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Forum: Secondary Fertility Issues


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April 29th, 2009, 07:32 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,407
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Ladies this is a place for us to share our stories with one another. A place to put it all down so that others can read those stories and see how far we've come and what we had to overcome to get those beautiful babies that we are all going to be holding soon. Share your story so far and remember to come back and update it from time to time. (And definitely when you get your BFP!)

I am going to have this stickied so that it's easy for all the visitors and new members to find.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!

Click on my blinkies to tour some of my favorite boards!
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May 4th, 2009, 02:13 PM
Vicki...'s Avatar Mommy to Caleb & Ethan
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ravencliff WV
Posts: 13,919
Kinda long girls, sorry just a long story and i know i probably missed parts.

Well my story goes like this, I started actually trying to conceive our 2nd child in November of 2007(we had not really been doing anything to prevent before then either) I tried for several cycles, and found out in early February of 2008 that we were expecting, a few days later i started cramping and went to the hopital to be told that i had miscarried, I was devastated but not ready to give up. I kept on trying a few more months and It was getting harder and harder emotionally, luckily I found this wonderul board with some supportive and great women in August of 2008 and it felt so much better just to be able to talk about my issues without people acting like secondary infertility was just not a big deal( you gals are great). I went to my family doctor in October and got put back on metformin since I already knew that i had pcos and my cycles were crazy so I thought this would help, I even tried several herbs pretty much everything possible to try, finally in december I got a bfp again, I was so happy and made the mistake of telling everyone, only to be let down again, I started spotting and went to the hospital again to be told again that i had miscarried, this time I bout did give up, I am so ashamed to admit that this really made me question my faith which I have apologized several times for now and regret. We did not try again till my cycle that began towards the end of january and of course bfn, then I decided i was going to kinda take a break which never really happened i was too obsessed with ttc'ing, but I did focus allot of my energy on losing weight, and excercising, i started taking a rx diet pill, I was also taking a couple herbs this month, vitex and maca and of course was on my metformin, I lost 15 lbs the first month on my diet and was not really too surprised when af was late I honestly just thought af was late due to weight loss not pregnancy, but I had another appointment with my weight loss doctor so i had to take a test just to be sure i wasn't and was shocked when the test was a very faint bfp, but i messed up and got blue dye test so I did not really quite believe it so I waited a couple days and took more tests and they were positive too, but they were dollar store tests so I still was unsure, so i bought 1 equate test and 2 frer tests and they were very positive, since then I have taken about 20 more home pregnancy tests and still feel the urge to test, it still seems far too good to be true. I am overjoyed, yet still so scared, I have seen the heartbeat now and have horrible morning sickness but still feels so sureal most days but I feel like I would have gave up if it were not for you wonderful ladies, I pray every night that you girls will get your sticky beans soon!!!! Thanks girls for always being here for me!
I forgot add one reason I really thought this was not my cycle was that on cd 11-cd13 I spotted, pretty light but I thought this was for sure a sign that af was out of wack, after I got my bfp I actually read in tcoyf that spotting midcyle can be a sign of impending ovulation shocking right, usually this would have devastated me to spot mid cylce but I just kinda ignored it, but was feeling pretty good about myself after the weight loss so we dtd allot that month guess it did the trick!!!

Last edited by Vicki...; May 4th, 2009 at 02:19 PM. Reason: Forgot to add something
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May 4th, 2009, 08:44 PM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Southern Iowa
Posts: 23,407
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Well, Matt and I started TTC in March of 2006 but I guess the reality of it is that my story begins much earlier than that. I gave birth to my daughter in April of 1998. Please don't hate me but I was one of those people we all hate. 17 years old....not ready for a kid, not even in a serious relationship (though we did end up married, but we'd only been dating a month or so) and we were not only not trying....we were PREVENTING. I went on Depo for a while after she was born but didn't like the affect it had one me, so we decided to go ahead and try for another baby. After 2 years I got frustrated and gave up. a few months later I was pregnant. My son was born in 2001. We didn't prevent after his birth. We actually were hoping for another fairly quickly. 4 years later when we split up in January of 2005 we still hadn't gotten pregnant again. At least not that I knew of. With all the early losses I've had now... it's possible there were some then too.

Matt and I met in October of 2005. We did the long distance dating until March of 2006 when we moved in together and immediately started TTC. We found out we were pregnant the first time in October of 2006, but sadly miscarried. This was followed by other miscarriages in May 2007, August 2007, June 2008, August of 2008, April 2009 and most recently November of 2009. None of these pregnancies have made it past 5w1d and no one knows why since all of our tests have come back normal. We are currently on our last round of clomid and then we will be saving up some money and moving on to IUI in the spring. If IUI does not work, then we will make our final decision between pursing IVF or adoption. At this point.... it's looking like adoption for many reasons. Some are the religious aspects involved with IVF (ex. what if we have more embryos than we can possibly use?) and some just because we aren't sure if it is fair to the two living children we have to throw that much money towards a chance. With adoption, at least we are definitely going to have a baby in the end.

I do believe that we will have more children. At this point, the only question is how will the children come to join our family? I don't know yet, why we have had these struggles, but I do believe God has a purpose for everything and one day I will understand. It doesn't make it easy to deal with, but it does make it possible for me to keep going.

Thanks to Jaidynsmum for my new siggy!

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Last edited by MountainMomma; December 7th, 2009 at 10:16 PM. Reason: updating
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October 21st, 2009, 11:10 AM
BornAgainRenee's Avatar TTC #6 after 4 losses
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Denver Colorado
Posts: 1,388
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Well I guess Im another one of the ones that people hate. When I was 19 I was living with my then boyfriend, and I really wanted a baby, I talked him into not using any protection and we kept getting bfn's. Of course Im sure it was timing, I thought all we had to do was bd and I would get pg. So then we started thinking and we both decided that we didn't really want to be pg. Well guess what....that was too bad I already was. So after a nasty breakup and moving back in with my parents I had my first son. Funny thing is, I knew I loved kids and I knew I loved to babysit, but I was a natural. I loved being a Mommy. The only thing I didn't like was having to leave him every day. After a while I got back together with his dad and we got married. We started ttc 3 months before out wedding, and finally ended up pg 9 months after we started ttc. I had my oldest daughter then. When she was 8 months old I found out I was pg with my middle son, we were using condoms when I got pg with him. He was born with Prader-Willi syndrome and was a very difficult baby. My schedule for the first 3 months he was home went like this. Pump, feed (took an hour cause I had to force feed cause he couldn't suck), Physical therapy, sleep. I got an average of 2 hours a sleep a night because of his demanding schedule. Things started to slow down and when he was almost 3 we got pg with my youngest daughter, while I was on the diaphram. 1 year later we divorced.

I met Kevin before my ex and I divorced, and we got serious after my ex left me. We were married and I got pg 1 year later on bcp. Daniel was born legally blind.

They are all such a joy and I love the challenge of being a Mom to 5 children, 2 of which being special needs!!

Kevin and I stopped using any form of bc and went on to ntnp. In April of 2006 we found out we were pg again. I started bleeding a week after we found out. Had several us and saw a hb ever time. I bled for 4 weeks before the us that showed no hb. I bled for another 2 and then miscarried. then bled for another 1 1/2 weeks. We decided that we would continue like we had been but I started temping and charting. We got pg in nov. that same year and I had a missed miscarriage and had to have a d&c on Jan 15th 2007, MLK day. Then we went back to the same thing. Charting and temping. I then got pg in Oct. Everything was going great. The baby had a hb and then we found out that she was a girl, and then we found out that my cervix had prematurely opened with no indication and the umbilical cord was in my vaginal area. They put me in the hospital in that position where you head is at the floor and your feet are up to the sky. But it didn't work, my water broke and at 4pm on Jan. 21st 2008 also MLK day, Gracie was born. I held her for a couple of min, she grasped my finger and moved her little mouth. She was beautiful, she had a little bit of blonde hair, and little blone eyebrows. Then I hemorrhaged and had to go for an emergency d&c. When I came back Kevin had her wrapped up in a blanket, but she had died while I was in surgery, while he was holding her.
After that we just went back to ntnp. I went on a diet and have since lost 102lbs. I still have more to loose but I am at a comfortable state now. I weigh less now then I have my entire adult life. In the middle of all of this we moved into a new house, and one morning I got an overwhelming feeling that I was not going to start my period and that I was pg. So I went to the store and bought a digi. Came home, texted my best friend and told her, I wanted moral support for what ever was going to happen. I poas and up came Pregnant. I was kinda freaked out. I was in the middle of loosing weight, I had lost 80lbs by then and I was a little disappointed that I was going to have to stop. I did, and everything seemed fine, then on the 15th I started bleeding. I didn't bleed much but on the 16th I really was bleeding. Then the contracting came, and it was almost as painful as my first son. I ended up bleeding all over the floor and my husband insisted that we go to the hospital. And of course we learned there that I had miscarried again.
Well after that my dh and I had a serious talk, and have decided that no matter what we want one more child, and if I have to have more miscarriages to do that then I will. We went to the Dr. and I hadn't seen him since the day I lost Gracie, I couldn't bring myself to go to the follow up appt. He took one look at me and said Renee you look amazing. Course that did my heart good. He told me that Gracie was separate from the miscarriages, and once I get a bfp and continue to carry that baby, that he will keep a very close eye on my cervix and if it starts to shorten or funnel again he will put a cerclage in. He said that in his office, he is a MFM, that it is very unusual for him to see a woman with 9 pregnancies and 9 living children, he said that with that many pregnancies he is use to seeing a history with 2 to 3 miscarriages. He said that is more normal then things that you see on TV, like the duggars who have had 18 babies and one miscarriage. He also told me that my weight loss will dramatically increase my chances of carrying a healthy baby. So we did a thyroid test, and blood clotting tests. All of them came back normal. He said that he doesn't believe that I have a LP defect and that he will test my progesterone as soon as I get my bfp.
So here I am charting and temping and learning more now then I have ever known before. Im praying for a quick bfp but am happy either way. Im still loosing weight and if I haven't gotten my bfp by the time I have gotten to goal, then I might be upset, but this way Im either thrilled that IM pg or thrilled that Im closer and closer to having all this extra weight gone.
So thats my story. I don't have much problem getting pg, its staying that way that is my struggle!

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October 23rd, 2009, 08:28 PM
~InHisHands~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: US - Alabama
Posts: 12,675
My infertility story!

First of all, let me say that I also have a child, a son, from a previous marriage born in 1996 when I was only 19 years old too (seems to be a trend in here ).

So Mike & I met in 2002 & married in 2004. We started TTC our first sometime in 2006. I don't remember exactly when in 2006 since at that time I thought it'd be easy to get pg since Austin was a surprise… boy was I wrong! Anyway, so we TTC for a little over a year when I started to see an OB to help aide in our TTC efforts. That's when I was dx with hypothyroidism (Nov '07). I was so happy to finally have a reason that I wasn't getting pg. I thought, "Great! Now maybe we can get this fixed & I can finally get pg!" Of course it wasn't as easy as all that. It took me a year to find the right dr & the right thyroid meds to treat my hypo. So we began actively TTC again in Dec '08 after I found a new OB. The new OB ran a few more tests & dx me with a progesterone defect as well; though by all accounts & according to my chart, it appears that I am Oing fine, with a normal LP so this kinda surprised me. So we started Clomid. The 3rd round of Clomid we finally conceived our miracle baby (in April '09).

My pg was uneventful & we even saw the heartbeat at my 8 wk u/s. Well, it was uneventful for 11 wks 3 days, that is, until I started spotting late on June 30, '09. I then went on to have a m/c late that night/early the next morning (between 12 & 1 am). I ended up having to go to the ER b/c of the tremendous pain I was in & had a D&C July 1, '09. I posted a memorial to my sweet angel here, if you would like to read it & remember her… http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2...l#post16539610.

So fast-forward... we tried 2 more cycles on Clomid since the m/c & have finally been referred to the RE. See my first RE appt update here... Galatians 4:22-23: First RE Appointment.

The biggest thing that has helped me through my infertility struggles is the Lord. I actually finally accepted Jesus as my Lord & Savior in Sept '07. I have HEAVILY leaned on Him & the following scripture during my struggles...
Jeremiah 29:11:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I truly believe that the Lord has promised me that I will have a baby & therefore I will not stop till I have him/her.


Here's kind of a summary or TTC "journal" of sorts:

TTC for about a year until I was dx with Hypothyroidism in Nov '07.
Started TTC again in Dec '08 after taking a year to find the right dr's to help me in my journey.
Cycle #1: Natural ~ LH surge, day 12:
Cycle #2: Natural ~ LH surge, day 12 ~ Progesterone, day 23, 6.5:
Cycle #3: 50 mg Clomid, days 2-6 ~ LH surge, day 16 ~ Progesterone, day 22, 13.5:
Cycle #4: 50 mg Clomid, days 3-7 ~ LH surge, day 13 ~ Progesterone, day 24, 4.6 :
Cycle #5: NTNP ~ HSG, day 7, tube open ~ LH surge, day 12:
April 19th, Church "corporate" prayer for our TTC struggles!
Cycle #6: 100 mg Clomid, days 2-6 ~ LH surge, day 13 ~ Progesterone, day 23, 17:
Carried my precious miracle baby for 11 wks 3 days when I had a m/c on July 1, 2009 ~ EDD was Jan 16, 2010! Praise you Lord for my sweet angel baby!
Cycle #7: 100 mg Clomid, days 2-6 ~ LH surge, day 14 ~ Progesterone, day 23, 8.4:
Cycle #8: 150 mg Clomid, days 2-6 ~ LH surge, day 13 ~ Progesterone, day 23, 4.4:
Referred to an RE...
Cycle #9: NTNP ~ O pains on CD 15 ~ Progesterone, day 22, 16.4:

A&A Art ~ My TTC Blog ~ My Pics

"Never confuse acceptance with approval. Without approving
all we do, Jesus accepts all who come to Him." ~
Rick Warren

CLICK HERE to read about my mission trip to Romania! CLICK HERE to see pics!

Last edited by ~InHisHands~; December 23rd, 2009 at 06:02 PM.
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November 8th, 2009, 06:09 PM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 231
I have been on the boards for a while but figured I would put my story up too.
DD was born 1999. Her dad and I divorced in 2005. A week after we filed for divorce I found out I was pg. I was going through a lot of stress, moving, and pretty much just in the worst part of my life at that point. I made it to 5 1/2 weeks (give or take a few days) and started bleeding and cramping. I went in to the ER and they confirmed it was a m/c. My life was in complete disarray. I made it through and met DH in Dec 2005. We got married shortly after that then he was deployed to Iraq. I didn't want to get pg and have to go through all of that by myself, so I was on bc on and off until he came home (October 07). I actually stayed on bc until August 2008 because we wanted to work on our relationship after the deployment. We were ntnp until I got a BFP in June 09. A few days after the BFP the cramping came again. Another early m/c. I started trying to learn everything I could about ttc. And have been ttc since.
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May 10th, 2013, 03:18 PM
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Southern, California
Posts: 95
Hi I'm a newbie I have a 13yo DS with my DH. I've been trying to conceive for 1yr now but just started BBT and Clomid. My DH has had other children since our son so we're pretty sure he doesn't have the problem. I'm looking very forward to talking to other ppl going through the same types of struggles. I was also 19 when I had my first son. I've never used condoms and only took BCP in the past because I was told it would help but I've never been pregnant again after my DS. I had a lot of problems though over the years but no definite answers as to a problem. one of my struggles with dealing with secondary infertility is feeling like a failure since I would love to have more children everyone around seems to have no problems getting pregnant. So some support would be great. Thanks heaps in advance.
happily married to Lee

DS 13y/o DSS 6 y/o DSD 2 y/o

My Ovulation Chart

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June 12th, 2013, 09:13 PM
JCT2005's Avatar Teddy's Mom
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,770
Teddy, mine and Corey's only child was born April 11th 2005. We were engaged but not trying but not exactly preventing a pregnancy either. He was unplanned but very welcomed.

After I had Teddy, I went almost a year without AF. Teddy never took breastfeeding but my body continued to produce prolactin. It turns out I have a small tumor on my pituitary gland that causes it to still be produced. At first, it was okay. It was our own natural birth control. As Teddy has gotten older, Corey and I have thought it would be nice to have another child. AF has started to return on her own. Irregular at first but now, after 8 years since having DS, coming about every month. I see an endocrinologist every year and he says that my prolactin levels is becoming normal. Hopefully that means we'll be able to conceive again. My doctor said he had other patients with the same problem and they have been able to conceive.

DH and I are going to start trying instead of just NTNP this month. We'll give it about half a year before consulting with my doctor about taking pills to make sure I ovulate.

Good luck to everyone.

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September 6th, 2013, 11:59 PM
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5
My story is obviously still ongoing, as is everyone elses.

I had my daughter in 2006, and I'd say right around 6 months post-partum is when all my long list of problems started.

I actively tried for 1 year to get pregnant 2007-2008, then stopped trying because I was single until October 2012.

However, in all that time, I have seen my cycle miss completely by 4 months at a time and have negative pregnancy tests.

Now for the medical side of things. I've been diagnosed as having PCOS and more recently, endometrial hypoplasia. Here I am almost 2 months late and I actually got sick walking past the deli at Walmart while they were cooking fried okra! I have had so many false alarms in the past 6 years that I would be very surprised if I find out when I see my doctor that I'm pregnant.

I did the metformin route, made me sicker than hell so I stopped.
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December 2nd, 2016, 10:27 AM
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
Hi Mommies,
You can call me jenny.I am a 28 year old wife and mother of two. I had a really rough start in life. I was adopted at birth, but i had the displeasure of knowing my biological parents. My adopted parents allowed me to maintain a relationship with them until I was sexually assaulted by my biological dad and my half brother. The assault by my half brother left me pregnant at 14. Scared and confused I finally spoke up. My biological mom secretly took me to get an abortion. I still cry about that to this day. I was sexually assaulted again after the birth of my two children while spending the night at a friend's house. I couldn't abort the baby,but I couldn't live with the truth of his conception either so i gave him up for adoption. I was in a really bad place around this time. It was so bad that I had to step back and let my mom help me for a while. After the birth, I had my tubes tied because i felt like less of a woman because i wasn't strong enough to accept my gift from God despite how he was conceived. Now hear I am 6years later regretting that decision because not only have I lost my baby boy but also the opportunity to have another. At this point I am willing to be a surrogate only if the family can cover the cost of my reversal. I just want to feel whole again and bless another mother with the joy of mothergood. If you can help me I would greatly appreciate it.
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April 1st, 2017, 05:45 PM
Libby22's Avatar Super Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Palmerston north, New Zealand
Posts: 9,096
Took me 3 year to get my son, few m/c in 2015. never give up hope
AF 15 Nov 2017 Nz time praying for a rainbow heathy baby <3 All I want for Christmas is a BFP!!

My Ovulation Chart

missed m/c 28 march 2010- Toni 11 weeks CP 11 march 2015- Katie 4 weeks 10 May 2015 Lilly- 4 weeks CP blighted ovum 2017
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August 26th, 2017, 09:18 PM
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 8
Hi, Mommies..
My story is just same as others. I also have this infertility, which is a little bit accidental..as I had this car accident/miscarriage during my pregnancy. It made me go through this HYSTERECTOMY, which was the removal of my entire uterus..Before that, I had this baby girl and after it, I am single child parent..I also considered this uterus transplantation but owing to the failure references of some cases. I went into hesitation and unsatisfied with it. Now, I tried adoption but our whole family wasn't comfortable with it. After 3 years we got to know about this surrogacy procedure. I was also uncomfortable with it. But, after my DH's sperm test, I started researching it and it finally changed our lives. My DH's sperm worked and now we have another son through a surrogate mother. I would definitely suggest people go through this way. Why living without a child, when we do have such an amazing options..anyway I'd also love to hear the experiences of other mommies out here..xoxo
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