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Forum: Blended Families


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March 29th, 2006, 10:48 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
i was just wondering what everyone thinks..do you consider me a homewrecker? so heres what has been going on and how it all started..three years ago i was in a chat room and my now boyfriend instant messaged me and we kept talking..i wasnt really interested in him but thought we could be good friends and him being 15+ years older then me with a kid (also living with his daughter mother) i thought it would never work out..but a friendship would never hurt...well so a couple of months passed by and i still wasnt really interested in him so much that i wanted to go out with him i barely new him!..well he wanted to meet but i kept putting it off (for like a year i did!) and we pretty much kept in touch online and the phone (funny thing is he lived not even 10 mins away!) so over that year i started to like him and gave him my address and he would send me cards and stuff animals and even put a stuff animal at my door one night ..so we finally met up (he was still living with his daughters mother- but said he was only there so that he could be there for his daughter) and everything went great and he gave me a kiss on the cheek before leaving..so the next day we were talking and well he doesnt have the greatest hearing but his girlfriend(should i say girlfriend or daughters mother? i dont no what she was really) was listening to him talk and he was telling me how he had a fun time talking and i was cute and bla bla bla and she caught him!..she started yelling when we were on the phone and he said hell talk to me later and hung up..i didnt no what to think..so she ends up kicking him out because she didnt want him talking to other girls and a couple of weeks we started going out...i no this is three years ago but i cant help but think that all the problems he is having with his ex girlfriend to see his daughter is because of me.. am i homewrecker? he did tell me that they were over but he never really told her he was just living there to be with his daughter...i always felt bad but i cant change the past...what to u guys think??

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March 30th, 2006, 11:20 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 573
(he was still living with his daughters mother- but said he was only there so that he could be there for his daughter)[/b]
hahaha okay now that has to be up there on the "obvious lies" list....

I will not call you a homewrecker because he was not direct and honest with either of you...he may have only been there for his DD but judging from your story SHE (mother) was not clued in and in her eyes when she caught him chatting with you, he was committing a relationship felony.....you are not to blame for that...

I am curious that you still datd him knwoing how dishonest he was with his last woman...in the year or so you guys chatted and got to know each other were there any restrictionson when you could call, any obvious patterns (he only called around a certain time of day, etc etc) Did you ever ask about the sleeping arrangements? If a man told me he lived with his child and her mom I would for sure want to know who was sleeping where and I would make sure it was nothing NOTHING before he and I had ANYTHING.

It seems like you just got caught up in it. And you are not to blame. And the mother needs to be mature and not try and keep him from his child just because she is mad she got cheated on...while I understand the feeling it is not right to keep a man from his child unless he is some danger to them and he just seems to be catching flack for being deceitful and dishonest when he was with her.

I hope he stands up for himself and gets his visitation or joint custody. But don't feel like a homewrecker, you didn't know, or you just believed what he told you...

But rule of thumb...if a man sys he is doing something "just for the kids" chances are that is not his only reason....especially when it comes to living with a woman he is not even married to....

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