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how do i deal with his ex wife

Forum: Blended Families


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August 2nd, 2004, 05:59 PM
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: dracut mass
Posts: 8
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i have been a step mother for about 3 years give or take some months ..lol... i am running into a problem with everything the ex does... the child is 14, shes a sweet heart.. but i cant handle the ex wife.. britt (Step daughter) comes to me and tells me she has a tooth ach its leading to head aches.. i ask to see her mouth, shes got seriouse nasty teeth.. so i take her to the dentest.. shes got 9 cavities and 4 teeth that needs to be removed.. i called the state after making 4 dentest apointments to take care of her mouth (since her birth mother is obviasly neglecting her) .. she calls me 1 1/2 months later telling me shes now taking her to the dentest and shes not letting me take her to the appointment i have already. state says as long as shes taking her i cant do nothing about it.. ..... state tells me to take her..... and now they tell me if mom is doing it.. just make sure she goes.. cancel the apointments for the reasons birth mother wont let u take her.. and have hubby file a modification in the divorce order... .. i think im ready for a swift kick in the head.... :boxing: .. to boot the state tell him to tell the ex wife that we have called them.. and she says " and what are they going to do.. try to take her away"

do i ignore the fact the kids needs medical needs or
do i nag the ex wife ..

she dont seem to help her kid untill she feels threated by someone
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August 2nd, 2004, 07:42 PM
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 875
Honestly? I'd be a real beeotch until she got the medical care she needed, and I wouldn't let up for a second until she followed through. Good lord, ESPECIALLY with this poor girl being in one of the most trying stages of life (the teen years), she's GOT to be feeling a bit self conscious, and more importantly, tooth decay that isn't taken care of can lead to infections throughout the body. My experience with dealing with the state has been to MAKE YOUR PRESENCE KNOWN and keep on them. They're far less likely to turn the other cheek if you don't let up, and someone needs to be a responsible parent to this girl if her mother isn't stepping in.

Good luck to you! I think it's awesome that you're taking the initiative to help her out when she needs someone most!
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August 2nd, 2004, 10:11 PM
klein.Mama.mich's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Insanity Villa
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Personally, I would take the child. Mostly for my own records. You would have documented proof of what she needs and if it is not resolved, you have something to back the claim. But that is just me..
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August 3rd, 2004, 02:55 AM
Goodnu2003's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Manchester N.H.
Posts: 1,352
I agree,I would take her myself...If her mom waited this long and she has 9 cavitis and 4 to be removed it doesnt sound like mom was working fast enough to get it taken care of...IMO I would take her!!
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August 5th, 2004, 10:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,774
I too would take her to at least have the cavities filled before they all need to be pulled. This just pisses me off. Dads usually get the bad wrap and look at this mom. Whats up? If he dad was suppose to take her and didn't you know the courts would be all over him. See I could go on and on but I won't. I would just take her and get 1 or 2 cavaties filled and see if the mom comes thru and get the rest finished.
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August 9th, 2004, 09:53 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Central Pa
Posts: 2,156
Do both parents carry dental insurance for her? If they do, I would take her myself, and bill her moms insurance.

We run into that problem here also. My s-kids mom has never taken them to the dentist or the doctor. We just do it because it needs to be done.
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