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Dead beat dad... no longer dead beat after 9 years!!

Forum: Blended Families


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July 28th, 2010, 02:31 PM
Momeejenjen's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Spring Hill, TN
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Omigoodness, I could have never imagined!

Okay so quick back story...

My son was born when I was 18, I was dating a 22 year old guy who couldn't keep a job and was just not to great.

When I found out I was pregnant I called to let him know. He wanted me to have an abortion, I told him no. He pretty much broke up with me and then when I was about 5-6 months pregnant he started coming back into my life again, but not consistantly.

When my son was born and I called to tell him, he didn't bother to come to the hospital to see him. Once we got home he came by on 3 different occassions, that third time was when Micah was just 3 months old... that was the last time we ever saw him.

It's been 9 years... after some question of paternity getting cleared up, my husband wanted to adopt my son, to give him a sense of belonging. I contacted a lawyer and was told that basically we could proceed with out contacting his biolgical father but it would be more difficult... more court dates and more cost. I decided I would try to contact him to have him sign over his rights with out having to go through more court costs and dates.

After a couple weeks of searching I finally found his mom on facebook. I wrote her a little message and explained the situation and asked her to have her son contact me.

I was not prepared for what came next...

2 days later I get a phone call from him. Basically the conversaton went as that he regretted the last 9 years, he felt so bad. He said that when I contacted his mom, he saw my son's pictures on my facebook and he started crying, he couldn't believe how much he's missed. He said that he had thought about my son many times over the course of the years but he just didn't know what to do.

He explained that he was now married and had a 3 year old daughter, explained that he was a different man. He said that he was willing to sign over the rights if I thought that was the best for my son, but that he was really wanting to become a part of his life... to add to his life, not take from it.

I told him we would think about it... I talked with my husband and we decided that it would be best for his biological father to be apart of his life, and not sign over his rights... as long as he was willing to give it his all and actually be there, disappointing him now could be very damaging.

I explained to my son the situation and asked him what he wanted and of course he wanted to meet him right then and there... I contacted my ex and let him know of our choice, he was so excited. He ended up talking to my son on the phone that evening and we set up a meeting with everyone the next evening.

It went so well! His new wife is SO sweet and friendly and he has changed so much. His little girl is so precious, looks a lot like my son.

I think this is all going to work out really well. I haven't asked about support or anything yet, I really don't want to hinder the relationship based on money, I am hoping that maybe he will step up and offer something.

This is my son and his little sister he just met that night.

My son and his biological father
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July 28th, 2010, 02:58 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 115,721
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I was wondering how your situation turned Jen! So glad it went well!
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July 29th, 2010, 11:24 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
That's great!

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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