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Am i being selfish

Forum: Blended Families


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July 17th, 2005, 06:00 PM
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Boston,Ma.
Posts: 359
My bf daughters mom left her when she was 1. She is now 6 and has not seen or heard from mom since her 1st bday. We have heard through family she is going to be coming back for visitation.Is it selfish of me to not want her to come back? I know she should know her real mom and its awful of me to not want to give her the chance to know her real mom.The the other side of me feels...where the heck were you when she was sick or started kindergarden.How dare you come back now and put me on the back burner.Im afraid of when anfd if she comes back.Need advice on how to handle this????
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August 1st, 2005, 07:03 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,098
I just wanted to let you know that I've been in a similar situation. My DH has custody of his 3 kids from a previous marriage. Their mom left when the youngest was only about 5 or 6 months old. I was seeing him on the baby's 1st birthday. She went the first 4 years of the baby girls life only seeing the kids about 2 times total. She is 7 years old now. For the past three years their mom has come to see them for 1 week a year. It bothered me at first, but it's a lot easier to deal with now. The kids know who is really there for them. Your dsd is old enough to realize how much you love her and how much you do for her. She probably won't want much to do with her mom for awhile anyway. She probably doesn't even remember her mom. Sorry for making this so long, but I hope it helps you a little.

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