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Stepson Hates Me

Forum: Blended Families


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April 11th, 2005, 07:04 AM
gonetocarolina's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: North Carolina mountains
Posts: 99
My husband and I have been together for 2 years now. The first year was great, his son really took to me and we all got a long wonderfully. This past year we tried a new living arrangement where the son lives with us for the school year and visits his mom on all the school holidays, and then next school year we will switch. Since we started this, everything has been terrible, the kid refuses to listen to me, gives me constant attitude and talkback, and nothing makes him stop. Threats and punishments have only made it worse. He told me last week that he doesn't like me and will not listen to me. This is causing his father and I to fight a lot about him because I think he's a spoiled brat that needs more discipline and I say so to his father, who disagrees with me and gets angry. He rarely says anything when his kid gives me attitude and I feel so unsupported and at my wits end. I would leave if I wasn't pregnant and really in love with my husband. I don't know what to do! The kid is leaving to go spend his year with his mother in June, and my husband keeps saying 'just ignore him until then' but I cannot ignore him, I cannot let him get away with his bad behavior and slacking off b/c my husband doesn't notice the things I do. Plus, when he comes back it will just be worse.

What the hell do I do? Should I leave? Is it worth it to be miserable in my own home whenver this child is around? Should I be worried for my own coming baby, will he pick up this bad behavior and disrespect? Does anyone else go througth this?
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April 11th, 2005, 11:07 AM
abbezma's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 56
I really feel for you and I think your husband should get involved .. he is allowing his son to walk all over you.. that is not right .. I have a 14 year old step DD and she visits every other w/e and she treats me well but i find her Dad very easy on her..she can do no wrong in his eyes and it boils down to guilt..he feels bad for her that she grew up without him in her life everyday ( the mothers choice)... anyway you guys really need to be on the same page with this.. Good luck!! I know it is not easy!!

I Love My Baby!!
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April 11th, 2005, 01:40 PM
Tami77's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Winona, MN
Posts: 899
I havnt felt the full brunt of it yet but I am sure I will. Taylor is only 2 now. But her mother has no concept of dicipline. luckly Brian dose and we agree on what you shouldt let children get away with. I had to take a hand this weekend we were playing out in the yard well she was playing I was doing yard work. she wanted to go for a walk I told her later. my father was due to be there any min to pick up some yard trash. she started yelling at the top of her lungs. I live in a small community so I am sure she could be heard from one side of town to the other. I asked her to stop then I told her to stop she just got louder. so I picked her up carried her into the house took her shoes and coat off at that she started bawling. this reaction I know usally results in her getting her way or some kind of candy to quiet her which in my mind isnt helping the behavior I just stood there and watched with a look of disaproval. he father dosnt allow her to raise her voice to him and I will not allow it either. I know I have my work cut out for me here. I refuse to let my child pick up these habits but it is really hard when the dicipline isnt consistant between households.

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