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How do you handle holiday visitation?

Forum: Blended Families


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November 20th, 2012, 11:11 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,692
With my step kids we have almost always had them on holidays. Their bm almost never called or asked to see them on holidays. Plus she moves a lot so most times she isn't even living in our state and she can barely afford her own living expenses, so there is no chance of her buying plane tickets for the kids.

With my ds we have a court order, but my ex and I have not really followed it in years. I took him to court in the beginning to get child support and to make him take our son EOW. He would try pulling the "I have to work weekends" thing and want to take him for a few hours on weekend days and return him to me so I couldn't go out and he could. Eventually we started to get along and have just worked together so our son can enjoy his holidays.

I have been lucky because he always lets me have Christmas morning and Easter morning. Then depending on what our families plans are we split the rest of the day. And usually either Thanksgiving or 4th of July (some years both) he takes our son a few hours away to stay with some of his family for a few days so I miss those. The rest of the holidays we just see who has what going on and then determine what to do.

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November 20th, 2012, 11:32 AM
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Chloe leaves every Christmas vacation and is gone the entire time. Julie and Kaylee's dad alternates with us each year and this year he will have them for Christmas eve and morning, and then we will get them at noon on Christmas morning.
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November 20th, 2012, 12:59 PM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
my kids are with me 100% of the time
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November 20th, 2012, 01:37 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 27,101
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We split the holidays when applicable. DH is always gone for Easter, working out of State. He cannot look after Reme while he's working, so visitation just is not possible (he works 12 hrs a day, and lives in a hotel most of the time). So L always gets Easter.

We split Thanksgiving most years, this year he's going to His Nan and Paps because I have to work at midnight on Thanksgiving day, and this way we can all get our shopping done with out playing tag team in toys r us like last year. We will get him Friday afternoon after I've had a nap (or DH will get him WHILE I nap).

We also split Christmas. L gets him Eve and Morning. We get him around 2pm after he's eaten.

We split new years eve last year, we had him until Supper Time, then he ran in the new year with his Mom. I have no idea what will happen this year, we play it by ear.

DH is entitled to have Reme every other holiday every other year, but in reality, we live 5 miles from L's house, and it's not worth the fighting. If things ever get patchy, he'll start enforcing the order.. but at the moment.. this way works best for Reme.. and that's who is important.
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November 20th, 2012, 07:19 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Taneytown, MD
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Our Order givers her 1/2 of the major holidays. We usually allow her to pick them up in the afternoon.
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