Log In Sign Up

Heartbroken, BF has icy attitude toward "my" son...

Forum: Blended Families


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Blended Families LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
August 7th, 2006, 09:47 PM
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Its killing me inside...I'm 22wks pregnant with my second child and have a 7yr old son from a previous relationship. I love my BF and we have a great relationship. This pregnancy was unplanned but we're both happy as are our families...theres a huge problem though. It seems like he doens't like my son. I wont beat around the bush or candy coat things, when my bFs around my some he seems annoyed and uncomfortable. Whats worse is that I've seen him with his god children and hes great... his mom goes on and on about how wonderful he is around children and to top it off hes going to school to be an elementary school teacher so hes around strangers childern all day, again hes great with that. I thought it might be my own insecurities but even now his mom and sister have noticed his indifference towards my littel boy. My son is wonderful, he doenst have a behavioral problem he actually likes my BF. My son has never known his real father and I would hate for him to feel any rejection especially if i can prevent it. I dont know what to say to my BF... my sons happiness will always come before my own. I fear this might tear my BF and me apart and I'll be the single mom of 2 children. I want things to work but if he cant change I'm leaving for good. If anyone has any advice please share.
Reply With Quote
August 8th, 2006, 05:57 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chicopee ma
Posts: 15,513
Maybe u could talk to him and let him no how u feel about the whole situation...maybe he doesnt realize what he is doing and if u talk to him maybe he'll change...i wish i could give u tons of good advice..How long have u two been going out? I no when i met dylans daddy he had a daughter form his ex girlfriend and i felt uncomfortable being around her for awhile even though i LOVE children...as time went by i felt less uncomfortable even though i did keep a short distance away just not as much as i did before..I really hope he sees what he is doing for the sake of the relationship..

Reply With Quote
August 8th, 2006, 09:56 AM
Posts: n/a
I had a similar problem when my fiance and I moved in together. He is great with kids, but was always so hard on my son, and very cold toward him. I eventually talked to him about it because, like you said, my son comes first. He didn't realize he was being that way and said he'd make an effort to do better. Well, he was still unconciously the same way. I started making them spend time together. Every night Mike had to play a game, read a book, do a craft, etc. with him. He even started putting him to bed and giving him baths half the time. They eventually developed a bond and now they get along great. Hang in there, I know its difficult.
Reply With Quote
August 8th, 2006, 03:29 PM
vimagray's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: CT
Posts: 54
I have no good advice, as I can't really speak from experience, but I second whoever said you should talk to him about it. Perhaps he hasn't even noticed he's acting that way towards your son.
Reply With Quote
August 10th, 2006, 07:39 PM
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Thank u all so much for your advice. I talked to him the other night, he says hes tough on him to make him strong and independent but that he would work on it. Again thank u, this has been really tough for me and I appreciate all the feedback
Reply With Quote
August 15th, 2006, 07:43 PM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 10,350
Send a message via AIM to sara~b
My boyfriend is the same way. I'll just say little things like "why don't you play with Gemma today?" " Will you help me put her to bed?" or "Did I tell you what Gemma did today?" Sometimes just letting them know you expect them to be a part of the child's life and treat them the same way you do gets a better response than a direct confrontation. My boyfriend still isn't perfect but my daughter will always be first and I will not let him affect her happiness. I also told him he won't get any children of his own from me if I don't think he can be a good father to the child I already have. GL.
Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10

Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:44 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0