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Forum: Trying to Conceive 1 Year +


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April 30th, 2008, 08:14 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lucasville, Ohio
Posts: 7,647
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Hi My name is Tabitha, you may call me Tabby or Tab, it's what most people call me. I am 27(as of 3/26/09) years old and married to my best friend, Ryan who is 28. We have been married for 5 years(4/17/04) and have tried for just as long to have a baby. I am a certified photographer and run my own business doing so. I hope to be going back to college soon to obtain a bachelor's in Fine Arts with a Concentration in photography and maybe graphic design. Ryan works for North American Industrial, they do a lot of things such as hydroblasting, abrasive blasting, explosives de-slagging, etc. He drives a vacuum truck. We have two dogs(Milo and Penny Sue) and a cat(Otis.) I will start by posting my story, sit back and hold on because it's a long read!

Me & DH

Our Furbabies

Milo & Penny




Ryan and I met online in a local chat room via mIRC in 2001. At the time I had a boyfriend so it was strictly just a friendship. I never even knew his last name until much later. We had actually lost contact for a while until my boyfriend and I broke up in early 2002. On July 3rd '02, he was online and I saw him so I thought I would send him a message to catch up. I told him of the breakup and he offered an ear to talk to and gave me his number and said to call him the next day if I weren't busy.

The next morning when I woke up and I remember debating whether to call him or not. When I finally worked up the nerve I called and he answered. I instantly loved his voice! We discussed several different things including our plans for that evening since it was July 4th. My family and I were going onto my uncle's boat on the river to watch the fireworks. I actually invited him but he had other plans so we talked about possibly hanging out later that week. We didn't speak for a couple of days and then he called one night and said he was working near my house and that if I wanted to I could come meet him.

At the time he worked for Pepsi as a Merchandiser and was in a grocery store about 5 minutes away. I was so nervous that I took my brother with me. I ended up spending 50 bucks on pop that night LOL!! I remember him introducing himself and I just got lost in his big brown eyes. The world LITERALLY stood still. I couldn't believe how fast I fell for him. I was there for about 10 minutes but it seemed like we had known each other forever so the nerves melted away quickly. Later that night, he told me how he thought I was beautiful and that I smelled amazing. Every now and then I will put that perfume on and he recognizes it. It's like reliving the moment over and over again each time. Anyway, weeks went by and on July 19th we had our 3rd date. On the way home he asked him in his truck to "be his girl" and we were completely inseparable from then. I don't think there was a moment we weren't with each other from the time he was off work until the moment he went home to get some rest. There were very late nights and our "Summer Love" evolved. =)

Nearly 5 months later on Christmas eve '02 he proposed and we were married almost 2 years later on April 17, 2004. We decided to try for children right away. I had been on birth control for my cycles(thanks to PCOS) but quit taking it soon after he proposed, I don't really know the reason. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 so I guess I was just totally over taking birth control for so long. That and I was having problems with my OB at the time and didn't go to an OB until June of 06(my appointment before that being somewhere around Spring of 03.) That's a WHOLE other story!! Anyway, when we were married and decided to try right away we were ecstatic. We never dreamed it would take so long. In the beginning we just didn't prevent because I guess we thought it would happen right away. I was so disappointed every month and have built up a pretty thick skin because of it. In June of 06 I miscarried at almost 8 weeks. We didn't even know that I was pregnant and that was just devastating. My cousin became pregnant at the exact same time(our due dates were 2.5 weeks apart) only now she has a beautiful 1 year old baby girl, Zoe.

It was so hard to see her being pregnant knowing that I was going to be without mine. I didn't see how that was fair. She had just graduated high school and was now single. It felt like my world was caving in. Here we were married for 2 and a half years and trying for just as long to have a baby that we could love so much and take care of, given the opportunity only to have it ripped from us and I had to see my cousin who was barely even into the "real world" and she'd be experiencing everything we have been working so hard for before me. My feelings were this way for quite some time. I became very jealous and depressed. Looking back, I feel so guilty for being this way because we were always so close growing up. She was always the little sister that I never had.

I love Zoe like she's my niece and I love to watch Ryan with her. I know that someday he is going to be such a wonderful daddy. In a way, Samantha having her helped. It's still tough wanting it so bad but having someone to spoil and love so much really helps that empty spot. You girls may end up seeing lots of photos of her as a result of my love for her.

Soon after my miscarriage, I started seeing a new OB who is my current one. He had me start charting. I did that for 3 months and went back to see him. He put me on clomid 50mg and I had a chemical my first round. My second round it hardly did anything and so he upped it to 100mg. I had to be taken off because I was getting cysts really bad. I waited and waited for him to refer me to an RE and so here we are 4 years later and hoping to get answers really soon. I have had my levels tested; 17 different tests including thyroid, testosterone, LH, FSH, etc. etc. All seemed to be within normal levels excluding my testosterone levels. It's definitely my PCOS causing problems but my doctor refuses to give me Metformin because my liver levels were a tad over. boo!!

Recently I had an appointment with him and stood my ground. I said I was tired of trying and nothing happening that I was sick of my body and I wanted to take charge. He gave me a choice of BCP for 6 months or a trip to the RE so I took the RE.


A few days ago I thought we had actually finally made it but my BFP ended up being a false. I had blood work and it was negative and I am very confused as to why I would get what clearly was a positive especially because it had color and everything. Because of several different reasons, DH and I have decided to wait for a few months(Aug-Sep) to start actively trying. I am going to spend these months charting and trying to get my hormones under control with natural progesterone. I have been reading a lot about it lately and hope that it can control my PCOS. I guess that's all for now!

Last edited by tabbymichelle; March 9th, 2009 at 08:32 PM. Reason: fixing some things that didn't transfer over right.
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September 5th, 2008, 02:36 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lucasville, Ohio
Posts: 7,647
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September 5, 2008

Months back we had a consult but it wasn't with the RE it was with his office and they set up an appointment for me to see the doctor and have bloodwork but DH got laid off so we put it off and took a break for 6 months.. I decided recently to call the RE and talk to them about my situation since we still don't have insurance as we are waiting to hear about a job with the Railroad that Ryan applied to. They were so nice about it and said that it wouldn't be a problem and they'd work with us. So here we are now and we have an appointment with the RE on September 10th!! I am anxious to see the RE and get my levels checked. It will be fun to compare them to July 07s results! I am not sure what to expect but I can't wait!

Last edited by tabbymichelle; March 9th, 2009 at 08:32 PM.
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March 9th, 2009, 08:38 PM
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Lucasville, Ohio
Posts: 7,647
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March 9, 2009

I haven't posted to this thing in quite a bit! Since I last posted we've basically been at a stand still with TTC. I was put on BCP to help with my PCOS. We're hoping to go back to the RE again really soon. I have also since found out that I am going to be an aunt! Ryan's sister is going to have a baby boy, Owen Christopher and he's due the day after our anniversary, April 18th! We're very excited about being an Aunt and Uncle. At first it was upsetting because, I'll admit, since we've been diagnosed with infertility, it's hard to see anyone around me get pregnant and have babies but there's also nothing I can do about it.

We've been doing a lot of house hunting and are hoping that we'll find the perfect place real soon. I have had so many people say, "I bet when you finally get your house, you'll get pregnant in no time." I sure hope so! I am going to be 27 in 2 weeks and I was ready to be a mommy soooo long ago! I can't wait until I get to experience that and someday, finally get to hear the words "I love you Mommy" coming out of that precious, cookie covered face.

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