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When will she grow up?

Forum: Blended Families


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March 9th, 2010, 01:15 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
We received a letter in the mail (because we carry the health insurance) for my DSS in regards to him seeing a physician back in December for a small cut on his hand.

I am sure you all have seen similar letters from insurance companies asking if a recent visit to a certain doctor or ER had/has anything to do w/ someone else. Because the bottom line is that, regardless of health care coverage, the insurance companies would like to have someone else pay the claim (like if someone was in a car accident, hurt at work etc.). No biggie, I've seen these letters, I've responded to them a ton of times, and never have given it a second thought.

I called my DH to ask him about a recent date/claim, b/c I didn't have any personal recollection as to why my DSS was seen in the first place. He explained the "cut" on his hand. He called his ex & she went postal on him. She said, and I quote "______is my son, she is not his mother, if anyone wants information on _____ they will go through me & me only"....

DH said "can you fax her the info"? Yeah, I could...but she has no rights to contact the company b/c she is not the carrier of the insurance (my DH is) & she isn't on the insurance plan. I realize that she is concerned about us asking something but the bottom line is, this had/has NOTHING to do w/ my DSS. What this DOES have to do w/ is our insurance company questioning the claim to make sure that someone else isn't liable. Insurance companies are like this, I deal w/ it a lot & never thought twice.

Today, she flipped out & now is causing DRAMA w/ my DH. I don't care about her "drama" w/ my DH, but when my DH gets on the phone w/ me & starts to raise his voice & take his frustrations out on me, then I have a problem. I am the middle man, I fill out the papers, I respond to what ever is necessary, and this is no different. DH's ex-wife needs to remove the fact that a claim is being questioned about her son, and realize that the claim is being questioned just like everything else, to make sure that another person is not liable for what ever reason.

Grrrr...... as if I needed this extra B.S. today. She needs to grow up, at almost 40, seriously, stop the drama, stop making this as if it's brand new, stop going crazy & saying that I am (meaning me) trying to take over as DSS' bio-mom. It's not the case. I've seen my DSS, honestly, like 5 times last year, I'll say 10 to be generous. I never see him, ever. I don't know him, I don't have a desire to take over as his mother, ever. I have 3 bio-kids of my own, my own DS w/ an ex to deal w/, I don't really give a rat's behind about anything else. I do care about my DSS, obviously I would be ready & willing to care for him if anything happened to her & DSS came to live w/ us, but that's it. I am not his mother, I am not trying to be his mother, never was, and I really wish she'd get over this "I AM HIS MOTHER" and go ape on everyone. I want to shake her & say "grow up!" obviously I wont ever touch or talk to her, I have no desires, I will not converse w/ her either. No desires. She's drama & I don't need it.

That's my "DRAMA" w/ my blended family issue today. Figured I'd share so you all do no think I am in a perfect situation. Far from it.


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March 9th, 2010, 01:54 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Just to add, my DH asked his ex-wife about a medical incident that happened back in Dec. of 09', he, as his biological father, who has joint legal custody, every single right, to ask questions regarding his son's health, or medical treatment, he has every right to ask for a second opinion & voice his concerns. And not just medical, educational, religious, everything, yet he is ALWAYS treated as if he is not to be considered. She does (ex-wife/bio-mom to my DSS) what she wants & tells my DH after the fact or the day of, she expect him to just sit back & never say anything? Seriously, that is the dumbest thing. I just thought of that, I'd HOPE to God that my DH "would" be asking questions regarding his son instead of not.

I thought I'd add this b/c I sat back & thought for a minute that even "IF" this was directly about my DSS (my DH's bio-son from his previous marriage), he has a right to ask questions, and as many as he wants! The fact that this issue wasn't about the child, but a claim that needed clarification, to me, I just can't believe that she has a-tude about this.

She told DH "I want her to fax me that right now"...yeah...keep asking biznatch
b/c I am faxing NOTHING to her I am not going to give her anything b/c the paperwork includes my name, my diagnosis, my recent issues, etc. She has no rights to any of it. We pay the premiums for my DSS "and" half of all uncovered medical expenses. She has no bills to worry about, seriously, get a freaking clue woman. Not going to listen to her crying or complaining anymore...


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March 9th, 2010, 02:32 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
Ugghhh! How frustrating!

We're in a similar situation. Bio mom forgets that Dh has joint custody which means an equal say in how his dds are raises. She just wants him to send the check and nothing more.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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March 9th, 2010, 02:45 PM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Originally Posted by my2miracles View Post
she just wants him to send the check and nothing more.

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