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People are so rude

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February 4th, 2009, 05:11 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
I just stopped by Walmart on the way home to pick up some FRER's for testing this weekend. And as im at the checkout the lady behind me (older than me but not old by any means maybe 40-45) is like "Are you hoping for a negative?" and I was so shocked and stunned that someone would even get into my business in the first place to even acknowledge I was buying pregnancy tests.... So I kinda laughed and then got a little mad and said "Why would you assume that I was hoping for that?" And her response shocks me, she says "Well, I dont know your just so young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" How completely rude is that? First off im 22 (and will be 23 this year) not some 16yr old, and second she has no idea who I am!!! Ive waited years to be ready to have a baby, gotten a wonderful job, built ourselves a new home...etc and I have to be confronted like this by a mean old witch????? It totally got me all heated and now im so mad and actually kind of sad that people automatically assume if you "look" young you cant be a mother. UGH
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW

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February 4th, 2009, 05:14 PM
Posts: n/a
Women like that (and men) I want to kick in the groin. IF you get a comment like that again, I bet you have a snappy comeback!

Btw, when we were TTC, Dustin bought our FRERs for this very reason. I would have ended up in jail
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February 4th, 2009, 05:17 PM
midnight_starr's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 8,130
That is just rude.. I would have told her off!
wife to Jeremiah
mommy to Adeline Louise
Baby #2 due January 2014!

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February 4th, 2009, 05:21 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 11,433
I agree, incredibly rude and uncalled for!

I look young for my age and you wouldn't believe the looks and comments I got when I was pregnant with Liam. Add to that the fact that my engagement ring is a sapphire and not a diamond so it doesn't look like a traditional engagement ring and that just upped the ante. So not only did I look young (I was 26/27) but I also looked "unattached."

People seriously need to learn to keep their big traps shut!!!

And I hate to tell you but it'll get worse once you are pregnant! Everyone and their mother comes out of the woodwork with their "advice" and comments.
Our angel baby forever missed--1/3/03

Ailish Laura born October 20th, 2012.
8lbs 12oz and 20.75 inches

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February 4th, 2009, 05:26 PM
Posts: n/a
I'm sorry she said that, it was extremely rude. I was 22 when I was pregnant and 23 when I had Reid. I think I look pretty young, but I actually never got any snide comments. I'm sure most people don't think that way....or at least, that's what I tell myself I was surprised at how many NICE comments I got. I think people thought I was cute You'll be the same way, that woman was a rare expection I promise you!
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February 4th, 2009, 05:27 PM
Oriyan's Avatar Platinum Superdupermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 10,467
Ugh i hate people like that! And trust me -- when you get pregnant and look young -- you get ALL sorts of rude comments. In the stores I get the looks a lot and someone commented to me in target on Tuesday.... "Oh, your just a baby having a baby!" (i was looking at playards) and I was like "Lady, im married and almost 26" and she walked away. People need to keep their big traps SHUT!!!
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February 4th, 2009, 05:52 PM
HopeWishWait's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,018
I get it ALL the time...SO rude and annoying and none of their business!! I would have told her off.

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February 4th, 2009, 06:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 8,100
I cannot even believe that anyone would make a comment like that to a perfect stranger!! how rude!
dont take it too seriously that lady needs to be minding her beeswax!
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February 4th, 2009, 07:00 PM
bittersweet's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 4,117
Just take it as a compliment for looking youthful!

I think when someone is rude and asks inappropriate questions...they often feel regretful when you answer very honestly. Like when she asked 'are you hoping for a negative', instead of saying 'what makes you think that' (that just gives her an oppurtunity to tell you what you already know she is going to say in response, making you more upset)...say something like, 'no my husband and i have been wanting a baby for while now' ....that will leave her with nothing but something nice to say.

Sorry you had to deal with that though. I would never say anything. Even if it was a 13 yr old with a test...nobody's business but her mamas m

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February 4th, 2009, 07:04 PM
IamMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,931
I wouldv'e said - "at least I don't work at Walmart" (no offense please to anyone who works at Walmart)

"Children too are a gift from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward."
Psalm 127:3

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February 4th, 2009, 07:15 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: So. California
Posts: 12,651
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At first I was thinking Maybe she was thinking that cause she was once in that same Situation. But then when you said you looked young then she can just shut her trap....People are so rude. I wpuld have snapped back at her so bad. I remember once When I was at the grocery with my Dad ( I was 13 ) the clerk asked me If I was Pregnant cause I was wearing a babydoll shirt. Letss just say I got the 'sex talk" when I got home...Thanks stupid lady!!! I mean seriously, who would think a young kid ( I know It's more common nowdays ) would be Pregnant?????
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February 4th, 2009, 07:30 PM
SandKmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: North Idaho
Posts: 30,101
I've never gotten it to my face this time around. Probably because for a 21yr old I look like I'm closer to 30.

But when I went to the ENT last week I had to do the normal new patient paper work. I look over the print out to "fix any errors on it" and see they have me listed as a Single, Smoking, Full time Student. I was kind of PO'd I asked where they got this info they said from my OB. I ask my OB's office today and the secretary gets an odd look and says no we have you married, non smoker and non student...the ENT's office just made it up and probably because they saw the birth year of 1987 and assumed that of course I wasn't married and had to be a smoker and student.


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February 4th, 2009, 08:17 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ID
Posts: 13,200
Gosh how rude is that!!! I know that's how some people think and that's just so sad. It's none of their business! I wish you would've said more. She was probably just jealous cuz you were so cute! I wouldn't be surprised if i get responses like that when i'm preggo too, since i'm young

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February 4th, 2009, 08:40 PM
BambolinaItaliana's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,338
I got that so much with my first pregnancy I use to cry all the time. BUt like you we had taken many steps before, to get my DD! I even had my OB/GYN ask me, it made me feel so mad for people to look at me with pity, when all I wanted to do was smack them!

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February 4th, 2009, 11:14 PM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Depends on the day....Earth :D
Posts: 28,951
*mouseslaps the lady* Rude people are universal also---they should just put them all on one island!
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February 5th, 2009, 04:20 AM
Mars's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Barbados
Posts: 18,988
*mouseslaps the lady* Rude people are universal also---they should just put them all on one island![/b]

I'm 30 and guess I don't look like it so I've had a few comments (not many) regarding my age and you should see the shock on people's faces. I would even catch people glancing down at my hand to see if I was wearing a ring. At the hospital, one mother there said I looked like a school girl...I thought she was blind because even though I appear younger than 30, I look no means like a teenager! Then yesterday Andre, I and the baby went out and people kept looking at me weird, like I was too young to have a baby. They didn't say anything but I could kinda tell they were thinking something like that.

Thank you Helen for my beautiful siggy!
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February 5th, 2009, 05:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,778
It's still amazing how all up in your business people can be! I too look young for my age and more than half the time don't put on my wedding rings--so I can only imagine what kind of remarks I might get if I ever get pregnant...
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February 5th, 2009, 05:29 AM
LisanAndy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Hagerstown, MD
Posts: 23,058
I totally understand! I got comments during my whole pregnancy (I was 19 when I got preggo with Taylor and 20 when I had her) about how she must have been an accident and everyone tried to tell me how challenging motherhood is. Then because I'd never held a newborn before everyone "just knew" I was going to have a hard time and that I better get some practice because it's about to become my life. It was SOOO rude! I was with Andy for almost 4 years at that point, married for 5 months when I found out I was preggo, DH and I had good jobs, and we could support a baby. Forget all of them! I love having them come back to me now and tell me what a good mom I am... IN YOUR FACE PEOPLE!

Is baby Aubrey Alana or Jacob Robert?!

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February 5th, 2009, 06:06 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: VA
Posts: 9,304
Just popping over here to say that people can be so rude. Some of them dont know how to say... ummmm... NOTHING! I'm 24, and look like I'm about 17 (on a good day) I even got carded to buy a lottery ticket (min. age is 18... sad, I know). I've never been pregnant but I can really imagine how you must have felt. I would've told her off something good to let her know that she better second guess the next time she says something like that out of her mouth, even if it did come out politely. Thats just me though.

You guys have probably built a better foundation than that lady had when she was our age, shoot probably better than most people have when they're our age. I hope you get you really soon!
Cheley - Mommy of 1 cute DD (BFP 8/4/09 @ 11dpo) Born: 4/20/10
TTC #2 (6/2015): Sept 2015 - EP @ 5 weeks, lost right tube
Mar 2016 - EP, MTX
July 2016 - CP
IVF - Jan/Feb 2017
ER (2/2)- 14 retrieved ALL mature; 12 fertilized normally
ET (2/7) - xfer 1 5AA blast, 8 5AA/5AB frozen
BFP @ 3.5dp5dt **Stick Baby Stick***
1st Beta (2/21) ): 3768!!!2nd Beta (2/23): 7313!!!U/S (3/3): 1 Bop @ 111bpm! U/S (3/13): 150bpm Baby Boy Due Date: 10/26/17
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February 5th, 2009, 06:12 AM
CandaceDianne's Avatar Lilyan's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Georgia
Posts: 8,549
Oh my gosh, Ashley!!! I can't believe someone said that to you! Just brush her inconsiderate comment off and get to testing this weekend!

Born June 5, 2010
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