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Vent, worried-OT

Forum: Children with Special Needs


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May 22nd, 2009, 09:14 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Please don't judge and please read all the way through if you think about judging. LOL

We've been through part of this before when we used my dad's car when we were visiting. We called the car insurance company and they said that we had 30 days after buying a car to get insurance for it if we already had insurance on another car. I've heard this many times before, too, so we were using this cushion right now. My sister moved across the country a little over a month ago. Her insurance expired May 2, I think. My husband started driving the car, my sister said we could buy it from her, so we're in the process of getting everything signed, etc. It's not official. She's done with the car, it's ours, but with having Milo in and out lately, DH not being able to take weekday work off (no paid days off there and the company is in transition and we can't afford to "upset" anyone by taking a day off), and having requested the paperwork and not having received it, we don't have it all official. So, we don't have a bill of sale notarized, and we haven't purchased additional insurance because we're using the 30 day thing, and the title is still in my sister's name. The tag is current, but again, in my sister's name. She just gave it to us, so there's not even an exchange of money.

So, my husband gets pulled over this morning for speeding. I can't even imagine where he would have been or how fast he must have been going to get pulled over. We're passed everywhere we go because we go the speed limit and no one else around here does! He didn't have proof of insurance-we were just issued the new cards for our car, so we haven't put the proof of other insurance in my sister's car yet! I have no idea what's going to happen. We soooo can't afford the ticket. Honestly, we can't afford the insurance on the other car, but DH's carpool fell through. We needed the carpool because we were having to get up at 5 every morning to fight the traffic to take him to work on days when Milo had a doctor's appt, which is nearly every day! We were wasting gas and energy. This whole getting up at 5 thing comes after going to bed at 1-3 because of everything we have to do for Milo's bedtime routine, then wake up to do breathing treatments.

The sad part is, we were thinking about going back to that schedule because we know that we can't afford the car insurance. We were going to finish out the 30 days, then get rid of it. I haven't talked to DH, so I don't know how high the tickets are.

It's really not irresponsibility-we really are working within the insurance policy, but we haven't had anything notarized yet. Ugh.

This is making me feel really guilty. We went to the beach this past weekend. Since Kannon was born, DH and I have had one night-we went to the dollar theater for his birthday last year. That was in August. So, in 2 years 8.5 months, one date, and we rushed there and back because my grandparents watched both kids. Milo didn't get fed. We've not taken any family vacations. In Montana, we had relatives visit right after Kannon was born, took them around the area. Right before Kannon turned one, same thing. Then, this past Christmas, we took a day trip to see a Christmas parade on the river. Other than that, we've stayed within a few miles of our house. In Montana, we simply didn't have the money, we lived in the middle of nowhere on a crappy horse ranch (we couldn't even go outside there), moved here, and have been in the hospital or at home playing nurse/doctor. The beach trip was sort of a combined anniversary/Mother's Day/birthday gift from the in-laws. I found a way to spend $280 for EVERYTHING-condo, gas, food, everything. But now, even though that was a gift, I feel guilty about it. We do everything free here because we can't afford anything else. Now, I wish I had the $280 to cover the tickets and for DH to take the day off of work to go get all of this paperwork done.

Sorry. I'm really not whining. I'm frustrated and worried. We'll argue the ticket, and there's a 60% chance it will work, but DH will have to take the day off. We just can't afford it.

I hate money.

Last edited by iamkc; May 22nd, 2009 at 09:19 AM.
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May 22nd, 2009, 09:52 AM
Ditzzy's Avatar Stupid Lamb;)
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Wow, hon. I know if you can't show proof of insurance at the time of being pulled over, they'll let you bring your card in to the police station to verify. I'd take your card in.

I'm really sorry I don't have any other advice. I'm certainly not going to judge you, though! ((Hugs)), KUP

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May 22nd, 2009, 10:05 AM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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LOL-this sounds like such a pity party. It's not-more like a panic party, I guess! I just hate feeling guilty about doing *anything* that's not absolutely necessary. And I hate that DH doesn't always know details, so who knows what he told the cop? If they'll let us bring proof of insurance to the station after hours, maybe it will be ok. Still have to pay the speeding fine, I'm sure.

I'm picturing him speeding, though, and I just can't figure it out! The highway to get there is 55 mph, and it's at a total crawl every morning! I imagine that he must have been driving the median or shoulder at 65, and I know that's not the case!

Sorry to have rambled so much. I think that I've been feeling guilty about the trip, have been trying SO hard to get all of this car stuff pulled together, and they converged.

Thank you for letting me get it off my chest!
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May 22nd, 2009, 11:51 AM
stacyp's Avatar Mommy to Andrew & Luke
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((HUGS)) I agree, take the insurance card in. ((HUGS HUGS HUGS))

Thanks Yvonne (Jaidynsmum) for my beautiful siggy!

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May 22nd, 2009, 01:26 PM
iamkc's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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*giggle* I shouldn't laugh, BUT...I think that DH was like a little kid waiting for his parents at the principal's office. When he called, I didn't even get a chance to say hi. He just started in explaining everything. I wasn't mad, so much as worried. This is his 2nd speeding ticket in 5 years for the same thing-following traffic. He tried and tried to defend it the first time, but now, I think he gets it.

The officer COULD have been a jerk and could have made us take the day, take everything to the courthouse, etc., but he believed DH when he explained it (we're well within the law), and let DH off with just a speeding ticket. (Plus, it may have been WAY complicated because of the title, bill of sale, my sister living across the country, 30-day insurance, insurance on another car, and more. Luckily, WE can keep it straight! LOL) Still not happy about the ticket, but glad that we don't have to go through the extra hassle and possible grumpy judge who'd fine us, anyway.

Relieved. Sorry to have vented. I'm just feeling too guilty, stressed, and overwhelmed lately. I didn't want to deal with this on top of it all!
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May 22nd, 2009, 02:07 PM
Tara0906's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ugh.. that stinks. I hope you can get things worked out!

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May 22nd, 2009, 05:28 PM
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I'm so glad its just the speeding ticket, i hate that you have to pay even that, but speaking from experience it could have been so much worse.

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