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  #1  
January 29th, 2007, 12:23 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ok, so Im getting really depressed. For the past few days I have done nothing but cry... I really miss Jay and its getting harder the closer it gets for the baby to come. He only got a lousy 3 min phone call yesterday, and we didnt barely say anything. Its like I wait for him to call all day, and than totally blank out like a moron and dont know what to say. Ive just really come to the end of my rope, and dont feel like being supportive anymore. I just keep thinking if I would have just gotten a job so he could go to school, he would be here with us now. And I would rather he was here playing softball 7 days a week, than this.... It seems like he will be deployed soon after ait graduation, and Im having serious doubts that I can hold it together while hes gone. Im just so emotionally drained. Now I feel like a failure for having these thoughts. I dont feel like I can share any of this with him, becuase I dont want to bring him down or be a distraction to him. I think hes almost done with basic, but it keeps changing. I just really wish I could have more contact with him. Sorry for being such a big baby.... Im a terrible military wife
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  #2  
January 29th, 2007, 12:43 PM
klfc28
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Its all normal!!

I wasn't even a military wife yet and I had those feelings (and I wasn't about to have a baby either).

I kept those feelings in for a long time, and then would end up exploding at DH for nothing. Then we would talk it out. It really helped to talk it out with him and let him know how I was feeling. He always made me feel better by his reassurance that it wouldn't always be like this and he would make a stronger effort to keep me feeling connected to him.

I hope you feel better soon, and it might help writing him a letter with how you are feeling regardless if you mail it or not.
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  #3  
January 29th, 2007, 01:05 PM
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  #5  
January 29th, 2007, 01:09 PM
LaceyMommy2B
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Quote:
I hope you feel better soon, and it might help writing him a letter with how you are feeling regardless if you mail it or not.[/b]

i agree.. everytime i was upset n feeling that way.. i wrote DH a letter.. i usually felt so much better after i wrote it that i didnt even have to send it!

it is completely normal tho. i hated it when he was gone. i begged him to join, then hated him like once a week for listening to me. it gets better!! i promise!

i hope you feel better soon. just cry it out, and write about it!

oh yeah.. i was the same way about the phone calls.. JD would get like 2min, id be SOOO happy but once id be on the phone with him id just start bawling n instead of being supportive to HIM, hed be sitting there consoling me. he has never been upset with me about it.. infact he said that knowing how much i missed him helped him more than had i been all happy-happy-joy-joy.. so dont be afraid to let your feelings out in the phone calls!! try talking about the baby too.. JD hated being away with me preg as much as i did!!

but once again.. it gets better n i hope you feel better soon!!
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  #6  
January 29th, 2007, 01:12 PM
*KeLLy*
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It gets easier the more you go through. Somehow you go into automatic auto pilot and you think in your brain.. okay this isn't that bad and you start counting down the days instead of dwelling on them. Its kind of hard to explain. The longer your in this crazy life, the more acceptable and better your going to be able to handle it. Its hard for you to be pregnant and not have your husb around. I know I had to deal with it with mine. I think most of us has here. You'll get through it and be fine. You need to get out of the house and take yourself to a movie and dinner. I always found that makes me feel better.
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  #7  
January 29th, 2007, 01:14 PM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you so much girls!! I really dont know what I would do without you Its so great to have people understand what Im going through.
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  #8  
January 29th, 2007, 05:00 PM
ahillo5
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i begged him to join, then hated him like once a week for listening to me.[/b]

oh man, i did the same thing.. i'm still kicking myself and he's only at drill sgt school. bahh.


it's really hard knowing a baby's coming.. i really can't say much, cuz i've not had much experience with dh being gone but i'm sorry! and i'm here for you whatever you need just like all of us are. we post in here for moral support. we'll be there for you whatever you need hun! just hang in there!
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  #9  
January 29th, 2007, 06:22 PM
Mommy4x4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We all go through this every once in a while. It will get infinitely better once he's out of training and back home. Hang in there!
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  #10  
January 29th, 2007, 08:05 PM
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You are not a bad military wife! You are doing such a wonderful job! You have a lot going on over there and it's perfectly normal for you to be a little overwhelmed! Remember you thought you couldn't do it before he left and look at you!! You have been so strong and I know that Jay is super proud of you! I'm proud of you too! You know that I am here if you need anything!!!


YOU ARE DOING GREAT
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  #11  
January 30th, 2007, 05:26 AM
Rebecca^'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I still have a manilla envelope filled with letters to my dh that I never sent from when he was at basic and AIT.

On the bright side, we thought dh was deploying right after AIT and he ended up not going for over 2 years. He just left on his first deployment so you never know what is going to happen.

Also, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for!
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  #12  
January 30th, 2007, 09:40 AM
Jen25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for all the support!! I heart you all
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  #13  
January 30th, 2007, 10:16 AM
mrsroseblack's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It's ok... totally understandable. It's hard when you haven't really been apart but the military life is good... I have no complaints. It will be so much better once he has graduated basic and you can be together again with your new baby.
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  #14  
January 30th, 2007, 06:06 PM
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Jen,
I understand how you feel. I got the news about DH going TDY when it wasn't his rotation a few weeks before Sean was due, I begged him not to go, I told him I would take care of him, and he could stay at home and I would work. I hated he was in the military, after I had Sean I calmed down alot, and now I love DH job, and I love the fact he loves being in the military. I know I'm going on and on, but things will get better.
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  #15  
January 31st, 2007, 02:42 AM
Raela's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aww, hon, it's hard. Don't feel bad! It's ok to feel sad about it.

It's hard, but it DOES get better. My DH left for basic when we'd been dating for only 4 months. I knew he was leaving when I got into the relationship and still decided to give it a try. After basic, he had tech school, after that, he was moved to CA. For a year, we saw each other for about a week, ever 3-4 months. It was hard, but totally worth it. We're still together nearly 5 years later and still going strong. He's deployed on his first ever deployment right now and it's hard. I thought I'd be able to get through it just fine since we've been apart before, but it's different since he's overseas and not just a few states away. Time passes though and we get one day closer to being together again each and every day.

It's normal to feel sad and depressed. You WILL see him soon though and it will get better. It jsut takes some getting used to. You're NOT a bad military wife. Being a military spouse is HARD. I'm sure you're doing a fine job of it.
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  #16  
January 31st, 2007, 03:58 AM
Mattiez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So sorry you are having such a rough time. You will make it through this. You won't like it but you will make it through.

How much longer till he is through basic. Can we start a count down clock for you.

Just lots of hugs.
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  #17  
February 1st, 2007, 09:16 AM
M!che!!e's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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jenn i have recently been through this as you kno and i had these feelings the whole time. i, too, had letters that were never sent off. and on mothers day mike called and i broke down because it was my first mothers day and he was gone at basic. these feelings are normal and soon enough it will be over and you will realize how strong you were the whole time...

if ya need anything pm me.
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  #18  
February 1st, 2007, 03:22 PM
ReedsMama06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My DH went to basic about 6 months after we started dating. It was so hard for me, I was so depressed. I dont know what was so different about bootcamp than all the other times we have been separated, I guess it was that I never heard from him, and we had never been apart before that time. The whole military life was just brand new to me. I cant imagine going through it while pregnant. You are very strong. I guess I have just gotten used to it. And you will too, eventually. I hope you feel better soon.
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  #19  
February 1st, 2007, 06:17 PM
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Hang in there...your feelings sound totally normal to me. Its hard when they are away and you have to play "single mom" - especially when you are new to this lifestyle. I think when it comes right down to it you will find out stong you truly are. Almost everyone on here has been through at least one long deployment and while it sucks we're proof it can be done. Try not toworry about that now though. While you're right in thinking he could deploy soon after AIT you just never know. He could go to a unit that just got back from deployment and isn't scheduled to return for a year or more or something like that. The big rumer was my dh was going to leave as soon as AIT was over (in fact they shortened his training due to Sep 11th) but he actually didn't end up leaving till like 10 months later.
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