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Am I crazy??!! (really long...lots of venting)

Forum: Children with Special Needs


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March 2nd, 2011, 01:19 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
So I just got home from the 3rd iep meeting in less than 2 months. I'm so angry and confused right now I think my head is gonna explode! (sorry this is a long story)

Ellie's gonna start kindergarten in the fall and I want very much to send her to the private school her sisters are attending. The school is very supportive and willing to make the necessary accomidations for her but they're looking for me to take the lead in creating her service plan and I have no idea where to start.
So...I went to her preschool and asked for some advice from her iep team. The first time I brought it up I swear everyone in the room looked at me like I have two heads! Iwas practically laughed out of the building! Is the idea of a special needs kid in private school really that absurd?!?!

I've given up on getting their support but the private school asked for teacher recomendations (they ask everyone) and specifically in our case, a recomendation from the school psycologist who really dragged her feet. They finally sent their opinions to the private school and I went in today so we could discuss what they said. Here's where things really get crazy.....

The psycologist informed me today that she feels Ellie has not made enough progress this year towards her IEP goals and she recomends another year of preschool. WHAT??!!! You're telling me this NOW??!!
I have no idea what she's basing this opinion on. Ellie's already reading. I know she needs to work on her social and self help skills but she doesn't need another year of preschool.
Then she had the nerve to tell me that "Almost all kids with CP have learning disabilities. The private school won't be able to support her needs." REALLY???!!!!
First of all, she's never visited the private school (dispite several invitations) so how would she know??!! Second... Has she met my kid??!!! Did I mention Ellie's already reading? ARGH!!!

As angry as I am about all this, it has succeeded in making me doubt my decisions. What if I can't get Ellie the support she needs in the private school?? Why would the preschool be so adimately against this if they didn't have a good reason? If she does go to the private school, she'll be the only kid in the entire school (k-12) with a noticable disability. Is that going to hurt her socially?
If I don't send her to the private school, I'm certainly not going to send her back to the preschool. I just don't know what to do anymore.
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March 3rd, 2011, 08:32 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 41,401
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well firs tyou need to breath!!! you have a lot on your plate!
As far as sn in private school. Yes some kids with sn will go to a private school. But from what I have gathered not all have the needed facilities to handle some kids. Like therapies ect you might be able to get at a public school.
I don't know what special help Ellie needs so not sure whether a private would be fine with her or not. But if the school can provide all she needs then, send her where you want.
This might be far fetched but puclic schools get extra grant money with each SN child they have, maybe they don't want you to leave because of money. Hate to say that but its possible. Maybe they really have your childs best interest at heart, I don't know. sorry not any help huh?

As far as keeping her in pre-k or advancing, is a personal decision, if she is academically ready great, but is she socially and emotionally ready for k.? That is a factor as well. However, not everyone goes to pre-k in tehfirst place so if it were me, knowing the little i know about your child, I would put her in Kindergarten, and decide whether repeating Kindergarten or moving up to 1st grade when that time comes.

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March 3rd, 2011, 03:57 PM
Ditzzy's Avatar Stupid Lamb;)
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What a mess. I'd be uspet too. Take a deep breath, hon. ((Hugs)) I'd think about the options. Take a few days and get a clear head. I'm sorry.

Thank you, tasha_mae, for my siggy!
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March 3rd, 2011, 09:55 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
Thanks. I'm really working on that whole breathing thing.
The admissions director called me today to tell me how suprised she was by the psycologist's recomendation. (which actually made me feel a little better) She said she called the psycologist to get some clarification and hasn't heard back yet. (big suprise there)
Anyway, they're holding a spot for Ellie until the end of the month while we figure all this out. They are really going out of the way to do this for us because they have plenty of kids on their wait list. So now I'm feeling the pressure to make a decision quickly.
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March 6th, 2011, 07:49 PM
C&K'sMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,150
First I'd absolutely switch her and put her in kinder. That's just MY personal opinion, but the school she's in now doesn't seem to really even try to meet her needs. It's not like you can't switch her back if you feel like the private school is lacking in some way, but since they're telling you that they're willing to make the accommodation (when they could easily say, "nope we can't do it").

I know you had the issue of them feeding her food that she wasn't supposed to have, now you have the issue of finding out VERY last minute that they want her to repeat pre-k. This current school doesn't seem to be really on your "team" if that makes sense. I'd send her to the private kinder and if they feel she should be held back, I'd repeat kinder not pre-k.

I'd LOVE the chance to be a leader in making DD's service plan. I know it's not for everyone, but I feel the one we have is severely lacking!

"Disability is not a brave struggle or ‘courage in the face of adversity.’ Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live."
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March 6th, 2011, 11:54 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
I think it was Breea that had the feeding issues. We haven't had to deal with that thankfully but we've certainly had other problems. Like the lead teacher being on maternity leave since Dec. and they still haven't found a permanent replacement for her. (Not a good thing for a kid with serious trust issues!)
So we're definitely NOT repeating Pre k. And she won't be going to public school next year. I've had it!
I've been thinking a lot about homeschooling. It scares me but it might be the best thing for her. Still hoping we can make things work with the private school. Right now the biggest issue is figuring out wether or not she really needs a full time one on one aide. (and then finding one)
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March 7th, 2011, 05:33 AM
breea's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: 46350
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Yes that was me lol man that sucks and this kind of thing scares the poop out of me. What about the whole no child left behind? My son is 10 has ADHD, oral-motor Apraxia and is dyslexic. He failed his I-Steps last year and the past him even though is is no where close to hitting hie IEP goals. Something sounds fishy to me.

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