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so upset right now...

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September 23rd, 2004, 09:15 AM
pooker's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 592
I am so upset right now. I thank you all for reading...

We have lived in our neighborhood for 5 years now. There are a lot of families our age around us. The neighborhood is great - we have parades for the kids, newsletters, easter egg hunts, craft nights, etc.

The problem is, no one seems to want to be friendly with us. DH doesn't care - he'd rather be by himself. But it bothers me - A LOT. The family behind us has 2 little girls Bailey's age. Bailey LOVES to play with them, but as soon as we go out, they have to go in for a nap. Their neighbors (also behind us), also have some kids her age. But they won't let the kids in our yard. Our very next door neighbors moved in a month before we did, and it was like they had lived there forever - they had so many friends from the street - having cook-outs, etc. 2 doors down from us, the woman has bypassed me to become chummy with the woman behind us. No one ever says, "hey - join us!" I even invited the woman behind us to a get together, and she didn't show - she didn't even bother to tell me she couldn't come. I gave her several weeks, plus my phone number, email, and, well, she could have told me in the yard. You get the idea...

Well, our neighbors - the ones who moved in right before we did - decided to move to be closer to family. We were excited - a chance to meet new people, and to possibly become friendly. They move in today. I went to pick up Bailey from preschool, and when I got home, the new woman was at another neighbors house, chatting up a storm! She probably knows my neighbors better than me, and she hasn't even been here 2 hours! And to top it all off - the people they bought the house from are there, too!

I am SO mad right now! I can't run over there now! I have wanted to move just to get away from these people, but our house is nice, and we got it for a good price. I hate to leave it and the house payment just because of my emotional well-being, but then again, if I'm not happy here, does it matter?

It sounds childish, I know, but I feel like I'm in high school again. I wasn't popular, and I feel as though I'm being left out. I have cried so many times due to this, and I just don't know if I can take it.

I sound horrid, but I am really upset. It just seems as though no one wants to get to know me. I don't want to be pushy, but I am trying so hard to be friendly - but its not working!

ARGH!!! Thank you to anyone who made it this far. I am just at my wits end - emotionally. I can't take it - I have other problems which this just makes it worse. I want out....
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September 23rd, 2004, 09:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
Posts: 1,026
Wow that sounds awful! Is there ANY possiblity that all these people have mutual close friends or have gone to high school together? Do they all share a common interest like Brownie or Girl Scouts...any kind of common denominator? That really sounds strange that grown adults would act like that. I guess it happens....Do you stay at home while the rest of the neighborhood works or vice versa? Most of the families in my neighborhood have high school/college age kids except for a few and those families all have preteen girls. (my son is 3.5) Recently we were walking around the block and found another little boy my sons age so its great. We had to make all the introductions...but he has a playmate on weekends now. My advice is maybe take a walk and go a little further around the neighborhood and maybe meet someone new. I'm sorry to hear of your situation, hopefully their reactions are not intentional. Lots of luck to you!

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September 23rd, 2004, 10:29 AM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
I'm really sorry. I totally understand as I have NO friends. DH and I moved to CO in June and even though I go to the Little Gym with Ty on fridays I feel like the odd man out. That is one of the biggest reasons I even went looking for a mommy website and found this one. I needed some kind of friends even if I could never see them in person.
Is there a bus stop you go to in the morning where you could say "Hey me and DH are having a good bye to summer BBQ everyone is invited?" or go over to the new neighbors anyway maybe with a home made treat and at least introduce yourself and then the ball is in thier court. I hope things turn out better but just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat as you. We havent even had a sitter in about 6-7 months.

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September 23rd, 2004, 11:15 AM
I Heart 4x4
Posts: n/a
Hmm, that seems strange. I'm sorry you have no friends - if it makes you feel any better, I don't either. I've lived in this neighborhood for nearly a year and I don't even know my neighbor's names! LOL ... My only friends are you guys ... hence I'm here so often ...

My heart goes out to ya because I'm in the same boat. I want to go out and meet people but ... it's just not that easy anymore.
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September 23rd, 2004, 11:19 AM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,422
Awwww that bites! What a terrible feeling.

I feel that way too sometimes. My neighbor is very nice and we even used the same daycare, but her husband comes across like such a grouch and I think he must not like us. So it bothers me when he is around when I am chatting with her. I wonder sometimes.

Then there is a new little girl next door who comes out to play while her older brothers watch her. But when her Dad comes out, it's like he calls her in and doesn't want her playing with us. I think it's more of them having to play in the street, but dh and I and the older boys are supervising and watching for cars (we cone off the area). But I wonder too sometimes.

We have some neighbors we don't like either though b/c they are inconsiderate to their neighbors (barking dogs, blocking people's cars in their driveway).

So I guess it evens out.

But I hate that feeling too!!!
~Nicole~ Mom to Anna, age 3!
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September 24th, 2004, 09:08 AM
pooker's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ohio
Posts: 592
to update -

I baked some cookies to take over. Of course, I took what happened next as a bad omen. As I was taking the cookie sheet out of the oven, the corner caught some part of the oven, I lost control of the pan, and dumped gooey cookies all over the inside of the oven. I was NOT happy! How do you clean that? I waited a little while, and started over. I did take some cookies over, and introduced myself, and made a little small talk. Let's hope I'm not ostracized again...LOL!

I guess the best I can do is try...

DH just doesn't understand. He said as long as their dog doesn't poop in our yard, and they don't run 4 wheelers through our yard, he doesn't care. Both of these things happened with the previous neighbors. Of course, the new neighbors dog came over and peed on the kids toys. NICE!

I will keep you posted...

Thanks SO much for the support!
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September 24th, 2004, 01:24 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Good Job taking the first step!

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