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Uggh!!!! So tired of the obvious different treatment between the kids!

Forum: Blended Families


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  • 1 Post By Rachel
  • 1 Post By w292737

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May 26th, 2012, 02:39 PM
pmdc5286's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am just over it! I think all of you know that Robert is Autistic and he is Jonah's bio kid and not mine. I am sooo tired of all of the obviously different treatment between the kids! Sean and Dani are treated so much differently by my parents and Robert is forgotten ALL THE TIME! We never get invited to do anything with them when Robert is here. It is not as if he acts up in public or anything, he knows we don't put up with that here. Tonight my two kids are going with my parents to a get to gether, we are not invited because Robert is here. Sean is going so he can drive and they are taking Dani too.

I wish all of the kids could be treated equal. We treat them equal for the most part. The major difference between the three is that Robert's grade expectations are not as high as the other two. He is expected to pass, and works hard to do it, trust me. Sean and Dani are in accellerated classes/enrichment classes and they are expected to bring home all As and Bs. Otherwise the kids are expected to go to school, behave, come home, do homework, keep rooms clean, pick up dirty clothes and help clean kitchen after supper, all together.

I just wish everyone could see past his disabilities and love Robert for Robert.

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May 26th, 2012, 04:27 PM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
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I'm sorry. It's frustrating when children are treated differently. I know they probably don't have the bond that they do with their biological grandchildren, but I think it's still a fair expectation that they at least invite your family over when everyone is there. Is it possible that they're afraid of Robert? People sometimes act funny around children with special needs, even if they aren't particularly violent. Have you tried addressing it with them before?

I'm glad that in your home everyone is loved equally. In the end, that will matter more than what your parents do (or fail to do).

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

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May 26th, 2012, 04:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Do you think they might not be so keen on Robert because he's not yours? Have you tried educating them on autism.
J Married to D 08.21.2009
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May 26th, 2012, 06:45 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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If my parents did that I wouldn't put up with it. If not everyone could go, no one would.

My nieces are in a blended family as well. Lauren is almost 16 but a few years ago, her step grand mother had her and her half sister out some where and they ran into some one that the grandmother knew and she said "this is my granddaughter Abby. And this is Lauren." It really hurt her feelings. Especially after she sees my parents accept Will and Clayton as their grandchildren so easily.

Anyway, I wouldn't put any of my kids in that situation.
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May 27th, 2012, 08:16 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I worry about this. It's actually my biggest reason for wanting to take Reme to Canada with us. We weren't supposed to be TTC until after next summer (and he IS going next year if he doesn't this year).. I want my family to spend time with him before there is a little baby to fawn over.

But my family easily accepted my sister (dad's child) as their own when he got with mom, my uncle always has girlfriends with kids who've been made family, and my cousin's got a step son Reme's age. So I'm probably worrying for naught!

But if they do treat him different, then we'll probably stop going over to see them yearly and make them come to us like we do DH's family.
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May 29th, 2012, 01:03 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I'm so sorry. It sucks when kids get treated differently. Thankfully my mom nor mil doe this, however, my sil does. But that even goes with her bio nieces and nephews. The only niece that matters is dsd, and the only nephew that has recentl mattered, is dh's first nephew. He's 19, so he no longer needs to be treated like a child and she likes that. DSD only matters cause she's her name sake. My dd is a threat to her and my ds is barely acknowledged. I imagine it will be the same for this baby once he's born.

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May 29th, 2012, 03:54 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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My response up there sounded a bit douchey. It just seems that you're worried than he's being excluded because of his autism when honestly he could be excluded if he were the best behaved child on the planet because he's not yours.
J Married to D 08.21.2009
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June 5th, 2012, 06:34 PM
Happy Mommy
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I'm with Rachel I wouldn't stand for it. tell them how you feel and what you see. they every well might not be aware, or not sure how to act/what to do because he isn't yours...
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