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Been a long time, but a hopeful story... (Warning - long.) (DBL posted in TTC w/Endo)

Forum: Trying to Conceive 1 Year +


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July 8th, 2012, 01:23 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 131
Hi ladies, I've been a member here for many years, before the Endo board was even here I spent my time in TTC 1yr+ etc. I haven't posted in a long long time but I do lurk often on many of the boards, and send my good thoughts to all of you.

Anyway the real reason I'm here is I want to post my story, and hope that some of you will get some renewed hope from it.

I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Endo when I was maybe 18 or 19. My periods were always pretty bad and I missed a lot of school from it even, unfortunately I went through a couple bad doctors before I could get one to listen to me.

My DH and I went through about 4 years of trying (and a second laparoscopy) before I had had my first early MC in 2009. He was away at the time I found out I was pregnant, it all happened so fast that I had to tell him about the MC before I could even tell him the good news (I was waiting on him to get home to tell him). That really devastated me more than I thought it could, especially because he wasn't home with me, and didn't understand what I was going through. It was "over" the day after Mothers Day. I spent the summer trying to forget it and to my COMPLETE surprise in August I got another BFP. I didn't even realize I was late till I woke up one day to throw up for what I thought was no reason lol.

Our beautiful girl just turned 2 in April, and she's my world, and a total daddy's girl.

That wasn't the end of our story though because trying again seemed to be the same struggle. We pretty much never got back on BC after our daughter was born, figuring the odds were against us and they were. Even using OVU sticks every month (and they showed my ovulating regularly) we saw no results. We went through a couple tests and were pretty much told we could go farther with testing but my doc was sure it was just the Endo holding me back so the only thing I could do was pain management (I now had to worry also about being in condition to chase our girl) and keep trying.

About 14 months after dd was born we got our BFP, told the hubby as soon as he got home from work and he held it in about 2 hours before telling everyone lol. Unfortunately we had to un-tell them all about a month later. This time about 2 weeks after Mother's Day. After this I went through a very bad time. I would "give up" the entire cycle and as the week of my period came I'd somehow get my hopes up every time and was crushed again. It was definitely a huge struggle for me and for my husband not being able to console me. All the time also feeling like I wasn't enjoying our little girl enough.

The last MC was last year, we went through another year of talking to doctors, finally getting my DH tested (he was good), and more pain meds. In mid April (after I was late and then started on April 1st...go figure.) I made the call to the fertility specialist and had to be called back when they could fit me in. I had given up. But I soo wanted a playmate for our little girl, and hopefully a son. I probably hit lower than I ever had been. I remember when I made the phone call to the specialist I called DH after to tell him I wanted to throw out the crib etc in the garage. I didn't even want to think of it in there. (It also didn't help that my younger sister, who still lives and is paid for by my dad not only found out her THIRD was on the way, but that she was having the first grandson on our side. After 3 girls and 4 grandgirls my dad was over the moon.)

The day before I was supposed to start in May I was already aching like my endo tends to do, I was upset and decided to get rid of all of our test strips. 2 of them were HCG strips, and I said you know what I'll take them, so that I don't dig them out later and get my hopes up. I used one and it almost immediately came up with 2 lines. I was dumbfounded. I don't think I've ever NOT believed a pg test before lol. I ran out and downed like 4 cups of water and took a second. Same thing. It took everything in me not to wake up my dd right then but I managed to wait till she woke up from her nap and run to my general doctor and had him confirm it too. He kept saying congrats and looking at me I probably looked like I was in shock the whole time! I took my dd and we went and bought daddy a set of onesies and wrapped them up real tight and I let her decorate it. When he got home from work (I wanted to video it) I got her to climb up on his lap and give it to him and he thought the stick was an ovulation stick I had to explain it to him.

This time he lasted about a week before telling everyone (we did each tell our one person that night though). He did say he would keep it to himself if I wanted to wait till the safe zone. It was a tough decision for me, but ultimately I wanted the positive thoughts and well wishes more than wondering for months if I was going to be able to share this.

Today marks week 14 for us. We've had 3 ultrasounds (ended up having 2 NT screenings because baby wouldn't get in the right position the first time). Baby has been described as "perfect" from each (all different) u/s tech. My nausea is starting to subside and I'm getting my energy back. Our daughter talks about baby and randomly gives baby hugs and kisses, and although we ask her multiple times a day she has not once said she's having a sister, it's always a brother lol. I know it probably doesn't mean anything but it will be interesting to see if she's right!

Well that's our journey so far. I am not sure if we're done after this, it my depend heavily on baby gender. Sorry it's so long but after so many years (about 7 1/2 all together) it just feels like I could describe it in a book lol.

I will continue to think of all you ladies and wish the best for you, and I hope you all get your BFP's soon!
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July 19th, 2012, 09:15 AM
writerchick324's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,446
What a story! I am so glad you have made it so far with this pregnancy! I have never had a miscarriage, and I honestly don't know how I would even cope with having one. I have PCOS, so I unfortunately couldn't even ovulate to start TTC.

I wanted a child desperately, but my boyfriend did not. We both decided mentally (no discussion) that we just wouldn't have kids. I knew he didn't want them, he decided he would just be the smoking/drinking uncle that never quite settled down. lol

We found out we were expecting 2 weeks later!

We both are ecstatic about it. Even he is! He told me once, while in the un-safe zone, that if something were to happen, he would want to try again. I was so afraid of a miscarriage with my problems, and the fact that my mom and grandma had each had one.

We didn't use BC while we were dating. I mean, we did in the very beginning, and then we would once in a while, but it took us 2 years to fall pregnant. So I know how it is to want a child for so long and get your hopes up only to end up with AF. It's not even a nice let down. And my bf knew of my issues and I told him everytime I thought I may have ovulated so we could play it safe, so please don't think I tricked him into it!

His sister just had a little girl-first grand-daughter and now we are having a boy. Perfect!

Congrats to you and please don't anyone give up hope! I was convinced-I mean CONVINCED I would never be pregnant. I knew in my gut. My mom even was as convinced as I just from how I would talk about it! So it was quite a surprise when the doc told me I was prego!
DS: 9/13/12

TTC W/PCOS since January of 2016

CP: 6/3/16 at 5 weeks/BETA 40


BFP 7/5/16 11DPO turned to blighted ovum 7/29/16 at 6w6d measuring 5W5D beta 2682

Clomid+trigger 11/4/16
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