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  #1  
November 21st, 2011, 01:53 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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It's Monday & we still don't know if we get dsd for Thanksgiving. Dh would have to pick her up on Wednesday. They live 4 hours away so even with meeting 1/2 way dh has to drive 4 hours. It would be nice to know.....

Plus MIL was planning to come if dsd is here. She only sees her when we see her which has only been 2-3 times per year. We see her more often. But she can't make her plans either becuase bio mom can't return a call

It's been like this for over 6 years but it never gets less annoying!
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah

Last edited by My2miracles; November 21st, 2011 at 02:23 PM.
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  #2  
November 21st, 2011, 02:09 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
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I hear you. I know we're getting Doni for Tday, but we have yet to get a pick up time. Just lovely. I just know this holiday is going to suck between the inlaws and the hot mess of commuting for the holidays.
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  #3  
November 21st, 2011, 04:56 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I feel ya. I didn't know till Friday, and that was annoying enough.
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  #4  
November 21st, 2011, 05:18 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Now they're talking about Thursday morning. Over my dead body will we or he be driving for over 3 hours just to pick her up when it can be done the night before with less traffic.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #5  
November 21st, 2011, 06:28 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Location: Near the land of cream cheese
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Tell her Thursday morning is not an option. You, your dh and your dsd have plans with family that day.

Does your dh have anything drawn up with the courts that stipulates who gets the children for which holidays and when the pick up/drop off times are? If your dsd's mother is problematic about that sort of thing and there isn't anything on paper, I would definitely recommend doing so. It will save you all a lot of headache.
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  #6  
November 22nd, 2011, 09:08 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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We have it all on paper, but its ever been followed.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #7  
November 22nd, 2011, 09:27 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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If it's on paper and she is refusing to follow what is stipulated, I would consider getting a lawyer involved. In some ways it's a bit of a hassle but that document is legally binding and a couple of contempt charges usually motivate a person to cut the crap, so to speak.
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  #8  
November 22nd, 2011, 09:40 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Yeah, I know. I work in the family law profession. But he doesn't want to go to court, says it's not worth the time, money and aggravation. And since it's his child and his choice, I don't have much say so in the matter. He's also afraid that the support would increase, A LOT, if they went back to court. He refuses to listen to any advice I have, even legally, since I'm his wife.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #9  
November 22nd, 2011, 09:59 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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That sounds really frustrating. Does he know that filing a contempt order (for a violation of the agreement) does not re-open things like visitation and support? They're entirely separate processes.
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  #10  
November 22nd, 2011, 10:56 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Location: NYC
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I've told him. But I do know where he's coming from. If he filed anything, she would run to court for more support. Even though she would actually have to contribute towards the support this time around, he feels it's not worth the possible increase on his side. I've given up trying to explain all of this to him and just become a beast when he does stupid things to cater to her instead of us.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #11  
November 22nd, 2011, 11:09 AM
.Katie.
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Hugs. That sounds horrible. What's the point of having the PP if she doesn't follow it?
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  #12  
November 22nd, 2011, 11:47 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I ask myself that very question every time we have a visit.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #13  
November 22nd, 2011, 12:54 PM
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Well dh's ex finally called back but of course at a time when she knows he can't answer (he's a food service manager & absolutely can't take calls at lunch time). Anyway, she hasn't said no so that a good sign.

She did say that she has appointments late Wed afternoon & evening. It could be true because she's a family therapist (ironic I know ). But she could also be saying that because she wants to put it on dh not being able to get dsd. She's set up up this way in the past. Not telling him until 2 days before when their dance recital is etc and then dh can't go because he has to work. If he knows in advance, he can switch with another manager.

Anywho, what she doesn't know is that Dh is off tomorrow so he can meet her anytime Love it! She'll have no excuse! They're 4 hours away btw.

So hopefully we'll know soon!
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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  #14  
November 22nd, 2011, 01:16 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Ohh the classic set it up so daddy looks like the bad guy. I know that game all too well.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



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  #15  
November 22nd, 2011, 03:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Ohh the classic set it up so daddy looks like the bad guy. I know that game all too well.
Oh yeah. The B went so far as to tell his oldest that he wasn't paying cs when between cs & alimony he was giving her 70% of his pay check And this woman is a family therapist so should know better - totally crazy! Completely ruined his relationship with his oldest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
But he doesn't want to go to court, says it's not worth the time, money and aggravation. And since it's his child and his choice, I don't have much say so in the matter.
Same here. In our case, for some reason dh is terrified of this woman. He denies it but that's how it looks to me. He's so afraid of going against her. I know early on it was that he didn't want his children to see their parents fighting & he didn't want to lose his relationship with them. Well that happened anyway so he has nothing to lose. But not my call.
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My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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