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How can anyone be SO dumb

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October 2nd, 2004, 07:29 PM
I Heart 4x4
Posts: n/a

Okay, this friend of mine who's husband has been cheating on her for 6 years. She caught him once 6 years ago (asking his sister for sex or something whack like that) and he swore up and down he'd never do it again.

Well, turns out he had been cheating on her. I have posted about this before. Well, I am so angry with her right now. Her DH has said the worst things to her face - her body disgusts him, she's lousy at sex, she is vindictive, she is a b*tch ....... all this really horrible stuff NO normal man says to a woman he is supposed to love and cherish.

Well, apparently he's "learned the errors of his ways" and doesn't want to divorce anymore and wants to move back in (he had bought an apartment on the beach) and swears up and down that he'll "never do it again".

And she is seriously considering taking him back.

How STUPID can anyone be?

I mean honestly. I have a high respect for vows and marriage and the union of two beings. I value it, I cherish it. If Randy ever did anything to me like what her DH did to her, I would leave him in the blink of an eye.

She fails to realize that once a cheater, always a cheater. Gah! It just makes me soooo mad! She's going to get hurt again, he has done this to her twice. They've been married 20 years!

:soapbox: STUPID!
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October 2nd, 2004, 07:50 PM
Posts: n/a
That is very sad. I am all about working through your problems...but to repeatedly disrespect me by cheating is a non-negotiable. I would dumb his butt in a NY minute!
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October 2nd, 2004, 08:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,663
Well, they say that most women in an abusive situation have to take their abuser back many times before they finally leave for good. (I consider his behavior emotionally abusive) I too believe marriage vows are sacred, but to be hurt over and over....not this girl. It's sad that a woman would let herself be hurt repeatedly. I understand your frustration. It would suck to see a friend get hurt and not be able to do anything about it. I'm very sorry. I hope your friend comes to her senses. ((((HUGS))))

(edited for spelling)
wife to my wonderful husband David since 6/29/02 and mommy to Isabel Jacqueline born 12/31/04

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October 3rd, 2004, 09:07 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boothwyn, PA
Posts: 1,026
No Way! You can never take back hurtful words like that. I hope she gets enough courage and strength to leave him. Hugs to you for having to sit by and watch....I have a friend whose husband is just like that (he has another child by a woman who is 20 yrs his jr and she has a heroin problem and he lives with her during the wk and supports her!) 'He doesn't even drink and my friend is as straight laced as the come. All I can do is be there for her when she's upset and listen to her b*tch @ him. Her therapist won't even talk to her anymore and neither will most of her friends. (this stuff has been going on for pretty much their whole marriage.. Anyway--Lots of luck to your friend. I couldn't deal w/ that!

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October 3rd, 2004, 05:42 PM
in_mommy's Avatar I am just me
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 14,873
I know what you are going through! I have a friend whose man verbally abuses her and no matter how many times they break up because of it, she goes right back to him. The stuff that comes out of his mouth and the threats that he makes is SO wrong, but all I hear from her is "But I love him". I have given up trying, it just makes me so mad to see her keep putting herself in the same situation over and over again.
I don't know what to tell you to do, I don't know myself.
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October 7th, 2004, 11:03 PM
Stephanee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: So. Cal
Posts: 6,200
how sad... i had a friend like that... its sick, how they let one man run their life.. like i told my friend, he keep doing this until he kills her (he was physically abusive as well) they don't learn... i just don't get it!! I hope she gets the help she needs.. and i know you are a good frield ashley and no matter what you will stick by her
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October 9th, 2004, 10:43 PM
Posts: n/a
ITA with blondesprkl...i was in an abusive relationship(verbally mentally physically) as you know ash...and my friend kesha would get sooooooooo upset with me for still going back to him after he cheated, lied, hit me, called me out my name, etc....after we stopped talking for a while (and weve been BEST friends since i we were like 12)...i felt like she was all that i had...i really went into a deep deep depression...all of our fights that resulted in us not talking to each other for more than a day or two was because of him...thank god we starting talking after 2 months....then to come find out we were both preggo at the same time (5 weeks apart) it was wonderful for her to stand by me after that...she says (even said this about a week ago) that shes not going to get so involved in what exactly im doing as far as my relationships go...shes just gonna be there to listen and stop telling me what to do(which usually ends up being the right thing in the end..but i dont see that UNTIL the end)she was even there for both of my sons births even though that guy that she hates was there too...i really APPRECIATE that...she also used to say that one day he was going to kill me....i remember her saying that "love is blind" the song by eve, reminds her of our(me and hers) relationship...its such a really sad song(but an eye opener)....STICK BY HER puhleez...just listen..and if she asks for advice...then give it
HTH anything
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