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Question for you Graduates...

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November 29th, 2007, 10:30 AM
Julia'sMommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 479
First and foremost, to all of you ttcal graduates, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You must all be so thrilled to finally be preggers!!! I can't wait to be in that boat with you all... I will also welcome any and all vomiting, heartburn, gas, bloating, constipation, exhaustion, etc, etc, etc,.... the list could go on for miles, I'm sure!

I have a question for you ladies though... How are you feeling now that you are pregnant, after having had a loss? How recent were your losses?

I worry that I will be so scared and paranoid all the time... Is that a sign that maybe I'm not ready to start ttc yet? I know that with every pregnancy, there is a chance for loss, but after already experiencing it, how do you feel now?

I had a m/c on Nov 17th, and am starting to feel somewhat normal again (although there will alway be that place in my heart that will ache for that little bean). I really want to give my body one cycle before we try again, but even though I think my body and soul is ready (or just about), I still have this huge fear about a m/c happening again... Does that ever let up?

I don't know how women deal with this over and over again... My heart truly goes out to them. The strenghth they have to continue on is amazing...
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November 29th, 2007, 11:20 AM
MelissaT1973's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Tarpon Springs, FL
Posts: 1,771
I can't lie, I probably let the fear of m/c creep in my mind for at least a fleeting moment nearly everyday. However most of the day I spend being positive and thinking healthy thoughts.

Right now I am only 7 weeks exactly, which is around the point I was at with my m/c although we didn't discover it until my 12 week u/s that the fetus had not grown past 7-8weeks. I had a D&C on August 18, 2007. My first normal AF started Oct. 2 and I had a BFP Nov. 6.

As far as knowing if your ready, only you will truly know in your heart when you feel ready to accept the possiblity of being pg again. The fear of m/c will most likely strike you at moments whether you wait a month, a year, or whatever. Many women who have never experienced a m/c have that fear.

GL to you when you decide the time is right to TTC!

Our beautiful girls, Savannah, Delaney, and Avery

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November 29th, 2007, 11:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 4,014
I think having a m/c kinda prepared me more for pregnancy. I know i am now more ready to be pregnant than i was before. I understand more of the risks and difficulties. I also think i am more thankful this time than i would have been last time for the little milestones. Having an early m/c i didn't really get to experience any milestones. For example this time i actually got to my first app. For a lot of people that might sound silly but to me it gives me hope knowing ive at least made it further than last time, and ive gotten to experience that much more joy. Also this time i have a lot more symptoms and as much as my hormones are telling me to hate them i am actually thankful that i "feel" more pregnant. I am surprisingly not really scared or paranoid right now. I know that this child is in God's hands and whatever his will is for this baby I need to accept. I also know that my first baby is held in God's arms and that gives me peace. I think that that motherly instinct takes over in telling me not to stress because its not good for the baby. I will always miss my first baby and i will probably always wish there could have been a different outcome for him/her, but life happens and you have to be thankful for what you do have and that is what gives you hope.

Thanks Claire for my awesome siggy!!

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November 29th, 2007, 11:57 AM
Julia'sMommy's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 479
I feel that emotionally, I'm ready to start ttc again. We are both just so anxious to start our family. But I want to do my best to hold off this month so that I can get in at least one regular cycle. I figure that will give me a better chance of a healthy pregnancy. I can say that we aren't actively ttc this month (no planning/timing), but when we DTD, we aren't protecting so if it's meant to be, I guess it'll be..

This m/c was our second. However, the first was almost 8 years ago so I've been able to successfully convince myself that the two aren't connected in any way and this one was just an unfortunate coincidence, if that makes any sense at all.

EmilyRenee, I agree about the whole appreciating each small step forward more with a pregnancy after loss. I'm not there yet, but I know that when the time comes, each day that brings me past the point at which I lost the last baby will be a day I'm thanking God for.

I can say that this next time around, I WILL NOT be POAS until my period is so late that I can't possibly anything but pregnant. That way, if another chemical pg takes place, I won't know about it.. I might suspect, but I'd rather suspect and not know than know and have that heartache all over again.

I almost wish I knew someone who had a miscarriage before so that I could talk to them about it. No one I know has, and that makes conversation frustrating at times...

Thanks for the input girls... I appreciate any bit of insight and hope you all can give
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December 1st, 2007, 09:00 AM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
Posts: 13,040
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it has been almost 14 months since my loss.....and the fear gets me every once in awhile that it could happen again....
I am thrilled I have made it to 9 wks 3days, without major issues.....but I still worry.
I waited a long time to ttc again, and I think it was the fear that made me wait....sometimes I wish I would have tried sooner, but I truly believe this is the way God meant it to be for us.

You will know in your heart when you are ready again hon.....and just know that we are ALL here for you.....
so yes you do know women who have been through it.....we are all in this together, for the good times and bad.....no matter what.!!

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December 2nd, 2007, 08:06 PM
Mum2three's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: St. John's Newfoundland
Posts: 5,748
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Im not going to lie, but i still think about it. Always checking the toilet paper to make sure that theres nothing there. I lost my son at 18 weeks along on Feb, 15, 2007.. and Before hand i lost my daughter on July 30,2006. But all that i keep thinking is my little children are looking over me. and they arent going to let anything happen this time around. They are my guardian angels. But u just have to take each step for what its worth. and remember that a loss is a loss, no matter what. but they are hanging over your shoulders laughing at you when your gas comes up..lol..It hurts big time. Your heart has to be in the right place for ttc. I know mine wasnt. And it took me forever to conceive this baby. but soon as i let go i was pregnant. I still have my children with me. If you are unsettled about having another baby i would wait till your heart and body tells you Go a head. thats what i did. I have made it to 7 weeks and 4 days. i think im farther along but the u/s will tell the truth..

Good luck to you hun, and we are all here for you. no matter what hugs!

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