Log In Sign Up

Are there any positives...?

Forum: Secondary Fertility Issues


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Secondary Fertility Issues LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
April 20th, 2011, 06:08 PM
Posts: n/a
Can you think of any positives to dealing with secondary infertility and/or not being able to add to your family at your "ideal" timing?

For me, I used to try to tell myself that at least we were really going to have plenty of time to enjoy Mason and all of his baby stages before having another baby. But at this point, if I don't get/stay pregnant soon, it's just going to be a ridiculously big age gap with Mason being the lonely only child for waaay too long.

I would say if there is any positive at this point it is that I am a much more sensitive person. I have been through heck in the last 18 months and some of the people I love and trust the most have said some of the dumbest/most unhelpful things. I am EXTREMELY sensitive about all things fertility related (and hopefully other struggles as well). I will never ask anyone when they are going to have a baby/another baby again. I would never want to put anyone through any of the grief I have been through.
Reply With Quote
April 20th, 2011, 07:22 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,014
Like you I have MUCH more understanding of fertility issues and have become more open about my struggles.

And I know this sounds silly but I am not taking things forgranted. I know that this may never happen again
Donna - Mom to David and Asher

Reply With Quote
April 20th, 2011, 07:50 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 419
For me, there are two things that have been blessings about not being able to conceive right away. The first is that I had severe hyperemesis with my pregnancies, to the point that I couldn't take care of my kids and had to have help around the clock. So I am grateful for the extra time I have had with Luke and Lily where I am fully present and focused on them. Lily is two and I think she will be able to handle my being sick a little easier now that she is older.

The second blessing is that this experience has really strengthened my faith. I was so angry with God when I miscarried, but time has given me more perspective and I am much more grounded and confident in my faith now than I was before. I will never be thankful that I miscarried, but I am thankful for the growth that I have experienced since. I think that I am a more compassionate friend and I know that I am much more careful what I say to ANYONE about having kids.

Thank you so much .:Shortcake:. for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
April 22nd, 2011, 06:19 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
I think having an understanding of what so many women go through, something I really could not understand before, is a Blessing in disguise.

Also, this journey has taught me to teasure even more my boys and watching them grow.

Finally, since I know #3 will be our last, it delayed it all "being over." If that makes any sense.

Oh, and I don't take anything for granted anymore...I have always seen any child as an amazing Blessing, but now I just have an even bigger feeling about that...like in my heart breaking month after month it somehow would be bigger each time it repaired itself and I was able to find hope again.
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield

(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.

Reply With Quote
April 22nd, 2011, 03:59 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Seymour, TN
Posts: 945
I think dealing with secondary infertility has given me patience.... and also has allowed me to focus more on Gabriel, and truly appreciate the blessing that he is.

Reply With Quote
April 23rd, 2011, 07:01 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
My losses and secondary infertility have taught me to treasure every second of pregnancy and of my kids' lives, because nothing in life is guaranteed.

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0