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Forum: Children with Special Needs


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October 24th, 2009, 07:23 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
go to the ongoing appointments? I don't mean b/c you don't want to help the child(ren) but sometimes I feel like I just want to be "mom" to my kids, and not a maid & nurse. Although I can understand the "welcome to Holland" story, I still don't feel like it makes it all better & that I'm suppose to be happy b/c of a story written by someone I don't know.

I know I have to do the apts., I realize that it's critical for my DS' therapy, but why every week, and sometimes multiple times during the day? It's just so hard b/c I feel like I can't say "no" but I also feel burned out.

I just want to tell people "I need a break this week"...but I get attitude & questions "why isn't this working for you? do you have other appointments?" aside from it NOT being their business, yeah... I have to clean, eat, and wake up, I can't be non-stop b/c they assume that THEY are the only therapists that I deal w/ all the time. I see 8 different therapists & doc's for Cooper, 4 for Teighan, 3 for Dominic & it's just a lot, that doesn't include mine... I don't even want to count the doc's I see. You put that all together, and you have a non-stop daily apts for medical treatment.

I don't not want the help from the clinics & therapists, I just want some "space" & respect that space w/ out trying to make me feel badly.

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October 24th, 2009, 07:46 PM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 42,367
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I've so been there. This last IFSP when we upped some frequencies and added another weekly therapy, I was just like - god - will it ever end? We've had weeks with therapies or appointments every day, multiple times a day, etc, and it's just exhausting. I'm sorry you get attitude and they don't understand they aren't the only ones you deal with; I'm lucky that all of Danny's therapists get that he is seeing lots of people, and understand that's hard on us.

The NICU follow ups are the worst to me. I feel like I have no choice about then, but they feel so ... useless. Like a total waste of time and effort, they are so long, the therapists don't know my son and then make judgments based on seeing him for a half hour, after he has been waiting over an hour to be seen... It just feels ridiculous to me. Maybe if Danny was a more "normal" NICU grad and wasn't being followed by 3 therapists and a team of specialists, and it was the only thing he ever did I'd understand. But really? Can't they just, I don't know, release him to his individual therapists or something?

You are so right that the Holland story doesn't make it all better. For me, it just makes me feel less alone. It certainly doesn't make me happy, just less sad, I guess?

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October 25th, 2009, 12:39 PM
Tara0906's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 4,459
I have felt like that so many times. There were days when I just wanted to be a SAHM and do the things other SAHMs did. Cook, Clean, Go to the park..... its hard.

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October 26th, 2009, 08:44 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,671
absolutely, and if his therapist dont understand, screw em. There have been many times in the last 4 years that I have just called and canceled everything for the week and just stayed at home with my boys in our jammies. No matter what is going on sometimes we all need to just enjoy our babies. doesnt make you a bad mom, doesnt mean you arent helping your kids, just means everyone deserves a break. and my thinking is that if you are burnt out the kids were burnt out 2 weeks ago.

and I agree with Kel, the welcome to holland story doesnt make me feel happy, just reminds me that other deal with it too, and that my kids are still kids, and that i have to always remember to let them be that too

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October 27th, 2009, 01:38 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Virginia Beach ,VA
Posts: 3,789
I am just getting thrown into the pool of appts ,but i already have the feeling that i will feel the same as you.Sometimes you just have to take a break from the world and to take care of yourself and your kids. I hope you are feeling better

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October 27th, 2009, 10:30 PM
~~~Sara~~~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: So. California
Posts: 5,770
I feel like that often and we take a break for a week, about once every 3 months, it feels great!! I do a lot of therapy with Carter at home anyway, I know I am not professionally trained, but it's not like at therapy is the only place he gets therapy anyway.

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