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Forum: Blended Families


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June 27th, 2011, 07:18 AM
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 1
Hello All -

Briefly, I am a mother of 1 boy and "stepmom" (though not official - we've been together for 6 years) to 3 older boys. I absolutely love the kids and love my guy even more. That being said, I need some advice. I'll try to keep it short-esque.

In short, I have major issues with the mother of the 3 boys and her family. We get along fine. However, the mother has a daughter that she will constantly send with the boys or have us drop off at the girls father's house or have the little girl wait at our house (and sometimes the deadbeat never comes...), and honestly, I cannot stand it. I do not believe it is our responsiblity to take care of her or babysit her. True, the very first time she boldly asked 5 years ago, I should have said NO. I would never ask or even expect her to watch a child that actually shares a father with the boys let alone one that does not. It seriously baffles me.

Further, there have been times where her sisters have asked us to watch their kids (which again, I should have said no, but didn't want to look like a jerk). And I had to stop that in it's tracks after a few times. Recently, the mother called to ask if we could call her sister and invite her over for Memorial Day BBQ cause she was out of town and didn't want her sister to be alone??????? Who does that???

Bottom line - I keep a good relationship with her and her family for the kids, but they just think they are entitled to forever be a part and call on my guy whenever they need - likely because he let them before I came around. But c'mon at what point to you just let him and I live our own lives???

That is what I want our own lives. I don't want to stare at his ex's other child with another man all day...they have a big family why do they insist on trying to barge in on mine???

Do I have the right to be upset? How do I handle? Am I just being impossible?? Please advise, I'd love to hear comments.. thanks! -JKAB
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June 27th, 2011, 09:14 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Wish I had some words but I don't. The only advise I can give is to just be upfront and honest with them and hopefully they will understand. Good luck.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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June 27th, 2011, 10:42 AM
smika's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: The Lehigh Valley
Posts: 564
Wow, that's a lot to handle! I would just tell her that it needs to stop or slow down at least. Tell her you have enjoyed the time with the little girl, but you are at a point where you need to focus on your family. It sounds to me like she is taking advantage of you, and that HAS to stop.

EDD: September 5, 2014
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June 27th, 2011, 12:28 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 972
I would tell her that she needs to ask before bringing the little girl over because while you don't mind doing it once in a while it has become a bit to "overwhelming" and you can't do it all the time.
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