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Do people understand why you want a vbac?

Forum: VBAC: Vaginal Birth After a Caesarean


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November 5th, 2013, 02:10 PM
pattyandthemoos's Avatar Administrator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 61,858
Do people in your life understand why you want to have a vbac? What about your dh?

My sister was really the only person who understood why I didn't want to just have another csection. Dh is always supportive of whatever I want to do, but he didn't really care if I had another csection either. I don't think he ever really understood my feelings. Fortunately, I've always gotten a lot of support on JM so that has helped me. But the people in my life have never really understood.

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November 5th, 2013, 04:44 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
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My DH was literally the only person who understood. Especially with twins, if I mentioned a VBAC they thought I was completely insane. Eventually I got tired of the comments and just played along with the "oh you are having twins...that's an automatic c-section" game. I'm glad I stuck to what I wanted and that the babies cooperated...it was amazing!

Melissa & DH
IVF babies Claire (5), Abigail (3) and George (3)

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November 5th, 2013, 09:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,398
DH is supportive after I showed him the statistics. He would also support me if I chose a rcs. I've hashed out all my reasons for wanting to avoid one this time around and he doesn't really fully understand why. As long as it's clear this choice will not hurt the baby, he's ok with it.

My parents and his parents though don't get it at all. They all think I'm nuts. My mom and his mom both had csections for all their kids and never really had any major disappointment to work through. They both just felt like they gave birth. My mom doesn't believe the facts and statistics regarding vbac vs rcs that I've shared with her over the months since I found out I'm pregnant so I try real hard not to bring it up. When she asks me about it, I just give her some vague, beat around the bush answer because I know she won't get it. DH's parents pretty much feel the same. In fact, FIL believes csection is the easier option! They will not be allowed anywhere near me when I go into labor unless they can all keep their mouths shut.
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.

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November 6th, 2013, 08:39 AM
melaniek85's Avatar Frankie and Ronin's mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: York, pa
Posts: 4,235
My family and dh understand I want to attempt a vbac and are supportive but still don't really get it. My mom had two c sections, so she's all for them and thinks it easier. Dh supports me but doesn't think a c section is a big deal and doesn't understand why it matters how I give birth as long as baby is healthy. The understand the reasons like I want easier recovery, want to be able to care for our toddler and newborn quicker, want a shorter hosp stay but none of them understand the emotionl reasons at all.
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April 25th, 2014, 07:27 AM
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 47
My DH was supportive and so was my doctor. However, many didn't get why i would not just get a planned c section.

After the disastrous one I had, i feel like some people are like "told you you should have had a planned one"

Oh well, i don't regret trying it. I loved the experience (everything up to the disaster) and feel like i still made the right choice. At least I did absolutely everything I could to avoid another c section.
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