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Forum: Blended Families


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November 16th, 2008, 07:27 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
this weekend was the3rd weekend that mia goes to her dads. He picked her up 20 min late saturday and dropper her off 40 min late today! I called the police to see if I could make some kind of report and they said i could but really it would be useless because it is my word against him. They said to call the friend of court to set a court date. Im just soo frustrated. You know my daughter called me today and I didnt answer because I knew that the reason was because he told her to call and ask if she could stay til tomorrow knowing I would say no so therefore putting her in the middle once again. She left a voicemail saying mommy will you please call me....pause....dont lie! what the hell does that mean? I heard mumbling in the back ground so I believe it was coached. I dont get it. I am calling foc tomorrow and asking what should I do. I am so mad...then they straightened my daughters hair with a flat iron!!! HELLO she is 5!!!! That really ticked me off. Everyone says dont let it bother me but its continuous!!! I finally told DF what has been going on and he was in shock. He said he didnt realize how bad it has gotten. He thought I just was letting him piss me off. I told him I dont like to talk about that crap with him because I dont know if he thinks I am being crazy or what. He said he didnt think that so I feel a little better but man!!! Im just so upset. I couldnt see the lawyer, they canceled so I didnt get no help there. whatever I just needed to vent


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November 17th, 2008, 07:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 2,091
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I'm sorry things are so hard on you with your ex. I've BTDT with the SD's hair only with ours, she freaking colors it! When I met them they were 9 and 10 and she colored their hair blonde...every time I see them they have a different hair color. I found out later the reason she does that is because the chemicals in the dye kill lice and the girls are CONSTANTLY infested! So instead of doing what she is supposed to and teating the infestation and treating the house, she colors their hair and calls it good. Needless to say, they never get rid of them because she never treats the house--doesn't even wash the sheets! Some bio-mother's are complete idiots when it comes to their children and she is definitely one of those. I agree with you that 5 yrs old is a little young to be messing up their hair with flat irons and anything else like that. Young children have such soft, healthy hair...why would anyone want to damage it with flat irons? (or chemicals) IDIOTS!
Keep hanging in there and vent here all you want...
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November 20th, 2008, 08:26 AM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Suffolk, Virginia
Posts: 3,058
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I would be so angry. There is no reason that a 5 year old needs to have her hair flattened. I think that is just a really mean thing to have your child call you so that you can be made out to be the bad guy. I am sorry that you are going through all of this. It is not fair.

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November 20th, 2008, 01:52 PM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dreamland...........
Posts: 2,644
It's very sad to see the problems that arise from such situations. I think it needs patience and understanding from both sides in order to workout. Or at least common ground and maybe a little positive attitude. Negativity only brings out negativity. For example my DH and me pick up or drop off DSD 1 hour late sometimes more, and whenever she called mom to stay 1 more day it was always her own idea when we told her it was time to go. Of course being late in picking her or dropping her of is never ever in order to piss the mom off, but because sometimes life gets the best of us and doesn't allow us to be so typical. The mom understands though, or at least never made a fuss over it. As for staying over she usually says no, but it's ok, it is the little one's right to ask i think. Now as to the iron on her hair, i personally would never do it on a 5 year old, but maybe the reasons behind this are other than your pending frustration. Communicate this with you ex.... I am sure it will get resolved....

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November 20th, 2008, 04:50 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
Actually the first time it was done, I did talk to the ex about it, there lies the problem. He already told me that hes going to do whatever he wants to do and I cant say **** about it! My daughter told me that she told them she didnt want her hair straightened and he told her she had to. His response on why, because he wanted to. As far as being late, I understood the first 3 weekends, but now it is about the 4th month I have been going through this. No calls, nothing! My life cannot revolve around him and he has told me before that regardless he is always going to have control over my life. I have work, I do not stay home, I also have other things I have to do. Waiting for him is not an option.
Her staying was not an issue until I told her no 1 time and he said something to her along the lines that I was doing it just to be mean (i heard with my own ears) and I knew the game he was playing after that. The truth is we had a doctors appointment for school the following day. Mia just told me and DF that we are not aloud to hug and kiss each other because daddy says I (me) can only hug and kiss him! Where would my 5 year old come up with that? I understand that life happens. But I do not understand the inconsideration. no calls to say hey we will be a lil late? Whatever the case things will never be resolved with him, just like they were never when we were together! I am really trying and now Im just tired. I am running a marathon and I am just tired. No matter what I do, I am wrong. Well whatever. Thanks for responding ladies all opinions or comments do matter, and they do help me see every aspect of every side.

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November 21st, 2008, 07:58 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Sigh... what seems normal to me may be out there to others. In this case, flat iron to a child's hair, I don't think it's right, but I don't have a daughter so I guess I don't know what I would do in that situation.

I really hate it when parents have the CHILD do their dirty work for them. LEAVE THE CHILD OUT OF THE CO-PARENTING!!! A child shouldn't be the go-between, they shouldn't be the messenger, they shouldn't be the deliverer of ANY news & the child shouldn't be the one who is trying to resolve ANY issues. Co-parenting, between 2 parents, not 2 parents, a child & a grandmother & cousin, and aunt... blah! That's not it. It's about the 2 people who are parenting the child(ren). Insane.

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