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Can you see a difference in attitude

Forum: Blended Families


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December 8th, 2011, 01:10 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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when your kids come home (or talk to) their non-custodial parent?

W&C will go a week without talking to their mom sometimes and it never fails that they seem to be more defiant towards me and jerks towards Daniel afterwards. I don't know if it's unconscious or deliberate.
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December 8th, 2011, 02:28 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Like clockwork! Even BM complains about it. She comes from BM's house for a visit and is extremely spoiled and rude. But then BM says she comes back rude...So honestly, I think it's just BMs lack of parenting skills and one rude child.

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December 9th, 2011, 05:58 AM
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i have the opposite. SO has a 4yo DD and whenever she comes with us she is terrible for the first night, and then perfect until we say she has to go back to mommys. then shes so beyond upset, it breaks my heart.
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December 9th, 2011, 03:49 PM
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Chloe's mom doesn't know how to handle her emotions and is a loose cannon (read: crazy and probably bi-polar). Whenever she comes back from Texas she is distant. Actually we both are for the first few weeks. This is still new to us and we're trying to get the hang of it.

When I first moved in, just after her mom left to move to Scottland, Chloe was a mess behaviorally. She would cry at the drop of a hat over evvvvverything and stomp/slam doors. DH says those were some of her mom's favorite moves when they fought (which was often). She has grown a lot in the last year though and has learned healthy ways to cope with her emotions. Pretty proud of her.

Julie on the other hand, I have noticed is less receptive to Eric when she comes back from her Dads. She doesn't disrespect, but she ignores his presense and pretty much blows him off when he talks to her.
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December 9th, 2011, 07:04 PM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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YES! He loses his manners, will get in trouble at school more, cuss at school and is just off. We hate it when he is at his moms. There are few rules there and no structure. He can do pretty much anything there.

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December 9th, 2011, 10:17 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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We do ok going from Mom's house to Dad's house.

It's when Nanny and Pappy fall in the mix that we have issues. We still can't convince BioMom's mom to NOT give DSS anything with caffeine or certain preservatives in them. She's trying to pull the "it's my right to spoil him", but her spoiling is now having a negative effect on him at home and at school. Will be very nice when she doesn't have to take him there for babysitting any longer.

He tends to be more high strung coming from Mom's than going back to her... we've yet to figure that one out, we suspect it's sugar allowance since his intake is VERY low here.
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December 11th, 2011, 01:48 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Originally Posted by .Katie. View Post
Julie on the other hand, I have noticed is less receptive to Eric when she comes back from her Dads. She doesn't disrespect, but she ignores his presense and pretty much blows him off when he talks to her.
This is how Clayton treats me. It's getting old.
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December 16th, 2011, 10:33 AM
Branduxa's Avatar Praying for #2
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There are major offages when my son comes back from his father and stepmothers house. There are 3 other kids there and he's not exactly treated fairly/equally by the stepmom. He gets in trouble a LOT there (hardly ever is there a need for him to be punished at our home) and it normally takes him a day or two to straighten out when he's back with us.

We are pretty understanding with him tho. And he often talks to the school counselor about troubles he has at his real dad's house. It's very hard for kids who are split between two homes. I've done research on the net and it's not abnormal for them to act out, lie, and be a completely different kid. They are just trying to cope with trying to be two different people at two different places. I don't know about you guys, but I couldn't act like two different people so often and not have some sort of issues.

When I was getting divorced from my sons father we were required to go to counseling. In the sessions they told us we should keep our routine as close to the same at both houses as possible. Well I know that our routines aren't even close to being the same! So I try to not be the 'evil' mom when he comes back with an attitude. I try to be as understanding as possible. I know it's not easy on him.
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December 28th, 2011, 09:18 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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yes. It takes us about half a day to re-program him after he sees his mom.

he also gets in trouble in school, refuses to eat his dinner, and complains and whines.

Hes also a very smart kid, so we simply tell him, "What you do at your moms house does NOT fly here. straighten up the attitude right now or you're gonna be spending a lot more time in your room than you planned." That usually works.

But bm always complains about how he whines and throws a fit to get his way. He's done it to her in front of us, and she looked at us and says, dont you HATE when he acts like this?! But he never does with us. because it doesnt work with us lol.
Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to OwenPregnant with our first together <3 Due July 12, 2015
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