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  #1  
November 9th, 2011, 07:50 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Location: Taneytown, MD
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Hey there! I haven't been around in ages. I'm sorry about that. Looks like things are going well over here, though.

I figured I'd give you guys an update about our situation and recent happenings here.

About a month ago, Will brought his interim report card home and the comments in 3 out of 4 classes said "homework incomplete". The problem with that is he had been saying that he had no homework. Last year, we would have him get his agenda book signed by each teacher each day so that we could keep track. We let him off the hook with that initially this year because we wanted to see how he would do. Obviously he wasn't taking responsibility and was also lying. So Neely grounded him for the lying and told him he could earn his privileges as he completed his missing assignments. That was the 6th of October. That evening Neely had told him that he needed to return some audio books to the school library and the public library. The next day, Neely asked him if he had returned the books and Will said he had, but I had gotten an email from the library saying that his book was about to be over due so I questioned him about it in front of Neely and then Neely confronted him for lying about that. The lying has been out of control with him lately so Neely had made the decision that he would spank Will every time he lied. So Will got a spanking (I know spankings are a hot topic and I know people have strong opinions about them, but that's not what this post is about). The spanking consisted of two swats on his butt with a small belt.

The next day (Saturday) the kids and Neely got up and had breakfast while I slept in. Around lunch time I was in the kitchen and noticed that there was a bowl on the table half-full of milk. I asked the kids who left their bowl on the table and Clayton & Daniel quickly chimed in that they had waffles for breakfast. Will swore up and down that he put his bowl in the sink. So I thought maybe Neely had not cleaned up after himself (which is not really uncommon), so I called him to come into the kitchen to see if it was his. He said he had a bagel and that it was definitely Will's bowl because he saw him sitting at that spot, eating a bowl of cereal. Will continued to swear that he put his bowl in the sink. I asked him to produce a bowl and spoon from the sink and he couldn't. Then he said that someone must have put it back on the table (and poured milk into it) to get him in trouble. Neely was furious about the lying and the ridiculousness of it, so he spanked him again. Again, two swats on the butt.

Later that evening Neely had gone out to do some work and Clayton called his mom. He told her about the spanking and she starts flipping out saying that it was abuse and that he used to beat her when she didn't do what he wanted her to do (we still monitor the phone calls and she knows about it). She started telling the kids that they needed to tell their teachers and guidance counselors that they were being beaten and whatnot. At that point I ended the phone call. About an hour or so later, there's a knock at my door and I answer it and it's the local police department, having been dispatched by the state police after she called in an abuse report. The first word out of the police officer's mouth was "is Mr. Johns having problems with his ex wife?" Anyway, he said that there was a report of abuse, that he needed to d a welfare check on the boys. I invited him in the house, told him what happened that day (that Will received a spanking for lying, while he was grounded for lying). I called the boys into the room and he questioned them. They both told the same story about the number of swats, the method of the spanking and the officer told them both that it was not a beating, that it was not abuse, that it was just their dad, being a dad. He did write a report that stated as such and said he would call their mom and let her know that the boys were fine and that Neely had just disciplined Will. She said to the officer (it was in his report) "so he can beat my kids and there's nothing I can do about it?" He told her repeatedly that they weren't beaten that they both denied being abused and had no marks or bruises, but she kept repeating her question.

So that was the end of it, or so we thought. I assumed that she would call CPS, but we never heard from them so we thought it was over and done with, till the next time she got her panties in a bunch. Thursday the 13th, one week after the original grounding for lying about his homework, Neely got a phone call from the Assistant Principal saying that Neely needed to come to the school to be present while Will was interviewed by the Fire Marshal because it had appeared that he had attempted to light school property on fire with kitchen matches that he had smuggled to school. While Neely was on the way to the school he called his ex in an attempt to say "hey, we need to do something about Will. We need to work together and put our issues aside because it looks like he's making really bad decisions and they keep getting worse and worse." He never got around to saying that because she just sort of went off on him and eventually hung up on him. When Neely got to the school and spoke with the Fire Marshal it turned out that things weren't as bad as they originally seemed and that Will was only attempting to strike the match on a bench, not light the bench on fire. Basically, he had no malicious intent, outside of playing with matches. He came home and wrote her a really long email about the situation trying to explain that he wasn't attempting to pass blame on her, he was just trying to work with her to figure out how to help Will.

About 5:00 that evening, there's another knock on the door and it's two sheriff's deputies who are there to serve him with an ex parte protective order on behalf of her and the boys. Oh and by the way, she's coming to get the kids cause she's been granting custody until the full hearing one week later (20th). We were floored, but not totally surprised. She claimed in her filing that Neely had told her that "the beating Will got on Friday is going to be nothing compared to what he's got coming to him tonight". And I can assure you that Neely wouldn't have told her that because #1, she had already called the police about a spanking and #2, he would have told her he was spanking him, not used the term "beating" if he had said anything remotely like that. So the kids leave and we call our attorney and we wait till the hearing on the 20th. The next day, CPS interviews me, Daniel, the boys and visits the house. Neely wasn't home yet, and he said he didn't think there was any abuse and he could do Neely's interview over the phone.

So on Thursday, her (free) attorney told our attorney that they would dismiss the petition if Neely agreed that he would no longer use corporal punishment. Neely said no, he wasn't giving up any of his parental rights. He said he uses corporal punishment rarely and there was no way he was bending on this. Her attorney told our attorney that he knew he wouldn't win the case, but if Neely didn't agree he would try it anyway, win or lose. Basically he was a jerk who was posturing for his poor pathetic client. When Neely refused to agree, she came back with "Ok, how about you stop monitoring our phone calls." Neely again refused. So the case was called. CPS hadn't officially closed their file on the matter, though the report was written, the worker had not had a chance to have his supervisor officially close the case as "ruled out" and the Judge had a full docket that day and her attorney told the court that he needed an hour and a half to two hours to put on the case. The Judge didn't want to hear it that day because he knew it would make his day long, so he postponed the case for 2 more weeks, meaning that she would keep the kids for an additional two weeks.

They had already been pulled out of school and registered in a new school near her house, so things were really screwed up for them. So this past Thursday we go to court and her attorney says that he's just going to dismiss the case and that Neely could pick the boys up that day. She asked if they could finish the day out at school and could he pick them up that evening. Neely agreed to that and started to say that they could even finish the week out since there was only one more day. He didn't want any more upset to them if it could be avoided ya know? Well then she said "it's my weekend this weekend anyway, so you can get them Sunday" to which Neely replied no way was he going to let her keep them that weekend. She had already had them 3 week (and weekends) in a row so the every-other weekend schedule had been interrupted. Our attorney said no, Neely said no and I laughed out loud. Her attorney gets all loud in the hallway and says "so you're not going to abide by the court order?" Our attorney said "do you know what the order says?" Her attorney wouldn't answer and then he said "well, we'll be right back in court folks" and smirked and Neely. Our attorney threatened to file a grievance against him for filing false actions and abusing the system. They were in each other's faces and I was sure the bailiffs were going to come out and break things up. Our attorney just walked away and said to Neely, "so you're gonna get your kids this evening?" and Neely said "I'll be at your house at 7".

That evening as he was loading the kids up, she said to the kids "I'll see you guys tomorrow." Neely said, "no, actually they are not coming over this weekend." She ignored him completely and said "I'll see you guys tomorrow at 6." Some balls, huh? So she did show up Friday night and asked if she could have the kids and Neely said that they would not be going over that weekend and she said "so you're denying me?" to which Neely responded "uh yeah". She said OK and got in the car and went away. She hasn't called to inquire about this weekend, so we don't know if she's going to pull the same song and dance this weekend.

The fact is the court order states "mother to have visitation every other weekend from Friday to Sunday", but it does not indicate a start date and no judge in their right mind is going to attempt to interpret the order as to who's weekend it really was and add that to the fact that the schedule was interrupted and she hasn't really been following the order at all since it was entered. We assume that she's going to file a petition for contempt, but we're going to cut her off at the knees and file one ourselves for her failure to pay child support for the last 14 months and also a motion to modify the visitation schedule to keep her from having overnight visits since she continually undermines Neely's authority and is disruptive to the boys.

So that's my long (so sorry) update! If you made it this far, you deserve a cookie or something!
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  #2  
November 9th, 2011, 09:11 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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WOW What a headache, both at home and legally. I'm glad Neely stuck to his guns. She has no case at all against him. How are you and the kids handling all of this? This has to be tough with the baby.
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  #3  
November 10th, 2011, 12:08 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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OMG! I'd seen your cryptic messages on FB but figured you'd update "publically" when you could.

I'm so glad DSS's mom and us work well together when it comes to his welfare. I couldn't imagine dealing with what you are, thankfully you guys are doing what's best for those boys! I hope that taking her legs out from under her gets her to do what's best for the kids too, and if not, well... she's lost out on something special.. her boys.

And wow, Will sounds like he's going through some tough stuff himself... I hope you guys can get to the bottom of the issue and stop the behavior!

My brother went through a phase like that, and eventually he lost just about everything he could lose... life was pretty awful and he decided it wasn't worth lying anymore!
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  #4  
November 10th, 2011, 12:29 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
WOW What a headache, both at home and legally. I'm glad Neely stuck to his guns. She has no case at all against him. How are you and the kids handling all of this? This has to be tough with the baby.
I think Daniel was the most upset about it all. He really missed his brothers. At first it was a nice break from the kids, to be honest. After the first week, though, we all really missed them.

For them, they were just so confused by the whole thing. The biggest headache in all of this was that she transferred them to a different school and we had to re-enroll them, fill out paper work again, prove residency. They did return to school on the first day of the second quarter, so at least they started fresh, and thankfully, they weren't counted as absent from school at all.
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  #5  
November 10th, 2011, 01:38 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Yeah, that had to be hard on Daniel. I'm glad they're back and they didn't miss anything with school.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #6  
November 11th, 2011, 01:10 PM
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What a nightmare. She is just plain crazy!
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  #7  
November 11th, 2011, 06:59 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Well she showed up again tonight. Neely was not home and I basically just told her she couldn't have them and that she needed to talk to Neely about when she could see them again.
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  #8  
November 12th, 2011, 12:51 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
Well she showed up again tonight. Neely was not home and I basically just told her she couldn't have them and that she needed to talk to Neely about when she could see them again.
yikes!

any idea when you guys will be going to court to petition for the custody change?
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  #9  
November 12th, 2011, 05:36 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tithen~ View Post
yikes!

any idea when you guys will be going to court to petition for the custody change?
We filed it on Thursday. Don't know when we'll go to court. I think Neely is going to try to talk to her this week about seeing them on Thanksgiving, though.
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