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Forum: Blended Families


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November 28th, 2008, 10:37 PM
charmed_mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,482
I mostly stick to the March 06 PG, but I am attempting to venture out just a bit. A bit of info on me. I was with my childrens father for 8 years...married for 5. We split up Jan 08. (Our divorce is due to be final this coming week)

During this time he has had two steady girlfriends. #1 is the one he left us for and immediately moved in with who turned completely stalker/psycho...literally

He is currently with #2 who is from what I can tell from the kids and things I have heard, very nice. She lives 2 hours away and they are taking things slow (compared to girlfriend #1)

I on the other hand didn't even attempt to date until about 6 months into the divorce. Thats when I found my first love (the man I was with before my husband and let get away) He moved all the way down from Wisconsin to be with me and the kids. And things there are producing amazingly. We actually plan on being married next fall.

The hard part is, the kids going between our house and their dads house. He has no rules, feeds them lots of candy and fast food, soda...ya know. They don't have a set bed time ect.

So when they are back with me, it's chaos getting them back into their routine. Our visitations are set up where I get them the 1st and 3rd weekend of every month (Along with every week day) and he just has them the 2nd and 4th weekend. So they are over 75% of the time with me as they live with me during the week. But even those two days he has them is heck on us because that disrupts EVERYTHING. They always come home tired from staying up til 1am or later. They are always begging for soda, fast food or candy (which we don't eat period).

How do you handle the transition from your house to theirs and back again??
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November 29th, 2008, 03:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 709
Well welcome to the board. Im amber (25) with DF David (39) and mother to Mia (5). My ex has her the first 3 weekends of the month and in the beginning it was sooooo hard to deal with it. He doesnt feed her whatever or anything like that but he lies to her and he was buying her a surprise all the time so she expected it when she came home. David pretty much handled the situation by sternly explaining to her things are not the same here and there. As soon as mia got it and went back and told her dad, the surprises stopped (he figured it wasnt bugging me anymore so he stopped). Im not really good at some things cuz I hold a lot of anger towards him but david knows how to explain a lot.

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November 30th, 2008, 07:31 AM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Suffolk, Virginia
Posts: 3,058
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Welcome. I am Becca one of the hosts here. I have been married to Kally for almost 8 years. I have Sadie 9 from a previous relationship. And together we have Lilly 7 and Gabriel 3.

Sadie doesn't see her birthfather or have any contact with him. Kally is going to adopt her as soon as we come up with the money.

I also grew up in a blended family. Whichever parent I was living with during the week I went to the other ones house everyother weekend if not more. Whenever I wanted I went. As far as rules...my parents talked about the important ones and those were good for both homes. Is there anyway that you could talk to him and say..hey there are a few things that worry me about the kids like bed times and food intake. That is what I would suggest if you have that kind of a relationship with him.

If not wait for Chantelle or Dani to post because they are great with advice...lol

Anyway Welcome to the board and please stick around because we would love to have you!

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November 30th, 2008, 10:46 AM
charmed_mommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,482
Talking with my ex is complicated. He either will listen or he will get defensive and ticked off. Just depends on what day you catch him on. He always tells me the kids are always great at his house and never get in trouble. Well duh he doesn't have rules for them so they get by with whatever they want. Jumping off the couch for instance. They attempt to do it here, and I put them in time out. They get mad and tell me they want to live with daddy cause he lets them jump off the couch. Bedtime is 8pm here on school nights 9pm on weekends unless it's a special occasion then I let the two boys stay up and watch a movie with me and Michael. When going to bed they get all mad, say they want to live with dad cause he lets them go to bed when they want. It's just frustrating. I have never had to go through this before so I don't know exactly how to handle it. Michael helps, but he too hasn't gone through it to know how to deal either.
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November 30th, 2008, 01:16 PM
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