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Forum: Children with Special Needs


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June 4th, 2011, 05:43 PM
C&K'sMama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 6,150
1. Ok long story on our doctor and I know it's not helping my mood, but seriously Carrie has never been so obstinate. I love my child I really do, but she knows how to push my buttons and if I say it anywhere else I know I'll be crucified cause of her condition. I don't know what the hell is going on with her. She used to listen really well. I don't think it's regression. I really think it's her acting up (by refusing to act at all). She's always been really good when I tell her to do things and now she just sits and stares at me. I KNOW she knows what I'm saying and what to do, but she just WON'T. I'm not going to let her get away with it, because I wouldn't let Katie get away with it and I'm not going to treat them differently. It's things like if Katie spots Carrie's cup and grabs it, Carrie will say "eh eh" and reach for it and look at me. I do NOT think so. She is perfectly capable of going to get it and I HATE the "eh eh". She has words. She knows "help" and "cup" and can verbally say "mine" there is no reason for the "eh" crap that she learned at that last e f f i n g school she was at. I'll tell her to come lay down so I can change her diaper (which she has been able to follow that direction for over a year), I know she knows what I'm saying, but she just sits there and looks at me. She gets mad cause she's hungry. I make her favorite dinner. She says she wants up into the chair and screams when I start to put her in it. Seriously I'm at my wits end some days. I want to pull my hair out. I, of course, make many exceptions because she's special, but I'm not going to have her act like an invalid when she isn't. She's always been really good and now she refuses to listen to ANYTHING. I hate this. Her only discipline is to be put in her room with the door shut and I warn her "if you don't come here, you're going to go to your room", she knows what it means but she still doesn't listen. When I'm taking her to her room, she cries, so it's not like she wants to be put there. It's seriously where she's spending most of the day in her time outs. I don't know what to do anymore. There is such a huge communication barrier, that I can't find out why and indulging it is going to set her back SO far, but I hate that she's ALWAYS in trouble for stupid things that she KNOWS better than to do. She was fine a week ago, so I have no reason to think it's the move or stress. She just being awful for no reason (and yes, this is awful for her).

2. As for the doctor thing. We have Tricare. We enrolled. They handed us a book and said "pick one" so I did. We went to that doctor for our appointment and get a call several days later that they can't put in any of Carrie's referrals because of network issues... long technical reasons that I get, but it's infuriating... anyways. I was assigned a different provider. We had to start over, schedule another appt, wait for it, etc. I need 9 referrals between the two kids. It's been over 2 weeks. I've only been called about 2 of the referrals to be told that they were put in (and of the 9 they're seriously the LEAST important ones).... well I get the authorization in the mail and the referrals have been put in under the wrong child. The ones that have been entered are under the baby's name!! I don't know what to do. If I change doctors, I have to wait until they can get us in (not soon) but if I call and yell at our current doctor, we'll end up waiting weeks again. I've been told as school gets out the waiting lists get longer for PT, OT, and ST meaning there is a good chance Carrie's will be without ANY for of therapy for MONTHS. I'm so angry. Carrie was making HUGE progress in PT when we moved and now I feel like that window will be closed by the time we get in.

Seriously I'm so stressed over the two situations, I cry most days. I mean my husband is deployed, so I have no help and this e f f i n g move has cost my daughter therapies for months. Tricare and our hospital have done nothing but screw us over since I moved here and I'm just sick of having to yell at people and do this all myself.

"Disability is not a brave struggle or ‘courage in the face of adversity.’ Disability is an art. It’s an ingenious way to live."
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June 5th, 2011, 07:42 AM
greenchild's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 15,839
I'm so sorry, that all stinks!!!!!

I wonder if Carrie is going thru the developmental terrible twos?? not necessarily tantrums . . . but basically trying to control the situation. Kaiden did the same thing for awhile - words and phrases that he's been following for months all of a sudden he just stopped and would only look at me, or not even that much . . . frustrating!! But we didn't let him get away with it, he had to make (even if it was tiny) SOME effort instead of just sitting there, to get what he wanted. Eventually he got over it and went back to responding.
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June 9th, 2011, 08:19 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953

Second, I was going to say the same thing about it maybe being the terrible two's. Or what my friends and I used to call the furious fours. Meagan went through a similar phase at that age. Only she would actually say "I'm ignoring you Mamma!" or make this whiny noise and just look at me like I'm supposed to read her mind instead of asking me for help or telling me what she wanted.
Also I wouldn't discount the possibility that it is related to the move. I know it's not really the same thing but when Ellie first came home with us we were warned repeatedly to expect really good behavior at first and then to "watch out because she'll be testing limits every chance she gets."
Carrie may just now be realizing that this is the new normal and she doesn't like it. It's a new place so she's testing for new boudaries.

Don't give in to it. Be consistent. Be patient. (I know its easier said than done. Sorry.)
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