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October 24th, 2011, 12:16 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
So little background for those who are new....

My dh has 2 dds from his previous marriage 12 & 17. I've always gotten along with the youngest but the oldest is a piece of work. She's been resistant about our relationship since we met - helped out by bio mom's lies unfortunately & dh's inability/unwillingness to communicate. Anyhoo, to make a long story short I kicked her out of my house 3 years ago & she isn't welcome. Dh sees both girls - he goes to where they live.

Now to the current situation: dsd (the 12 year old) came & stayed with us this summer. She is 12 & dd is 9. They have been sisters since the day they met. It just so happens that dd's best friend is 11 (dd is very socially mature for her age). Anyway, it came out this past week that dsd had private conversations with dd's bff & told her that it was all my fault that her sister couldn't come to visit.

I'm not upset at dsd for thinking that because her bio mom & sister are very strong, controlling personalities & she is laid back like dh. I am however upset that she choice to bring dd's best friend into it. She can talk all she wants to her friends & say whatever she wants. But now she's gone an upset the situation with dd's best friend. And of course dd has been very upset about it. And the 11 year old friend is loving the drama as a lot of 11 year old girls would.

I told dh that he needs to talk to dsd about this. 1st and foremost, he needs to tell her not to confide in dd's bfff. She has her own friends to do that with. 2nd he needs to make it clear that there are 2 sides to every story and that her sister isn't welcome for a reason. I doubt he ever will & I will have to. I hate that he won't step up and that I always have to be the bad guy.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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October 24th, 2011, 01:11 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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eek... soo not cool. Hopefully you guys can get that settled before it escalates.

My sisters mom was the same with her daughter, lies and causing trouble. Took a few years, but my sister and my mom patched up their relationship.
1798 Days to Conceive our Miracle!
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October 24th, 2011, 02:38 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Ughh Kris, I'm sorry, that is a mess. I too would be upset if I were in your situation. I hope DH can rectify this and that DSD will have a better understand of whom she can and cannot speak about regarding family private matters.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
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October 26th, 2011, 11:59 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
Fortunately in this case, dsd only visits 2-3 times per year (unfortunate in everything else). At least until the summer, there will be limited time if any with dd's bff. Dsd stayed with us for 2 weeks last summer & we were sharing a nanny with dd's bff's family so all the kids were together 40+ hours/week. We won't be sharing a nanny next summer & I don't think dsd will stay with us that long (another story).

It's just not fair to dd. She has been through so much between her bio dad & dh's oldest. She doesn't need anymore drama.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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