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Forum: Blended Families


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  • 1 Post By Stepmom2Be
  • 1 Post By ShesaDreamer
  • 3 Post By .Katie.
  • 1 Post By Wisey

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July 27th, 2012, 08:46 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
That the other bio parents think we are the nut ones lol. We all think we think logically but its almost like the saying I heard in intro to Psychology in 10th grade. The only reason why monopoly money isn't real is because that's what someone told us. So we think we are correct because the general public says we are but if you go ask the other parents "friends" they have it right and we are the bad guys, kwim?

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July 27th, 2012, 08:50 PM
Stepmom2Be's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,202
I'm sure that BM had a lot of choice things to say about us when she was fresh out of rehab and expected us to just hand her kid over to her no questions asked.

She actually called her mom the day after she relapsed, ( we were sitting on her moms couch,) and said, "Okay I will come pick up O when i get discharged. And her mom said, "Um no you wont actually."

I think if the crazy is really there, and we arent just projecting it, then most people see it just as much as we do.
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Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to OwenPregnant with our first together <3 Due July 12, 2015
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July 27th, 2012, 09:28 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
I'm sure that BM and her family have a few choice words to say about me. But I'd doubt that crazy would be one They have always seethed at the fact that when they start going nuts on us that I stay level headed and just tell them how it is. Except for the time BM showed up unannounced at my house and when I asked her not to do it again because this was my house and I didn't do it to hers she told me she didn't care if God lived here that she would come whenever she wanted because this is where HER kids lived. Then proceded to call me a bunch of names so I litterally threw her out of my house and slammed the door in her face. (And I have to say the look on her face as she was staring at me when the door smacked her in the stomach was pricesess :evil: )
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Me: B 28
DF: S 29

DSD:S 12
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

Getting Married 6/11/16!!!

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July 28th, 2012, 12:03 AM
Posts: n/a
No matter what BM or my ex might tell their friends and family, there is a finality in the truth. Though we make mistakes all the time, I like to think that by handling issues as they come up with integrity and fairness that it won't matter what 'they' try to say. We know who we are and where we stand in everything going on.

In other words &^%%$ them.
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July 28th, 2012, 07:57 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 972
I know my ex thinks some of the things I do are a little off the wall. I know his parents really don't agree with me. If I cared what people think I wouldn't be the way that I am.

I also know P's ex thinks I'm a drill sargent. I just do not tolerate bad behavior!
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July 28th, 2012, 12:08 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
Posts: 115,728
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She doesn't have any friends, her own family doesn't want her around and doesn't communicate with her, so ...
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July 28th, 2012, 01:52 PM
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Last edited by loveneverfails; August 21st, 2012 at 03:33 PM.
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July 28th, 2012, 03:42 PM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
I know that my girls' fathers think I'm nuts. because I won't play their silly stupid games.

They also think I'm nuts because I sent them to catholic school, go to mass on weekends,
insist they eat something other then fast food. make them play outside, and the list goes on.

am I worried? nope. do I think they are nuts? yep. but its all good in the neighborhood.
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July 28th, 2012, 05:21 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
I know she feels threatened by me because dsd likes me. I don't interact with her at all so I don't think she thinks I'm nuts. She may but she really doesn't have anything to base it on.

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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July 28th, 2012, 08:49 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,618
Oh yes.. very much.

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July 29th, 2012, 03:42 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
different situation cause there father passed away but...

i think his ex (still wife) is CRAZY..shes a drunk and on top of that she called aaron up a few months ago saying she got in with some bad people and is now shooting up..but then says shes clean again...i think the shooting up is to try and get him to come back...haha yeah right

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July 29th, 2012, 06:51 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
Oh, we're sure of it. My dsc's bm passes out mental illness diagnoses like they're candy to anyone and everyone who doesn't give her what she wants, when she wants it. Most of her immediate family is drama-hungry so they definitely validate her and stir the pot.

Originally Posted by loveneverfails View Post
For some of the things I know she keeps her family and boyfriend in the dark.
Some of her online/message board friends are drama-hungry too, but mostly this is how she gets them all rallied up. There are a lot of half-truths, intentional omissions of information, glossing over and embellishments in her comments about dh and myself on there. There are a couple blatant lies too, but she's smart enough to know that the best lies are hidden between two truths. Of course, most of those women have known her for years and have a "assume positive intent" mantra (between themselves, anyway - when it comes to non-members of the site and certainly men in general, positive intent is the LAST thing that's assumed) so they'll never call her on it or question her. Sometimes I wonder how they can't see it because there are obvious contradictions in what she has written, but being entrenched will do that to you. As one friend (who dated her immediately after she moved out until she left him for someone else about a year later) said to us, "It's hard to see the crazy when you're in the thick of it." My in-laws and bil/sil have made similar statements.

Originally Posted by .Katie. View Post
No matter what BM or my ex might tell their friends and family, there is a finality in the truth. Though we make mistakes all the time, I like to think that by handling issues as they come up with integrity and fairness that it won't matter what 'they' try to say. We know who we are and where we stand in everything going on.

In other words &^%%$ them.
Exactly. It used to bother me that all of these women she knows believed her and rallied against us with her, but at the end of the day... my dh is a good man and a good father. He always strives to act in the best interests of his children. He values their health and safety, and believes in giving them real guidance. He isn't perfect, but he doesn't pretend to be and he actively acknowledges and learns from it if he makes a mistake. They (at the very least, 4 of the 5 - one is being heavily influenced by her right now it's part of why we're pushing for therapy for him as hard as we are) ADORE my dh - in our pictures together, and certainly pictures from the wedding last week, they love being with him and with me. I have children hugging me and telling me that they love me all. the. time. I spend time with them. They have a home with us too. They are loved here. That's all that matters to us.

If having a loving home with boundaries is crazy, then I suppose she's right.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
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July 29th, 2012, 09:24 AM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: sunny state
Posts: 2,424
I just think it's so funny how when someone was once together who had started a family, can seperate and have their own idea's. Kwim? Take for instance my son. He's at his fathers majority of the time. He goes there and plays video games, eats Pb&j and chicken nuggets. It's just the two of them. He doesn't cook meals he's playing the role of a "short order" cook. I have played along for a while. I didn't want to force food down his throat and make him eat. I thought that was mean, but now he is 5 and he is to atleast take a bite of everything on his plate. Hr is learning about things he actually likes (rice for instance and now he wants bd to buy it and cook it for him) but I'm sure that bd thinks I'm nuts for doing this. Breakfast and lunch is usually a what do you want? But dinner is usually a this is what we are eating. I'm sure that bd is going to have to make Pb&j sandwiches daily for lunch for him. I just know hes not going to eat school food. He starts kindergarten this year and then you have my dsc they are to be respectful and curtious to others.but they also have the ability to go ride their bikes down the street. A couple weeks ago I told them to get of the couch and go outside. They said their mother said they aren't allowed to ride to their friends. It then becomes our house our rules. I called their dad immediately he spoke with bm and got it straighten out. But she posts all the time about how we are nuts or dp is, and we think they are!

Bd is pretty on track with things that I can tell. We have our moments where we are fighting but usually we both agree on how to raise him. That is kinda true... he has responsibilities at my house and I'm not sure bout his house, I'm thinking not much. But we agree on the big thing like school and that's most important to me.

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