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Taking kids to a funeral

Forum: Blended Families


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April 6th, 2011, 02:22 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 115,722
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So W&C are going to see their mom this weekend. I asked her if she wanted them because Neely and I have stuff going on this weekend and they would have spent most of their time with a babysitter, so I figured why not give her a chance to see them.

Anyway, the day I called her she told me her friend's grandmother had passed away that day. She said she would still love to see the kids and that having them around would be just the bright spot that the house would need. Fine, great, it was all settled.

Well, she called today to confirm and she told me that the funeral is Saturday and she would be taking the kids with her. This concerns me. One, they've never been to a funeral. Two, they met this woman twice and they don't really have a connection with her. When my grandmother passed away in 2009, I didn't take them to the funeral for that very reason. She had had a stroke before we started getting visitation and they only saw her a handful of times in the nursing home. They didn't know her, didn't know what she was like before, didn't have any emotional attachment to her, so I didn't feel like it was appropriate to expose them to a funeral at that point.

We don't know what to do. Send them and let them attend the funeral or leave them home and have them end up being baby sat a lot? Thoughts?
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April 6th, 2011, 04:40 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 2,394
This is a tough one. My first instinct is that since the visitation was offered it shouldn't be reneged on. But if Dad isn't comfortable with the kids going to the funeral, maybe it could be suggested that she have someone watch them long enough for her to go and come back. Still in babysitting, but sounds like would be less time.

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April 7th, 2011, 10:52 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 115,722
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We offered to pick the kids up early Saturday morning so they wouldn't have to go to the funeral. We'll see how she responds.
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