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I'm terrible

Forum: Blended Families


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September 27th, 2011, 12:53 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
lol I did a shameless plug.

So for those that don't know, my ex dh - dd's bio dad is bipolar & untreated. He had a massive breakdown which ended our marriage when dd was 2. It got really ugly because he got very sick & even ended up in the hospital. He was very unstable & at 1 point threatened to kill me. So I battle for several years to ensure my dd's safetly. Eventually he gave up his parental rights because he didn't want to pay child support. So when dd was 6, my dh adopted her. She adores dh but still feels abandoned by her bio dad - even though I've told her that he loves her very much (it's true) & I made him leave (also true).

Anyhoo, l've stuggled over the last 3 years of whether it's better for her to have some contact with him or if it's best to just let him go. In the beginning, I did send letters & pictures because I knew he loved her & felt he deserved it. But over the years, I've gone back & forth on it. But recently dd has been talking more about him & last night she decided to write him a letter & get some pictures of herself to send to him.

So today I wrote him a letter as well. Just giving him an update on her life - school, dance,etc. I let him know our dog Penny - who he rescued passed away this summer at 13 1/2 years old.

Ok long lead in for how terrible I am. So dd wants another dog. But we're not in a financial position to get one right now. We will be in a few months but dd isn't patient So anyway, I told the ex that Penny is gone & dd wants a new dog but I can't afford it just yet. It's a long shot but maybe he'll send her the money for a dog. And I'm ok with him being the hero. She actually needs him to be. And honestly, he owes me. 4 years of no child support, ran me financially into the ground. Stopped paying on his motorcycle that I had co-signed for during our marriage (he was supposed to refinance it after the divorce & didn't) so I have a $7,000 hit on my credit plus I paid a ton of legal fees & supervised visit fees etc. So the least he can do is cough up some $ for a dog.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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September 27th, 2011, 01:03 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
That's not bad in the least bit. I would have done the same in your shoes.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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September 27th, 2011, 02:50 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 10
You aren't shameless! I am in a similiar postion as you. My ex has stopped paying support and at the same time I lost over 900 a month in income. So I am hurting. I had him buy DS his school supplies, it made him the hero and my son was happy. I had the money for the supplies just got sick of him paying for things he doesnt need (i.e. new trampoline and pool) and not send us a penny. I think its good if he does send the money for the new pet. It's the least he can do.
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September 30th, 2011, 07:04 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 972
I would of done the same thing. You got to do what you got to do!
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