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September 26th, 2004, 05:57 PM
I Heart 4x4
Posts: n/a
I am sitting here on the verge of tears.

As most of you know, my husband works full time and goes to school full time, which means on average I spend about 2 waking hours with him a day - if I am lucky. He comes home every night at 11pm (sometimes a little later) and lately I've been so exhausted I'm able to stay awake long enough to feed him and crawl into bed with him and I'm out like a light. We wake up in the morning at 6:30 and he's gone by 7:30am for work, or we'll wake up at 8:30 and he'll be out of the house by 9:30 to go to school.

I miss my husband so much. And it totally sucks ... We are only 3 weeks into an 18 month stretch.

Maybe it's hormones taking control of my body ... maybe it's the exhaustion talking ... I really just don't know. But I feel horrible because when Randy leaves I cry, or my eyes well up and I'm able to fight it off. I know how important school is for Randy, and he obviously can't quit his job. There is no alternative but to "deal with it".

And I'm not dealing with it. Not at all.

I talked to my mom about this and she said "don't you dare tell Randy about this, you'll just make him feel guilty and he'll quit school" which is exactly what would happen, and that's not something that we can do - Randy needs this degree to become a cop, and he wants to become a cop ASAP. Plus, I don't want to burden him more than he already is. Poor guy barely gets any rest these days.

He has a personal day coming up, on October 16th. Danny's birthday is the 14th, but we're going to celebrate it with my parents (who are coming up for the weekend, yay!) so he is taking a planned personal day. I am so excited to have him home for 24 whole hours.

So yeah, that's my whine for the day.
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September 26th, 2004, 07:01 PM
TylerJ1029's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: at my desk
Posts: 27,881
Awww (((((HUGS)))) I feel your pain. There are alot of time I miss Jer and it makes it 10 times worse since he's the only thing I have. I have NO friends and my family is 3,000 miles away. I dont have any advice but keep your head up hon. He's doing it for you and Danny.

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September 27th, 2004, 03:27 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Norhern California
Posts: 2,592
(((Hugs))) I hope it's all those PREGNANCY hormones!

Hang in there!
Proud mom to my little kookaburra, Alden (03/02). #2 due 06/16/05

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September 27th, 2004, 07:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
Posts: 1,026
Just remember that "This too shall pass.." Soon enough, Randy will be done school and only have to be gone his regular 8 hrs. My husband and I deal with the same issues. Currently he works 2 jobs and I work, take care of Ryan, and take classes when I can. It is tough but I just think of the rewards we'll hopefully reap when it's all said and done. (More time together, less financial struggle, ect.) Just keep your head up and try to think positive. Maybe it is partly pregnancy hormones!! Lots of luck and HAPPY vibess to you!

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September 27th, 2004, 11:25 AM
mom2one's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,422
Oh Ashley that is tough, I'm sooo sorry you guys have soo much you have to deal with so soon in your marriage. Hugs and strength for you to get through. It must be sooo hard on all of you, but will pay off in the end!

Sounds like you have a great Mom for support.
~Nicole~ Mom to Anna, age 3!
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September 27th, 2004, 12:59 PM
Posts: n/a
that sounds likeit really sucks i had to deal with that when my babys father and i were like 10 months into our relationship...we moved in together and he worked at a mortgage company, he would work for at least 70 hours a week, sometimes his paycheck would be for 90 hours! its hard i know but good things will come of it! youll see
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September 27th, 2004, 01:46 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
((((HUGS)))) Hang in there!!! I am guessing it is a combination of the preg., lack of sleep. I know it is rough! I went through something similar while I was preg. with DS. DH wasn't around and I had a really hard time which made for a tough pregnancy. So you need to relax and get plenty of rest. I can't believe how much we have in common!

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September 27th, 2004, 02:01 PM
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 875
Oh hon, I feel your pain! When Erik was on shore duty he also worked a second job so that I could go to school and not have to work. Unfortunately, it also meant I never really saw him except on the weekends. Does he have weekends off? I would designate the days he has off as Family Day and head to the park with a picnic or something equally fun, and use those evenings after you've worn the baby out to do something as a couple like order take-out and watch movies you love together. It makes the weekdays go by a lot faster, and it gives all of you something to look forward to on the weekends.
<p align="center">
<span style="color:green">Proud Mom To Kaili and Josalin!
Proud Navy wife to Erik!</span>
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September 28th, 2004, 10:02 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ohio.....I was born in Portsmouth, Virginia.
Posts: 15,494
((((HUGS)))) It will be no time and his schooling will be complete! It will all be worth it in the end! TAKE IT EASY!!!
~ HOST to ~FortySomething {Plus} Mommies~

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September 29th, 2004, 07:07 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New Brunswick Canada
Posts: 1,719
Hang in there, 18 months isn't that long which you will agree when it's over, mind u I know it seems eternal while going through the time.
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September 30th, 2004, 04:05 PM
Posts: n/a

it is hard! My Dh is on 2nd shift, he may as well not be here all the time! So I do understand!

Just keep your chin up and remember you can help Randy through this and yourself also!

(((((((HUGS)))))) :hug2:
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September 30th, 2004, 04:24 PM
Maggie's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 307
(((Ashley))) I totally can relate to how you are feeling lately. I think I told you about my dh's job...how he works all winter grooming the ski area...anyway, at the beginning of every winter, I have the hardest time dealing with his schedule change. In summer we have almost the same schedules, so we see eachother all the time. But around Halloween, until April he works the swing shift. So when I get done with work for the day, he is just leaving for his work day. And he gets home around 4am. He crawls into bed, and I wake up at 7 and leave for work. He sleeps until noon, and then goes to work at 4pm...and I come home at 5pm. Its really hard. Last winter I was in a full depression the whole winter. It did get better, as I got used to being alone...but I sure was lonely! I totally know how you must be feeling right now! It sucks. Just wanted to send you HUGE hugs, and let you know you will make it through this time, and your marriage will get stronger because of it! Hang in there sweetie! ~Maggie
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September 30th, 2004, 04:35 PM
I Heart 4x4
Posts: n/a
Thanks everyone for your kind words! I really appreciate it. It's so tough on me to be alone all day, but thankfully I've got you guys!

Does he have weekends off?[/b]
Unfortuantly no. He has zero days off. He actually has tomorrow off, but that's only because he had to work a full day today and had to miss school. But hey at least I get him all day tomorrow! I think we will go to the park and stuff, after going to the doctor for this stinkin' jaw!
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