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Step-mom Question

Forum: Blended Families


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March 16th, 2011, 07:57 AM
alyashlyn's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 172
I know I haven't been on here in quite a while, the past couple of months have been crazy busy.

Anyway, I have a question for all you veteran step-parents.

So here's what's going on. My husband has split custody of his 19month old son, we get him every two weeks for two weeks. While we have him he spends a few hours a couple days a week in daycare. My step-sons daycare requires his shot record which we were able to get through the military. After receiving it we learned that he is missing about three shots. Since, until just recently his mother was the primary custodial parent she has been the one dealing with his check-ups and shots so we had no control over any of it. My step-sons daycare told us that he can remain in the daycare only until the 30th of this month if he doesn't receive these shots. So we contacted the bio-mom and let her know that her son needs these shots but since the medical insurance changed and now she will have to pay a whopping $20 co-pay instead of nothing she wants my husband to take him in for the shots and said she won't do it. That's not a big deal for us to take the kid in for his shots, its kinda pathetic on her part but not really surprising. But here's the problem, my husband literally just started his new job and can't really request any time off yet so after next Friday when we get him back I'll have to take my step son for his shots. My only concern with this is that I am not legally anything to him, can I even authorize these shots? My biggest concern is that I get him his shots and later on when bio-mom gets an updated version of the shot record and see's my signature on it authorizing the shots that she can maybe some how bring some kind of legal actions against me for lying, I really don't know if I'm being too overly paranoid or if legally I really have no grounds to authorize these shots. How does this work? Can I authorize the shots or no?

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March 16th, 2011, 09:22 AM
Posts: n/a
I am the one who takes my husband's kids to the doctor, and signs for the shots. The doctor's office is well aware that I am their step mother, and that I am here because their father had to be at work. It's not presented any issues. Though, my husband has joint custody, but he's the custodial parent, and we live quite a ways away from his ex. So, if my husband can't do it, it falls to me, and there is no other option for us.

I'd say, because she's refusing to take your husband's son, and your husband can't take the time off of work, that it should be alright.
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March 16th, 2011, 10:12 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
I would call the doctor's office 1st to make sure. If they need your Dh's signature, perhaps you can get the forms in advance, have him sign & then bring them with you.

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March 16th, 2011, 11:51 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
You can just get a letter authorizing you to make medical decisions for your step child. The letter needs to be notarized. This would help ensure that you can if fact take the child to the doctor if need be. I do it for my mother every summer when she takes my kids for a month in case of an emergency.

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March 16th, 2011, 02:08 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 115,721
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I take my step sons to the doctor all the time. All we had to do was have him sign a form allowing me to bring him in.
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March 16th, 2011, 03:09 PM
alyashlyn's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 172
Okay, well I guess it'll be easier than I thought. When I make the appointment I'll find out what's needed before I bring him in. Thanks

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March 16th, 2011, 04:09 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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They shouldn't give you a hard time about it. Either they have a form available or they'll ask you to write something up on your own. Good luck!
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March 18th, 2011, 10:51 AM
Ponyo22's Avatar Lindsay
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 140
Ditto what the others have said.

I have to bring my step-kids to the doc sometimes when my husband is at work. I work from home so it's easier to take an hour off. I know it would be smarter to get a notarized power of attorney letter from DH, but we haven't done this yet. My pediatrician knows my role and I would never expect the bio-mom to press the issue since she rarely takes them to the doc and probably appreciates that we/ I pick up the slack. I would call ahead though. They could fax you the signature form in advance or might even have a template where DH allows you to make medical decisions for his kids.
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March 24th, 2011, 12:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,394
I didn't read the replies so someone might have mentioned this already. Get your husband to write a note authorizing you to give permission to treat. It's a cover your *** thing. This way, if BM does see your signature both you and the doctor's office is covered from liability.

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