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Boyfriend is thinking of joining the military!

Forum: Military Mommies


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  • 1 Post By DeletedUser12345
  • 1 Post By Dakotas_mom

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June 19th, 2012, 11:54 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Hello everyone! I'm new here, but I could really use some advice. My boyfriend Angel and I have been together for five years and have a beautiful little girl named Allyson, who just turned one. Since Angel and I met he's talked about going to the military, but after high school we found out I was pregnant and he chose to put it off for a while so that he would be able to be here for us. He went to CHI for medical assisting, which he loves, but now he's landed himself in a job where he's just not 100% happy. He's stressed out all of the time and has even said that he feels like something in his work life is missing, and I feel it may be the military. He's been debating between the Coast Guard and the Navy for some time now, and it's obvious that he really wants to go, but he says there are two things holding him back from going. He's afraid he'll get there and decide it isn't what he hoped and that it'll be a pain to get out, and he doesn't want the three of us moving around all of the time. He moved around a lot as a child and doesn't want Allyson to feel unstable. How do I explain to him that everything is going to be okay and we can make it work if he chooses to go? How do all of you deal with these issues? We already knew that we wouldn't be able to live together until we're married, so until we set a wedding date and everything Allyson and I would just be taking visits to see him whenever we could. I want him to follow his dreams. Is there anything you could all tell me about your lives with the military? Maybe it'll help him with his decision.

Thank you all so very much,
Kim and Allyson

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June 19th, 2012, 09:26 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
I'm totally biased, but we love the Coast Guard so much. My dh was in the Army for three years, and has now been in the CG for seven years. He will stay in until he retires. It's been a really good life for us. The Coast Guard has a few large boats that go out three or even six months, but in general their boats are smaller and might be out a few days, a few weeks, or up to about two months. So in and out, but not for a long period like the Army. And that is just when they are on sea duty. My dh hasn't really gone underway in about six years because of his job...yeah, I'm pretty spoiled. Of course some people love the sea and choose jobs that allow them go underway more often.

Anyway, there is quite a bit of moving involved. You just have to think of it as an adventure. I've found it pretty easy to make friends at every base, and I'm pretty shy. There are nice people everywhere though...people in the same boat as you. I've made friends that I will always consider family, even though we only spent a few years together before orders took us apart. My kids have proved to be very outgoing and have had good luck making friends each base as well. Really they don't know any other life. Most of their friends are also military brats, so I'm sure this all seems normal to them.

The medical coverage of course is good...your daughter will be covered, as will you if you marry. If you are talking marriage I'd go ahead and do it before he leaves. It'll also allow him to get BAH (housing money) for your family.
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June 19th, 2012, 09:48 PM
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2
Thank you so incredible much! That really helps. Someone on another site said that the Coast Guard has a two year waiting list though, so hopefully they're either wrong or he chooses to wait for then because I feel like the Coast Guard would be better for him.

Thank you again!
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June 20th, 2012, 07:48 AM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I love the military lifestyle. When I was born, my mother was in the Air Force.. She is kicking herself for getting out because she could have retired in 06 (20 year retirement).. and my dad went Army when I was about 9 and I have loved moving around. Yes, it is hard leaving friends.. but it is a great opportunity. I am now married into the military and my husband an I are in Germany and have gotten to travel to France, Spain, Italy, Austria, and so much more.. Now, we are going back to the states and I am looking forward to a new adventure. He is getting out now after 12 years Army because he got injured in his second tour to Afghanistan and he can't wear the gear anymore without it messing up his back.. so there are ups and downs.. My husband is sad to be getting out, though. The Army is his life.

Plus, all the benefits (if you get married) are wonderful! It is a way to get a good lifestyle.
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June 20th, 2012, 08:35 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Andrews AFB, MD
Posts: 15,496
The Coast Guard is hard to get into right now. Well all the branches can be more picky right now because they are reducing their total # of forces and also the economy still isn't that great. There isn't like one big waiting list though....each recruiting station will have it's own quota to fill. Like when my dh went in in 2004, we were living in North Carolina which has four recruiting stations. All four told him they were full and there was a waiting list. We then started calling nearby states. He ended up enlisting out of Florida. We flew down there (his Grandma lives there so it wasn't too hard) and he took his test and left from that state. So if it is something he really wants have him do your research and make your phone calls and it might pay off. And then of course the best applicants will have an easier time...diploma, no criminal record, high ASVAB scores, etc. A recruiter can help him with all that info.
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June 20th, 2012, 11:56 AM
Dakotas_mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Okinawa, Japan
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We love the military lifestyle also. Just get me wrong, it's rough and will test your relationship. My husband is in the Air Force and we've only been at 2 bases in the past 6 years. I think the military is great, if you can handle everything that comes with it.
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