will never be able to get my masters degree like I dreamed and have friends again and a fun life. I really don't want to be a mom anymore.

is this normal at all to feel this bothered? my husband wants to have the child and his family is so excited. but again me and him are different. I didn't tell anyone in mine yet.
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April 21st, 2014, 10:55 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 5 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 957
very normal to have pregnancy blues. most people will go through them from time to time.

media portrays a pregnant woman as happy and glowing and excited. and while we may have bouts of that (like when we find out the gender, for most of us anyway) there are many times where we're miserable and unhappy. i don't know a single person who was glowing during morning sickness. right now i had to go out and buy new shoes because i'm almost 33wks and my feet are too swollen to fit into my regular ones.

the thing to focus on is not on everything that may be going wrong, but on what is going right. healthy pregnancy? gender of the baby? start thinking about how you want to raise the baby. will you breast feed? baby wear? what will baby look like? will they grow up and play sports?

if all else fails, start baby shopping. it's exciting to start buying things for the baby, because everything is so cute and little.

if you still can't seem to shake off your feelings, talk to your doctor. hit up coffee or lunch with a friend or close family member to talk it out. remember that just like in life, pregnancy has it's highs and lows, but after this, you will have a cute little human and a new respect for what the female body is capable of.
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April 15th, 2015, 10:47 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 414
u shouldn't of got pregnant then. do you know how many people who have been trying for years would love to be in your position, how could u not want to be a mom? super selfish!!!
Mrs.Black2006 likes this.
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April 17th, 2015, 09:14 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 666
It is normal to feel bummed during pregnancy. I had a rough one and I was not one of those women who glowed or had a cute little bump. I got huge and I hated it. However, strange now I miss it.

I think you are at this point when you are growing up. Kids today are taking so long to grow up because they just play in their 20's and focus on themselves and what they want but that is really selfish. I was there too. I was so super selfish in my 20's but when you have a kid you need to put their needs first. It is hard? Sometimes. Being a mom can be tough but the good will outweigh the bad and you will be a better person for it. It won't be long and you can play tennis with your little one and share all that stuff with them. It will be worth it. Put your heart into your child now. The rest of that stuff is superficial.
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May 23rd, 2015, 09:06 AM
Mrs.Black2006's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 999
Originally Posted by jaclynluc View Post
u shouldn't of got pregnant then. do you know how many people who have been trying for years would love to be in your position, how could u not want to be a mom? super selfish!!!
My feelings exactly!!!!! I'm one of those women that would love to show her baby the love of a mother.
Thank you SSWC maker for my amazing siggy
TTC 7+ years
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May 23rd, 2015, 11:10 AM
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 21
First and foremost there shouldn't be any more negative feelings pushed on her. Saying that she shouldn't have gotten pregnant is just so rude.

It is normal to feel negative especially if you were negative even before you got pregnant. All the extra hormones amplify emotions. I cry at the stupidest things and get angry at my SO for the littlest things. I would suggest finding a hobby to keep you busy, or try to catch up with your friends. If that doesn't help, talk to your doctor, that's what they are there for, he or she may be able to prescribe something for you or give you a referral for counseling. Don't be scared to ask for help when it's there. 😊
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May 26th, 2015, 08:10 AM
rachelc0's Avatar 2 sons, 5 angel babies
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 957
yeah, really. we need to keep it positive and not attack someone because of the feelings they are having. we all have our crazy moments in pregnancy. when I posted my first comment, I was in my third trimester with my third son. in June he was delivered stillborn. I know what it's like to be so thankful to be pregnant (as we are expecting a rainbow baby boy this fall) but I also know what its like to just be sick of of being pregnant. lets support each other, not attack.
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May 30th, 2015, 06:41 PM
ducksaresnazzy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: new york
Posts: 2,479
okay, did she even say this child was unplanned?? she's married and never implied that this was an accidental pregnancy. to assume it is.. is really strange, honestly.

that said, i myself had an unplanned pregnancy and didn't tell anyone until week 13. i HATED myself, my boyfriend.. we were using protection and accidents happen. we made the best of it. and honestly, i didn't feel connected to my daughter until she was 8 months old. i loved her, but she didnt feel "mine". she felt more like a really serious nanny gig i couldn't quit and also had a really lazy partner to deal with. it DOES get better. it may not magically happen when you hear the heartbeat, or when the baby is born, or that first night you guys are alone staring at eachother- all things people told me. but it will. i promise.

if you're still around and need an ear, pm me. i've been there and even if i can't offer advice i'm a good listener.
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June 5th, 2015, 10:36 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 509
I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am currently 28 and had my son when I was 24. I understand how you are feeling about not having a fun life anymore. Trust me, you will. It will just be a different kind of fun. And you will still be able to have the fun adult time. Just need to plan it out. Tell your hubby how you are feeling. I would talk with your doctor as well. Also, do you think you family will be excited? If so, don't wait any longer to tell them. They could help you feel better.

Thank you AlexKatieAiden Mommy for my siggy!!
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June 5th, 2015, 03:47 PM
Mrs.Black2006's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 999
not to mention this was last year right?
Thank you SSWC maker for my amazing siggy
TTC 7+ years
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