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Daughter acting out

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November 30th, 2011, 06:22 PM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We are having problems with my DD8 acting up in school. She is not completing her work, being talkative and has been rude and disrespectful. She has erased notes home in her agenda that I just found tonight from the week before Thanksgiving. This behavior has been going on for about a month to 6 weeks. Tonight DH and I got her dad on speakerphone and let her know in no uncertain terms that this was NOT acceptable behavior from her. DH and I haven't given her agenda much more than a glance since two weeks before Thanksgiving because she is the only kid doing WELL in school. Her grades are A's and B's. DS15 is barely passing and we are having to monitor him constantly and DS12 is Autistic and has been having major behavior problems at school. He stabbed a kid with a pencil at school Monday. He is at a special school for his behavior challenges so he doesn't get suspended for his outbursts, they are handled a different way, but I did get called to the school. His mom was out of gas and DH was at work, so I had to go.

Do you think she just wants more attention because the boys are demanding more of our time. Its not like we are ignoring her but with Robert not passing 1 class and having behavior problems and Sean barely passing the 9th grade, once we make sure her homework is done, we let her do whatever. We love her to death and she is the only girl and the apple of both her dad and her step-dad's eye and we want this to stop and her to be our sweet little doodle bug again that we don't have to worry about. We have our hands full with the boys.

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November 30th, 2011, 06:52 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I think it's pretty safe to assume it might be attention-related. Does she get special one on one time with you often? What about her dad? It may also be a form of anxiety. I don't know all of the details, but one of my dss's went through a period last year and early this year where he was stealing and getting into trouble at school (he was 7 at the time). Life has stabilized for him a lot in the past year and that's helped, and it seems like a lot of it was an anxiety reaction.

I was somewhat similar in elementary school. I had extremely good grades but got in trouble on an almost daily basis for things like talking in class and being rude to some of my teachers. In my case, I was a gifted child in a school system that didn't offer anything for me and I was bored. Is that possibly a factor for your dd? Have you had her evaluated? I know that the options for gifted children are a lot different now. My mil teaches gifted children and the program sounds wonderful.

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December 1st, 2011, 11:35 AM
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Wow you do have your hands full. It's very possible that your dd needs attention. It's also possible that something else is going on to - maybe something at school. Maybe one of you could take her out to lunch or create some one-on-one time to talk about it.

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December 1st, 2011, 11:59 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Wow you do have your hands full. It's very possible that your dd needs attention. It's also possible that something else is going on to - maybe something at school. Maybe one of you could take her out to lunch or create some one-on-one time to talk about it.
i agree.
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December 1st, 2011, 08:11 PM
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Agreed with all above.

I would also consider that the biggest influences kid wise in her life are her brothers and she is seeing how they handle responsibility too and she could be trying to mimic what she sees. You do have your hands full there!
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