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  #1  
January 29th, 2007, 09:48 AM
chrisnd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Jersey
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I am popping in from the August DDC hoping I can get some help from you.

Here is a brief history

I met my boyfriend 4 months after he came home from Iraq. He got out of active duty and is now just in the reserves.
My boyfriend has a civilian job that pays him VERY well; however, he is in jeopardy of losing this job. His job in the army is air defense and he is also a drill sgt. The skills he has in the military aren't really helpful in the civilian world. So getting a job making the same pay is going to be very difficult.

SOOO, we are thinking that if he losses his job, he MAY go back to active duty. We have discussed getting married for a while now ( I am actually impatiently waiting for my ring!!!) If he goes active duty, we will have to have a quick wedding (which I am fine with).

I honestly have NO idea what acitve military is like.

What do you think the pros would be with him going back to active duty?
What do you think the cons would be?
Any advice for me?
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  #2  
January 29th, 2007, 10:33 AM
Mommy4x4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I posted a response in our DDC.
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  #4  
January 29th, 2007, 01:23 PM
*KeLLy*
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What do you think the pros would be with him going back to active duty?
Well here's the greatest benefit lol.. is Tricare you get health benefits. You also get a job that is very secure (unless you go awol or kill somebody (other than the bad guy) You get to see the world..

What do you think the cons would be?
Moving constantly, being a single mom for most of the time (depends if he gets a dsgt position then u could be undeployable for a while), away from family.

Any advice for me?
Personally, I love the military. I love the life and I love the benefits. However, this life is NOT for everybody. I have some friends who absolutely despise it bc of different reasons, but mainly bc they never get to see their family. I don't have any family so it works out ok for me. It is something that you and your dh need to really talk about and ask him lots of questions pertaining to his job. Then you need to sit and ask yourself is your marriage strong enough to withstand a 18 mo deployment? Are you mentally ready to stand by him when he returns from Iraq and isn't all *there* for a while. ?? And can you handle the things the military throws at you, such as crappy housing or ten buck two bases where there isn't anything but mom-pop shops for 100 mile radius..

Another thing I always tell myself.. thousands of women have come before me, if they too can live this life than so shall I.
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  #5  
January 29th, 2007, 02:26 PM
7/07Mommy
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You've already gotten a lot of great advice from these ladies. I'm fairly new to the military lifestyle myself. I knew absolutely nothing about the military before meeting my husband 2 years ago, but I can share my personal experience.
There are some great benefits- the job security and free healthcare being a couple of them. There's also the sense of community. You can meet a fellow military wife anywhere, and she understands what you're going through.
I'll be honest with you. It has been a HUGE adjustment for me. I had to give up a great career that I loved and move from Los Angeles all the way across the country to a small rural town. I don't really have much in common with the majority of people I've met here, but I have made a couple of really great friends. I just don't have as many friends as I did back home. I'm a very social person, and I miss the lifestyle I had before.

You have to be very comfortable being independent and self-reliant. Our men are usually gone more than they're home.

I don't mean for this to sound negative. I embrace this chapter of my life. I've experienced and learned things that I never would have if I'd stayed in the civilian world. Most importantly, I'm married to the love of my life, and despite all the things I've mentioned, I couldn't be happier.

Good luck with whatever you guys decide. I think you're doing the right thing by asking these types of questions to prepare yourself for what to expect.
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  #6  
January 30th, 2007, 06:02 AM
chrisnd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14,482
Thank you for your responses.
Chris and I have a lot to discuss and figure out. I appreciate all your honest opinions.

I will keep you updated.
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  #7  
January 30th, 2007, 11:17 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 5,429
Welcome! Sending some engagement ring dust your way!!

Brutally honest here:

Pros--free healthcare(I.E. give birth-free, prescription meds-free, checkups-free, etc.), tax free grocery shopping on base, a lot of good deals at the NEX/BX(military base mall), pride in your husband , a huge extended family with the rest of the wives and their families, option to live on base for free(sorta---if you do not live on base, you will receive an allowance to pay for housing out in town), a food allowance, you get to have that feeling of "new love" like you did when you first met your husband every time he comes back from a deployment--not many people get to experience the honeymoon phase again, you get to be married to a guy in uniform(yummy), opportunity to travel the world and live in exciting foreign places at the expense of the military

Cons: Deployments, fear for your husband's life during wartime deployments, being a single mom during deployments, you have no control over decisions made for your life(where you live, when your dh leaves, etc.), you may have to give birth without dh there, sadness/depression while dh is gone(depending on person), frequent moves

*All of the above is depending on what your dh would go in to do, what branch, etc. I do not have to move as often as a lot of families do, because my husband is a Seabee--so we stay at locations around 4 yrs on average. However, my dh deploys regularly regardless of whether or not it is wartime, he is home for 10 months and then deployed for 6 over and over. Most others deploy only during wartimes.

Any Advice for you?: I love being a military wife, my husband is going to be career miltary and I like it that way. Some ladies hate the military life. It all depends on you.
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