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I.E.P. plan not what I expected, not happy, scared, confused...

Forum: Children with Special Needs


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May 1st, 2009, 07:12 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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DS "has" been in E.I. since he was practically born for his OT/PT & Speech. When he turn's 3 (this Saturday), he is no longer in the E.I. program, he has to go into the public school program. We've already had a big meeting (DH was present) regarding the "plans" for Cooper, I.E.P. plan. It was to have him continue his OT/PT & Speech therapy. Since there is only 2 mos. left before school ends, instead of sending Cooper there full-time, I decided I would drive Cooper there for his therapy instead, so he can get used to it. I got a call yesterday from the I.E.P. coordinator & she had the "schedule" that Cooper would have. This is my problems.

First off, it starts on Monday, frmo 10:00am-10:30am...for OT, that's it. So I am going to have to drive him all over town for a half an hour? That's a bit dumb, why can't it be a full hour? I can't run any errands, I can't go home, so I'll have to wait in the car or something. I mean, that's dumb. A half an hour?
Then the other day, Wednesdays, he has it from 10-11:30am, much better. At least I can run an errand.

Then I asked about potty training. I've been doing that at home for a few weeks now but Cooper will ONLY go if he is on HIS potty, he look's forward to the sticker/treat rewards for going on the potty. He wont do it w/ out it, in fact, he wont even ask to go on the potty, you have to take him every 30-45 min. I called about that & they told me that they wont have time to bring him on the potty. Then they said that they wont allow his potty chair there, and then they wont do his rewards, they wont have time. ***? So.... let me get this straight. They're NOT going to help w/ Cooper's potty success & let him soil himself b/c they DON'T have time? That's not acceptable to me, not on ANY level. They are going to undo all the progress that I've done by NOT HAVING THE TIME?

I am SOOOOO not okay w/ this. Now what?


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May 1st, 2009, 09:57 AM
~~~Sara~~~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry The potty training thing would flat out piss me off.

As far as his schedule, I could go on and on ranting about the same thing. Some days I drive 45 minutes each way for a 30 minute session. The LEAST I drive is 20-30 minutes one way for his 30 minute PT sessions. It stinks how little services are offered where I live, and at so few times and minimal locations to choose from. I mean there are 500,000 people here, and very few services for SN kids.

About the therapy, I usually stay and watch his therapy, some times I am involved and other times they want me to be out of sight, but I do stay and watch so that I can mimic what the therapists do at home. Do his therapists not want you there? I would have an issue with that!

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May 1st, 2009, 10:42 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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I feel like I sound selfish & controlling but I know how hard Cooper's life has been & how much work I've put into his medical needs up until this point. I am worried that they are going to undo the stuff he has been doing & undo the potty training & make him confused. He's a child that NEEDS structure & routine.

I know I "should be" happy that we're getting help, and even if it's only 30 minutes, I "should be" okay w/ that. But I am not. I have no issues w/ the Wednesday one, that at least I can go & run an errand, go to the bank or drop off something at the post office. No biggie. I definitely wont go home b/c if I do that, once I get settled at home, my 15 mos. old is gonna freak out when I put him BACK in the car, drive BACK to the school, get him out of the car seat again & then put him BACK in the car seat to drive BACK home. That's my biggest thing. I was firm about my DS having therapy in the mornings because my 15 mos. old has a nap schedule that is NOT going to be tampered w/ in any way.

I asked them "what do the parents do for that half hour while the child gets their therapy?" she said that "most parents run errands or wait in the waiting room"... I would love to wait in the waiting room, reading a book or something, but I can't see Teighan (the baby) sitting quietly. He'll get antsy. He's only a toddler/baby.

I wish I could go in & watch what they do w/ Cooper, honestly, I don't trust them w/ Cooper. I don't trust ANYONE that I don't know w/ Cooper, these are all new therapists & I don't know them, Cooper doesn't know them, if I am uncomfortable w/ them, then how is Cooper going to be okay w/ them? What if they mistreat him?

Then again, the potty training thing. In order to train "any" child...you have to be consistent. With a SN child, you REALLY have to be consistent. Now what? I really feel like they are making me transition my DS w/ out feeling comfortable & I don't like this. I don't know what to do.

This whole thing is making me stressed out big time. I am not ready for this. Come September, they want Cooper in a "REGULAR" pre-k class & have the PT, OT & Speech therapists take him out of the pre-k class to do their work. He'd be in the regular pre-k class for approximately 1 hour at best total for his 3 half days at the school. The rest is all therapy. But again, I am uncomfortable w/ this 100% b/c I don't know them & Cooper is not going to come home & say "mom, someone hurt me" he's not. He's not developed enough to do that. Even now when my older boys are rough w/ him, he'll say "don't hurt me"...but if you ask Cooper what is wrong or what happened, he can't tell you. All he says is "hurt" and then either Da-Nick for Dominic etc. (I have 3 other kids)... so I have no clue what happened even in my house. What if these "therapists" aren't nice to him? What if they get frustrated w/ him & call him names or hurt him? I wont know. I don't like that I can't know. I remember when my other kids were 3, they were at such a different place, they way they communicated, how they were able to do things, Cooper is not one of those kids, he's smart, doing way better than the doctors EVER anticipated, but still, not where I feel good about this.

I think I need to pull him out or something. I don't know anymore. I really don't. I left a v/mail for the lady in charge who called me w/ the info & asked that she return my call ASAP, they said she would call me back by tomorrow (today)...it's almost 1pm & nothing. Monday "was suppose" to be his first day, but he has a doctor's apt for his shots & check-up at 10am, so he's not going. I am not okay w/ sending him until I know for a fact that they are going to follow my potty training routine to the EXACT level that I do at home. If they aren't, then they are not suitable for Cooper I guess.


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May 1st, 2009, 01:37 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry thigs aren't going well with the school.

We looked into having Melanie do her ST through the school district and they decided to put her in SDC preschool. I liked the preschool itself but felt that the 4 hours she was going to be there every day did nothing compared to what we were doing with her at home. I mean the schedule had her doing 30 minutes ST each day, with the rest of the day being pretty much "free play" and she can do SO MUCH more at home. And their plan was a 3 yr plan, having her in SDC for 3 yrs before re-evaluating her. I felt strongly that there was more benefit with her staying home, working on speech at home and through a ST that our ped referred us to. She has come a long way, especially now that we know what the problem was (she had so much pressure in her ears that she couldn't hear properly, it was like hearing through water) and have been working towards resolving it.
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May 1st, 2009, 02:02 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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That's what they want him to do in September.... do a few PT/OT & Speech sessions but the rest be "play time"... okay, great for socializing I suppose, but I can do a play date on my own thanks. I don't need to send my 3 year old to a school w/ a bunch of germs & colds when he can be safe at home. There is no need for that/this.

It's ironic that you mention hearing under water, Cooper is that way w/ his hearing loss now too. He's better than he was when he was born, which was completely deaf, no hearing at all. But it's still an issue, hence the speech therapy.

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May 1st, 2009, 03:51 PM
Ditzzy's Avatar Stupid Lamb;)
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Christian's ST and OT are each 30 mins too. They are also a half hour away. It's at a children's satallite office. Ava goes with me sometimes and she's happy as can be. I just take some toys. We go at the same time every week, so I've become friends with some of the other parents.

He has therapy through the school also (he's in preschool and goes 3 hrs a day), but I don't go. He does have an IEP through the school.

As far as potty traing, I'd call and complain. They should have more than enough time to help him.

Thank you, tasha_mae, for my siggy!
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