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Helmets... and lessons... really?

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October 25th, 2010, 08:48 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
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First question would be, who here makes their children wear a bike helmet when they drive their bikes?

Second questions would be, is it a state law where you live that they in fact SHOULD/NEED to be wearing a bike helmet (even if you don't make your kids wear a bike helmet?).....?

Here's my story

DSS, was at the house about a month ago, wanting to ride the bike but b/c I said "no helmet no bike" he refused to ride the bike b/c only g*y people wore helmets. Nice. My kids (my bio-kids that is) all wear helmets, there is NO reason NOT too, aside from they save lives to it's the law here in MA.

Last Sunday (not this past Sunday but the one prior)... DH got a phone call, that DSS had once again, ran away (as usual) from his bio-mom's house, and she got a call from the paramedics that DSS had gotten hit from a car on his bike ... first reaction is OMG, is he alive?!?!? Is he okay?

Long story short, he's fine, not a scratch on him, his bike didn't have a dent on it either. He went to a very busy intersection/mall area that I even have a hard time to get too w/ my vehicle. He went there, w/ out permission & w/ out a helmet. He didn't get hurt, a person (young lady) had hit him in reverse at 20 mph., he was VERY lucky.

Problem #1 w/ this... before this happened, when he was at my house & called my kids "g*y" for riding their bikes w/ helmets on, my DSS' bio-mom said to me & I quote "I've gone back & forth w/ this & toyed w/ the idea but none of his friends wear one & he doesn't fit in"... etc... so aside from the fact that she knew he'd be breaking the freaking law, she was on board w/ the fact that it's okay to try to "fit in" by breaking the law & taking a chance on him dying in a car accident. What ever.... stupid, seriously. My DH, said, I was overstepping my boundaries when I told her that it was against the law & he needed to wear a helmet, even YESTERDAY when they wanted to ride their bikes!

So let's review. The child almost died, he is VERY lucky & the parents still don't get it? To me, that was a warning, to wear the helmet, and then bio-mom had said "I can't make him wear one when I'm out & he's home alone"...uh...yes she can, she can take the bike & remove the wheels from the bike & make it so he can't ride it! He may still go places he shouldn't be going (and we all did at 13) but at least he will be less likely to die in a crash on a freaking highway where bikes are NOT allowed & he is not wearing a helmet too! How about that?

Then it gets worst. My DSS, that night of the original incident (accident) went on FB & said that he got hit by a car while riding his bike, that it was "epic"...cool & he wanted to go on the show "Jack a*s"! I wrote back to him & said he was being ridiculous & I wanted to superglue a helmet to his head & he wasn't taking his life seriously.

But this is what makes me even more irritated. My DH & his ex-wife, they're acting like they can't control him. How about taking his XBox, DSI, PSP & cell phone away from him? How about removing the wheels from his bike? how about that? This way, he is unable to play w/ his fun stuff, his electronics & not text & all that stuff. How about not rewarding the child? They're wanting to buy him a iPod Touch for his Birthday. My DH said "let's go half w/ her"...I finally told her that we don't have the $, we didn't even spend that $ on my DS who just turned 10, on 10-10-10 a few weeks' ago. I spent $50 on the kid, and he's my first born & it was a very special occasion! I didn't have a party for him, he had no friends over, no nothing! My entire family chipped in for a present, 1 large present, he got 1 present, a cake & pizza w/ immediate family. Period. But I'm suppose to spend almost $150 on my DSS for an iPod touch when we need to pay our freaking bills? How about spending money on oil to heat our home? Costs us around $600 to fill our tank & it's due in a couple of weeks. Hmmmmm... what makes more sense here? Oil to heat our home? or an iPod touch (another gadget that a child doesn't need, especially after running away from his mother's house, multiple times, getting poor grades in school, the list goes on) for my DSS for his Birthday? I think it makes a heck more sense to buy oil to heat our home. WTH?

So what's your take on this helmet or lack there of?

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October 25th, 2010, 09:19 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Location: Taneytown, MD
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Yes, my kids all wear helmets. No helmet no riding, and that goes for any kid that visits my house, even friends of my kids. It's the law in the city I live in and the a state law as well. Local police can (and will) confiscate the bikes of kids who are not wearing helmets.

Perhaps you should show this picture to your DSS. This is my oldest two kids younger brother (my ex-husband's son). He's 16 and was visiting a friend's house and riding his bike. He was hit by a car, thrown from his bike and landed in the ICU for 4 weeks. He's still not fully recovered and this accident happened in June. He lost his front teeth, and still struggles to remember things and people. He's permanently changed. Why? Because he was too cool to wear a helmet.

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October 25th, 2010, 10:02 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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They know, they've seen pictures, but...I guess they don't care. What's it going to take? Him being in a wheelchair or 6 ft under?

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October 25th, 2010, 10:08 AM
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My husbands kids' must wear their helmets. No helmet, no bike. I think it's the law here, I saw something at the doctors office about police ticketing kids $150 if they're caught riding without a helmet.
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October 25th, 2010, 10:21 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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It's interesting that you mention the kid's doctor's office. Must be a thing b/c my kid's doctor's office, they have over 30 rooms & in EVERY SINGLE ROOM, since 2000, I've seen the SAME photograph of the SAME child w/ a shaved head, stitches & how he wasn't wearing a helmet. I always look at the picture & think "oh God..."

Then I realize that it's a law. Period. Just like wearing seat belts, and air bags, car seats for kids/babies. Granted, year's ago, these things weren't laws & some weren't even invented yet. But you know what? They're now b/c someone invented them & it's b/c they SAVE LIVES!!!! It's not b/c it's cool or an accessory, it's b/c it's something to save your life! Why is this so hard to understand or figure out? Why?

The kid (DSS) got VERY lucky! To me, this was too lucky. And yet for what ever reason, my DH & his ex-wife are going to say "no biggie"...b/c it's in our yard. What if they can't stop & the bike just doesn't work & they hit a tree or a rock or drive into something & have no helmet? Their helmet would have protected their head, but no helmet, no protection.

Look at sports like Baseball, Football, hockey...they have helmets, and why? because again, it's something to save your "melon"! Why is this even an issue? I mean, really? This is an issue? I can't even believe I have to debate this w/ an adult. I can see having to debate this a bit w/ a kid/tween but an adult? Really? And kids... my kids don't ask ?'s, they just know "because"... when they ask me "why?" I say "because...." they don't need to know "why" if I've already explained it in the past, it's "because"... period. No more "if, and or but..." about it. It's "YOU ARE DOING IT, YOU ARE WEARING IT, PERIOD!" You don't wear it! You don't ride it! That simple. They don't argue w/ me. But now they're starting to challenge me b/c their older brother, doesn't have to wear one at their mother's house & b/c their older brother is calling it "g*y".... I finally said "enough w/ the racial slurs"... I freaked out on him. I was so tired of the mouth. MY HOUSE, MY RULES! God this is annoying. It's simple, this shouldn't be a debate for parents.

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October 25th, 2010, 11:34 AM
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Yeah, your DSS did get very, very lucky. We're strict about safety issues. Bike helmets, sitting properly in the car, being properly buckled in, holding the youngests' hand in the parking lot, staying out of the way of cars, looking both ways before crossing streets, etc.

My brother had a bike accident when he was younger. No helmet. He was hospitalized for like a week, and he's never been quite the same, nor quite right, since. Don't think he wore his helmet when he rode his bike after that, either.

I'm surprised that after this scare, they're still going to let him ride a bike without a helmet.
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October 25th, 2010, 05:25 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Posts: 13,499
WOW he was lucky. It's shocking how many parents just don't care about things like this. It's the freaking law people, nice way of teaching your children to obey the laws. I think that people only think back to when they were younger and how helmets weren't really used. However, they forget all the accidents that landed them or their friends in the hospital because of an accident they had on a bike. Hopefully they will smarten up and force him to use his helmet. That he doesn't fit in line is a bunch of crap. So if all the kids were doing drugs she'll let him do it so he could fit in?! Really the logic is astounding.

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October 26th, 2010, 11:30 AM
Daisyfields's Avatar Platinum Super Mega Mommy
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That's my theory exactly... if everyone else is "jumping bridges" does that mean he should follow as well? Same w/ sex, drugs... etc.

My son (10 year old) got a certain grade on his test the other day & he tried to say "the other kids in the class"... and I said "I don't care about the other kids or what they're doing, I care about you & what you are capable of...." then I went on to say how he had over a week to prepare, there was no excuse & had he spent more time studying his times/tables, he wouldn't have failed (he failed the 8's, only ten 8's to memorize/learn). Any ways, again, I said the same thing "it doesn't matter about the others, it matters about YOU!"
This upcoming Friday he has a big test on all his numbers & I told him "you have 4 days to prepare, no excuse!" he said "you're overreacting, I don't need to study"... I decided to quiz him randomly & he didn't know the answers. Granted this isn't something that can physically HARM my child, but it goes into parenting styles & how you deal w/ your children. Just because the OTHER kids aren't doing well, or are getting to watch a certain show, or can play a certain video game or don't have to wear their helmets when riding bikes, doesn't mean that YOU (my other kids) have to follow in their footsteps. That's called PEER PRESSURE!!! Now I know it's easier to fall into peer pressure & do what they do, but in the end, most of those choices are bad, and they're not they're own. Usually causing trouble. Or worst, death.

Bottom line. WEAR A DARN HELMET!!!! I don't care if the helmet has glowing lights & sings show tunes while you wear it & looks like a giant hippo, WEAR IT if it saves your life! Freaking-A! (sorry, just irritated).

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