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Sharing My Story to Share Some Hope


Forum: Trying to Conceive 1 Year +

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  • 1 Post By ChibiCheekies16
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June 6th, 2015, 08:27 AM
ChibiCheekies16's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Posts: 8,547
I'm cross posting this in a few boards. Wanted to share my story

Hi Ladies,


I wanted to post here to share my recipe for what has seemingly FINALLY worked for me. Iíve kept my fertility struggles very private but it has been a very difficult time for me and I want to share my story here at least and maybe my story can give you hope.


I completely threw in the hat on the baby-making and like magic; that was the month it took.


Iím 27 years old with 2 children from a previous relationship. I had no problems conceiving or with their pregnancies, other than I have a tendency to gain a lot of weight (60-70 lbs) and Iím rhesus negative so I have to get the RhoGam shot. I had a m/c at 16 weeks along with my 1st pregnancy before my girls; but there was no specific cause determined (I think father had defective genes- he has lost multiple babies/no children to date). Anyhow, itís been a good long while and my children are getting grown and I worked hard and matured and fell in love with the best man Iíve ever met my whole life and I married him and life is in a more wonderful way then it ever has been. Lucky me. Cherry on the cake would be a baby. I adore babies. I doula. I teach everyone else about things. I LOVE BABIES.


DH and I began TTC last year in April. I was thrilled and surprised to get a light positive (ON MY BIRTHDAY!) the first month. Who would have thought it would have been that easy?


Joke was on me, because I bled out a day or two later. I went into the dr and got the bloodwork and mourned my early loss. Was assured that this is normal (chemicals are VERY normal butÖ) and told to come back when I was ďreallyĒ pregnant. Bloodwork showed nothing. OK. I can deal. It happens. Bad straw I pulled that time.


But then it happened again. And again. And again. 4 or 5 times again, I forget because it became a very emotionally rough thing to recall and remember over and over and over and over. But we were getting eggs- eggs that would give me slight hunger cravings and kick in just a little bit of hormone- but they would never stick and always ceased to exist.


I drove myself CRAZY. Peed on more of those little sticks than I care to admit to. Watched faint lines come and go, never making it darker past certain DPOs and then disappearing altogether. Tracked EVERYTHING. Everytime we DTD, when I Oíd, when I felt like this or that, when the sticks would start to show. I counted and stressed and prayed and prayed and prayed and stressed and focused and intented and everything I could to try to manifest this new being.


Nothing.


I began regiments of vitamins, scouring the internet for everything that might help. Prenatals and coq 10 and B complex and this and that.


I went through emotional rollercoasters watching everyone around me get pregnant. EVERYONE.


It was difficult to hide the bitterness and jealousy sometimes, why them and not me, donít I try hard to be a good person? So I devoted myself to being as good as I could be (Kind of already my M.O. anyways)
I helped deliver a friendís baby and my heart soared with the joy of that birth. I offered services to every pregnant friend I encountered around me. Poured love and adoration in comments on otherís baby pictures. Cooed over my cousinís newborn. Bought little outfits and mailed out random love packages to the babies I most adored from a distance. Supported others through unplanned pregnancies and ultimate abortion.


And eventually, with every new chemical I would encounter, the brief week or two of pregnancy my body would allow, I started to let my dreams and wishes of my heart go.


I didnít give a lot of faith to the westernized medicine world, my drís didnít seem to be on board with helping me to figure out why I kept having these chemical pregnancies. The bloodwork didnít indicate anything serious. My cycles are beautiful normal like clockwork, I ovulate every month on day 14.5 (like in between day 14 and day 15). They said there wasnít anything wrong with my hormones from the one thyroid panel that was taken. I got a general referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist, because they just ďdidnít deal with this stuffĒ at the regular office.


In the meantime, in the 3 months leading up to the appointment, I researched, we switched vitamins, I looked up everything, had another chemical, we fought, bought a house. Fought for a month or two about even ever having a baby. Skipped the arduous anxiety-inducing downtown appointment with the R.E.


I read this book called ĎThe Infertility Cureí. I had read it before, but something caught my eye the second time around. I realized it could be immunological and blood related.


I made DH donate blood. The results were that we are the exact opposites. Iím A- and heís B+


Ok, thatís a start. I would get these hot flashes in the months I conceived. These full in-body meltdowns that would end after I would bleed. I figured out it was inflammation.


Ok. Where was that coming from and what did I need to do to get my body to cool down?


I read one snippet in one online article linking celiac disease or gluten sensitivities as the cause for a small amount of unsolved cases of infertility. I read about a lot of things.


So I researched and began to suspect, based on my lifetime of symptoms and digestive and stomach issues that had slowly but surely made their presence prominently known in my life, and we both went gluten free. I switched the vitamins one last time, added in some magnesium & beta carotene and enzymes.


Also, I threw in the hat to westernized medicine and we went to acupuncture.



Found the nicest little Chinese lady whose office is always packed and her prices were reasonable and we went. And went back. And went back again. She recommended more frequent sessions for my husband and he went. LOVED IT. I began to worry about the effect it was beginning to take on our bank account. It felt really good, but a couple hundred dollars a month good? I suppose you canít put a price to good health (thatís what I had justified the cost of the vitamins with).


And we had one last stressful month of TTC. Texting arguments while he was at work about DtD and him being purposefully oblivious as to when I oíed. Me freaking out about lackluster quality sperm since it had been more than 2-3 days. Used that sperm-aid stuff, awkwardly (thereís no sexy way to it I think).
The month before I had ended up in the ER with scary pelvic pain thinking (hoping praying) it wasnít an ectopic only to find out that the Tribulus I had taken had pushed me into hyperovulation mode (that month I put out 2 eggs at O and another the day I got my period!) But still, not any of those took.

And the tribulus is STRONG STUFF so we stopped it right away because my poor ovaries couldnít take that pump up month after month. But if his sperm couldnít catch the eggs I was throwing at him like a clown in a pie throwing contest, then this baby stuff wasnít in our hands and probably wasnít ever going to happen. Iíll deal. I have a garden. Made plans for baby chickens.
Then let it go.



Figured another chemical was there when things came on a day or two late, as per the usual, right? Worst chemical I had yet. Cramps that were actual labor contractions and I blacked out at the hardware store while shopping (THAT was embarrassing). My cramps and PMS had become non-existent thanks to the vitamins and supplements (Vitex/Chasteberry has been my savior) so this caught me seriously off-guard and I ended up weak and very sick for two weeks, including this yearís birthday. Happy Birthday to me, all I got to do was lay around in pain and bleed. Wonderfully.

So last week I open the app that I was using to neurotically obsess about everything, and this last few months, I havenít tracked anything except the days I bleed, and I notice my period is predicted to be soon. Okay I said, Iíll wait.


So I did. And did. And did.


I was 6 days late when I caved and threw alas more money down the drain on pee sticks that were probably just going to say nothing, or they would say something and then Iíd just bleed out the day or two after. DH and I had discussed it at length. I figured the best and most economically free thing to do at this point is just wait (this is coming from a woman who six months ago kept the pee sticks in a certain place so should could compare the darkening of lines day by day from 9DPO to 15) because babies that are healthy will just show up. Like on TV. Youíre just doing something and realize all of a sudden you donít feel well and holy cow you deliver a baby. It happens. But he persuaded me otherwise.

And indeed a dark immediate BFP
And a digi reading PREGNANT 2-3 weeks

Iím still in disbelief. I really had become content with my current life routine. I have baby chickens and a coop Iím building and a house Iím remodeling and a nonprofit I just incorporated. Iím digging up my garden and still working on my landscaping. I have a book I want to write and lots and lots of things.


But we sure are excited.


And Iím terrified, but this is a positive occurrence and now that it has happened, if it doesnít work out, thereís a good chance it might happen again! (The optimism is weird once youíre cautiously and closely acquainted with death)


Iím not sure what did it this time, or why this one stuck, but I have a strong inclination it was a combination of the vitamins, the gluten-free diet, and the acupuncture, and the genetics


Here are some of the vitamins I have been on since my last switch in March. I stopped taking anything that I thought would influence hormones (evening primrose oil, tribulus, licorice root, maca, also no Red raspberry leaf tea) although I took those in the past and I cut out the chamomile tea I was drinking in buckets (for inflammation and calm)
Rainbow Light prenatal
Coq-10-
B-12 (sublingual)
Baby/Low Dose Aspirin
B Complex
Fish Oil
Omega 3-6-9
Calcium- 1200mg
Vitex/chasteberry 400mg-(been taking since last spring- has helped eliminate acne & period cramps & PMS)
Wobenzyme N
Milk Thistle
Magnesium
Beta-Carotene
{I think thatís everything}

DH has a host of vitamins that he has been taking also to help with sperm quality & such.


We both saw an acupuncturist several times for treatment


We are both on a gluten-free diet & also followed dietary recommendations by acupuncturist (no salads or cold foods- try to stick with warm steamed vegetables, rice & meat)


I eat the same breakfast almost every day (orange juice, rice cereal & blueberries or bananas)


Added more meat into diet Ė chicken & fish- being careful that it is antibiotic free & organic when able


Also, we installed a water filtration system in our house 6 months ago and so all of our household water is free of Chlorine and everything else in city water, our drinking water is filtered through a ZERO water filter (which takes out any remaining particles left in the water).
----


And as of Thursday, when I went to ER and demanded bloodwork to check HCG and Progesterone levels My HCG was high (8866!!!) and my progesterone was high too (38.5) which I had been panicking about, because I wasnít sure if low progesterone had ever been my issue. But Iím further than I thought I could be, which means that last killer chemical with the awfulest cramps was actually the day I probably was implanting, which would explain the two weeks of uncontrollable lack of energy and weakness as baby thing knocked out my immune system because otherwise it wouldnít have a chance.

I didnít mark down when we dtd that month, I donít remember. I didnít mark down when I ovulated, Itís my best guess at this point, but the egg that caught I donít think was the egg I ovulated out at the regular time, either this one was a renegade egg (a final product from my tribulus experiments?) that snuck out right before I would have expected my period, or it was a slow hatcher & implanter.


This is nothing I could have kept track of even I was keeping track.


Thank you for reading on, I just hope that this gives you hope and maybe can help to provide some insight to whatever difficulties you may be encountering.


Stress is a really big thing I think. Take it easy! Donít give up! I problem solved everything myself fueled by my emotions and passion for problem solving and sense of intuition. It would have taken the drís a lot longer to figure out why and I know it would have caused more anxiety the more invasive tests I had done. I have confidence in my body now, but Iíve also learned more about my health and wellbeing and what it takes for a precarious pregnancy to take hold, and those lessons are worth their weight in gold.


Thanks for reading
-Michelle - See more at: http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1...l#post28335995
Libby22 likes this.
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August 25th, 2018, 06:54 PM
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took me 3 years to get my son
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