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This is ridiculous

Forum: Blended Families


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August 13th, 2014, 11:56 PM
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 19
My daughter is 14. She has been going to school in her dad's state for the last 7 years (long story, but I got really sick for about a year and a half when she was little and had to give her up because I wasn't able to care for her, let alone myself). For the majority of that time she has been spending summers and school breaks with me. I have been, of course, paying child support as well as the majority of the travel expenses, which are about 2500 a year.

Next year she starts high school and has decided she wants to go to school in my state. Initially her dad did not want her to, but he finally agreed. We have been going back and forth on various line items in the modification for months now, and finally agree on everything, and I have all the paperwork I need from him to complete the modification. I need him to be on the same page because we really can't afford a lawyer to handle this, and if he's not happy with the terms he WILL fight it.

Well, tonight I start doing the child support calculations, and much to my surprise, even though she will be spending 70% of the year with me I will STILL have to pay him child support. Why? Because last year his income was less than 10% of mine, and we have to use the shared custody support calculation. I am by no means well off. I made just barely over 40K last year, but we live in a pretty high cost of living area in a major city. And as you may or may not remember about me from previous threads, my husband is not well, and our medical expenses are through the roof. I have been working 6 to 7 days a week to make that 40K so we can pay our medical expenses, and still have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We live in a one bedroom apartment. My daughter's "room" is the walk in closet.

Meanwhile my ex husband goes to school full time majoring in ******* film, still has two years left, and works very minimally. He has not worked at all this summer, despite being out of school. His wife is not working at all either. They are on welfare, which I know because I get calls from his caseworker occasionally to verify child support amounts. My daughter told me they also get food from the food bank. And to top it off, his wife is pregnant.

I have been over and over the calculations and looked at the laws, and there is no way out of me having to pay unless I reduce the amount of time he gets, or try to have a full time income imputed to him (which they probably wouldn't even do in all likelihood). Either of these options will end in a custody battle, which I have neither the time, money, or sanity for. So instead I have to pay him over 1000$ a year while my daughter mostly lives with me, and he sits on his *** not working and popping out more kids he can't afford. There is no. *******. Justice.
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August 15th, 2014, 11:24 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,310
That sucks!

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
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August 15th, 2014, 07:55 PM
Spottts's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,476
I'd be totally mad having to pay in that situation, also!
Mom to 4 girls - age 11 (1/05), 9 year old twins (1/07), 21 months (7/14) and baby BOY is due May 26, 2016.

Sept. 2013 3/10/15
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August 16th, 2014, 10:22 AM
Keakie's Avatar Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
That's pretty lame. I'm sorry.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

Thank you to Babydoll213 for my fabulous siggie!
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August 21st, 2014, 12:27 PM
*Whiskey*'s Avatar Blessed
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Kentucky... again
Posts: 1,748
That does suck! I'm sorry you're dealing with that!
~ * ~ * ~ * Always believe that something good is going to happen * ~ * ~ * ~

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August 27th, 2014, 06:13 AM
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: RIGHT on the edge....
Posts: 4
UGH that sucks! So sorry!
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January 21st, 2015, 09:24 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,692
That does suck. But for $1000 a year you get your daughter back with you full-time. You can't put a price on that

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