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What do you struggle most with?


Forum: Blended Families

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  #1  
December 9th, 2011, 03:52 PM
.Katie.
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What do you struggle most with in your blended family?
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  #2  
December 9th, 2011, 04:42 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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How BM is raising DSD. I don't agree with it in the least bit and neither does DH.
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  #3  
December 9th, 2011, 04:48 PM
.Katie.
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What is she doing?

The hardest thing right now is trying to keep life 'normal' for the girls when they keep being split apart. Julie is starting to ask to see her Dad less, and Chloe has wished she could spend less time away. I guess I shouldn't say normal, since they think it's normal since that's all they know.

Court sucks. A lot.
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  #4  
December 9th, 2011, 04:58 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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She pretty much lets her get away with murder. Allows her to talk back and but into adult conversations. Puts up with her rude behavior and bad attitude. Sends her away to her room when she doesn't want to deal with her. Lies to her about her father...there is so much more I just can't even get into.
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❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
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  #5  
December 9th, 2011, 06:41 PM
.Katie.
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I'm sorry!!!
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  #6  
December 9th, 2011, 07:01 PM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Robert's mom is not on the same page we are. She lets him play rated M games, constantly gives him foods that trigger his hyperactivity, doesn't give him his meds on their regular schedule. There is a lot of stuff there. We are in the process of going for full custody of him. Her boyfriend takes food off of his plate and she lets him ride in illegal cars as well. Just not a good situation.
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  #7  
December 9th, 2011, 10:21 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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For us it's the extend families (grandparents etc). They just don't respect the wishes of DH and his ex, and it's making life on DSS hard.

For me personally, it's trying not to step on BioMom's toes. We interact a lot, and I have to remember that while she's around there is no need for me to correct DSS... she laughs about it because we're very much on the same page with each other.. but I don't want to have her ever feel like I'm trying to replace her.

example: DSS stepped too close to a curb tonight, and I reflexively reached out to grab him at the same time she did. I did get him first (was closer), but I immediately felt like I was stepping on Mommy's toes. She just laughs and says it makes her feel at ease about DSS being with me... just leaves me feeling like a 3rd wheel I guess.
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  #8  
December 10th, 2011, 03:53 PM
mommy2alex215's Avatar FTM
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So far everything has actually been pretty easy (knock on wood). I know there will be struggles to come with the new baby though. I would say most difficult part so far is time changes. Dss's mother likes to call with little notice saying she wants to pick him up early/late a lot of the time and its frustrating because a) its impossible to get a toddler ready in a short amount of time and b) when she wants to grab him early then its less time with him We dont have a parenting plan through court right now because things have been really cooperative lately so we cant enforce anything but shes working on trying to give us more notice.
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  #9  
December 11th, 2011, 08:13 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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Knowing the kids are being lied to and encouraged to pull away from their dad, but in a passive-aggressive way so we don't have anything solid to call her on with. All we can do is counteract it by showing them a happy, healthy home while they are with us and hope for the best, but it's still something that bothers me. It also bothers me that she does all of this and talks about what an abusive jerk he supposedly is and how she needs to protect the children from him, and then harps on with us about how she thinks they should spend more time with him.
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Last edited by Keakie; December 11th, 2011 at 03:28 PM.
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  #10  
December 11th, 2011, 01:52 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Dealing with Neely's ex, who has some serious psychiatric issues.
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  #11  
December 12th, 2011, 01:06 PM
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With dsd it's distance -- 4 hours. Plus dh & I both work, bio mom works & dsd is in activities & school so it's hard to get her often.

With dh's oldest - well it's bio mom telling her lies & she believing them & building up such a hatred & resentment that there's no going back Thankfully dsd who was told the same lies never believed them.
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  #12  
December 12th, 2011, 01:27 PM
SFGiantsGirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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We have been struggling. We recently went to court for meidation and my husbands ex lied about everything and the mediator totally believed her. The mediator did not let him speak about any of the issues he was concerned about. His ex got everything she was asking for. So he got time taken away from him because she said he didn't excercise his visitation. Which is such a lie. We even had logs showing that he did exercise his time but the mediator did not care.

So now we are going back to court to have the judge look at everything and make a new judgement. We are asking for a full week. Hopefully the judge will see the truth and see that the best interest for my DSD is to have more time with her dad. My husbands ex is always lying about everything when it comes to him. In her eyes husband is the lowest person on the planet. I wish that she could get over her issues and be happy with herself and stop trying to make others miserable and hurting them.

One day I am hopething that things can be civil between everyone. My DSD is stuck in the middle of all of this and its so sad. Its about what is best for her. Not getting back at someone. I agree with the previous posts about court sucking!! So so TRUE!!
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